“It wasn’t dislocated, but I think maybe I strained a ligament or something. I went to the medical room to have it checked out and they gave me some painkillers so I could ride that night.”
“For a strained shoulder?” She looked a little dubious.
“Yeah. I’m not saying they did the wrong thing, but the next time I had a little injury, I went back. More painkillers. And before I knew it, I needed pills to get through the day. I started riding broncs, instead of sticking to cutting, which I knew. And every day I got a little more reckless with my safety. Every day, I’d get a little more hurt. And the whole thing was a giant messed-up circle.”
Lacey walked in silence beside him for a few feet until they broke through the trees. In front of them was a field of sunflowers. Their happy yellow faces were turned toward the east, where the sun was just breaking over the trees.
She caught her breath. “Oh, this is gorgeous.”
“We’ll cut these starting tomorrow. We sell them to people who sell flowers at area farmers markets.” He pointed through the trees. “Back that way, in the woods, Tanner’s got some pigs. Not many right now because we’re just learning, but the sausage in our biscuits this morning... Uh, never mind.”
She looked away, but there was a curve to her lips when she looked back. “It sounds like you guys have a plan.”
“Yeah. It’s slow, but as word gets out, a few people are starting to place orders and stuff.”
They walked another trail and came out on the far side of the pond. It was visible from the house but just a hint of a gleam in the distance. Years ago, his mother had put two Adirondack chairs in a clearing under a big oak tree. He’d painted them a bright cheerful yellow to match the swing on the front porch the first week he’d been home.
“Want to sit for a few minutes?” When Lacey nodded, he dropped into one of the chairs, stretching his leg out in front of him, resting his hand on the head of the dog, who settled beside him.
Lacey sat quietly in the chair next to him. He pointed up in the tree. “See that scraggly end of a rope tied around that branch up there? Garrett and I used to swing out over the pond and drop. Tanner, too, but he was older. My mom would sit here. She’d always squeal when the cold water splashed her.”
A smile tugged at his lips. Thoughts of his mom were always a little bittersweet. Even all these years later he missed her.
“I bet you found lots of ways to make the water splash her.”
Lacey’s voice broke into his thoughts and he glanced at her, forcing the easy smile. “How’d you guess? Garrett would never splash Mom on purpose. He was always the people pleaser. Middle-child thing, maybe.”
“And you were the baby, the boundary pusher.”
Black sheep. That’s how he always thought of himself. The troublemaker of the family, the one who didn’t quite fit. “Yeah, not much has changed, I guess.”
“I knew you were partying and I knew you were taking crazy risks, but I didn’t know why. Devin, why didn’t you ask someone for help? Why didn’t you ask me?”
He’d wondered when she would circle back to that. He looked out over the pond, sparkling in the morning light, and let the peace seep into him. God knew he needed it. “I didn’t want you to know how bad things had gotten. I didn’t want anyone to know, but especially you.”
He blew out a frustrated breath, lifting one shoulder and letting it drop. “You can see how well that turned out. But I also didn’t want to quit competing, and the drugs dulled the pain.”
When he glanced back at her, her brown eyes were wide and serious. “So that’s why you use a cane now. Because you’re in pain all the time and now there are no drugs?”
“I kept riding broncs with an ankle that was held together with pins and screws and luck. So yeah, that’s why I need a cane.” He stood and helped Lacey to her feet, holding her hand just a second too long, wishing for something he couldn’t even name. “Come on, we’ve got more to see.”
He led her down the trail that wound around the pond and to the backside of the cow pasture. The cows followed them along the fence, pets as much as they were product. But that was kind of the point, according to Tanner. A low-stress environment was good for the animals.
She walked slowly beside him, matching her pace to his. “Cows are peaceful, I think, especially when they’re just grazing in a field.”
“I think so, too. I like hearing them.” He glanced over at her, hardly believing that she was here beside him when he’d thought he might never see her again.
He opened the gate to the backyard. “I’ll get in trouble if I don’t do my chores, so I’m going to check the nesting boxes for eggs. You can wait on the porch or I’ll meet you inside if you’re ready for something to eat.”
“Oh, that sounds like a good plan. I’ll see you inside.”
Devin opened the back of the chicken coop and removed over a dozen eggs, but his mind was in the house, where Lacey was waiting. They’d talked about a lot of things this morning, but the one topic they’d studiously avoided was what happened next.
It was tempting to continue avoiding it, to hang on to that small bit of peace they’d managed to scrape together this morning, but he didn’t choose comfort over the more difficult option anymore. He couldn’t run from hard things.
Back in the kitchen, he waited until the eggs were safely put away before washing his hands and sitting down beside her. “You like the farm?”
“Love it. Tanner’s done such a careful job planning. It’s amazing.”
“Good. I have a proposition for you.”
She went still. “Am I going to like this proposition?”
“Probably...not. But in the end, you get what you want.”
“Okay,” she said slowly. “Tell me what you have in mind.”
“I’ll sign the divorce papers on one condition.”
Lacey closed her eyes. When she opened them, the wariness that had disappeared during their walk this morning was back. For a little while, it had almost been like old times. And he was holding out hope that she’d felt it, too.
“What’s the condition?”
He took a deep breath. “You stay here at the ranch until the babies are born. We’ll still have to work out custody and all that, but after they’re born, if you still want me to, I’ll sign the papers.”
“Devin, I have a life—a family—in Oklahoma. I’m staying for a few weeks if the OB says I need to, but I have to go home.” She placed both hands on the table and pushed to her feet. “It’s a crazy idea.”
“It probably is, but that’s the deal.” He was so nervous, but he forced himself to keep a relaxed position in the chair.
“You know I could take you to court anyway.”
“I know, but I’m really hoping you won’t. Give me a chance to show you that I can be a better person. That I can be a man who’ll show up for his family. If you don’t stay, you’ll never know.”
There were twin spots of color high on her cheekbones. “I need some time to think about this, Devin.”
“You can have all the time you need.” A fragment of a memory flashed in his mind, the two of them outside a hotel room door, her hand on his cheek and love in her eyes. It took his breath away.
He prayed that once she gave it some thought, she would want to stay.
And he would have a second chance.