And if she could hear his horrible thoughts, she’d be mortified.
It wasn’t that Gage didn’t want to honor his friend’s request or even that he didn’t want Hudson. But he was nowhere near the right person for taking care of a baby or raising a child. Not in the least.
“I talked to Zeke’s aunt Rita again today. There isn’t another family member who can take him. Rita’s in her late sixties, and she and her husband have some health problems, so they’re not an option. There is no one. That’s why Zeke left him to me in the first place. I thought he’d just been delirious with grief.” Gage picked up his mug and took a sip. The tea had an apple-like flavor. Not terrible. Not the best thing he’d ever tasted. At least it added some moisture to his parched mouth. “But I guess not. I asked the nanny if she could watch Hudson at the ranch, but she’s already accepted a new position that starts next week. She was apologetic. Said she needs the money and took the other job because she hadn’t known what the future held with Hudson. And, of course, the new family is counting on her now, so she’s out. I should have talked to her right away. Asked her to stay on.” But he’d been certain there would be another family member or couple who would be a better fit for Hudson. Gage had never imagined he’d end up actually keeping the boy.
Emma twisted the mug in her hands back and forth. “You still don’t feel...qualified to be his guardian?”
“Not in the least.”
“What happens if you say no? Can you even say no?”
“I can ask the court to be relieved of the guardianship.”
“Then what?”
Gage set his mug on the coffee table, his next words weighing down his tongue. “I think he’d go into the foster care system.”
Emma’s features warred between disbelief and dismay. “But you wouldn’t let that happen, right? I mean, you have to take him.” Her lips formed a tight bud. “I’m sorry. I’ve said too much, I just—”
“You’re right. I do have to. At least for the time being.” Gage would honor what he’d told Zeke. He would take care of Hudson—by keeping him temporarily while searching until he found a better situation for the boy.
Emma relaxed visibly, color returning to her cheeks.
“But I still don’t think I’m the right person for this. I have no idea how to take care of a baby. I know absolutely nothing. What am I supposed to do?”
He met her steel-blue eyes, letting the questions brim. Emma was twenty-three. Six years younger than him. His friend’s little sister. And yet here he was dumping all of this on her and expecting answers. But she was good that way. The kind of comforting person everyone wanted to be around.
From the moment she’d tugged him inside, a little of the burden crushing him had ebbed. The Emma Effect.
She brightened. “I’ll help.” She set her tea on the coffee table with excited force, moving to the edge of her seat. “This is our slow season. We only have a few church groups here and there on the weekends. Maybe a corporate event. I can work around those, and, truthfully, they don’t even need me because there’s usually no Kids’ Club. I can watch Hudson while you get things in order.”
Steel drums pounded inside his skull. Emma’s idea could work. It was asking a lot of her, but Gage could pay her. Since his uncle had left him the ranch free and clear, it had allowed Gage to take some risks that had paid off. The ranch had done well for him. Plus, Zeke—being himself and completely prepared—had left provisions for taking care of Hudson.
“If you’re serious, that might just work. You watching him would buy me the time to find a better home for him.”
“Or—” Emma’s hand lifted in an endearing I-just-thought-of-this gesture “—maybe you have the right home for him, and by having him stay with you, you’ll figure that out.”
“That’s not the case, Emma. I am sure of that. I might feel differently if I ever planned or hoped to have kids one day, but I don’t. Not everyone is built for having children.”
Disappointment creased the corners of her arresting eyes. With her light brown hair and fresh complexion, Emma wasn’t supermodel gorgeous. She was more...girl-next-door pretty. She was also innocent and sweet and crazy to think that he could or should raise Hudson.
“It would be a short-term fix. Maybe it’s wrong. Maybe God will send fire and brimstone down on me for it, but I’m only going to take Hudson on a provisional basis. Please tell me you’ll still help now that I’ve admitted that. Because I don’t know what I’m going to do if you can’t.” Gage swallowed a frenzied laugh. “No pressure or anything.”
Emma took a sip of tea, the lower curve of her lip partially hidden behind the mug rim. “I’m the one who offered. I’m not going to renege. It’s all going to work out, Gage.”
“Anyone ever tell you that your optimism knows no bounds?”
She laughed, a happy, infectious sound. “I know you can do this.”
And Gage knew this—Emma might be full of fanciful ideas, but he was not. A more fitting home existed for Hudson. He just had to find it.
* * *
If someone handed Emma a baby, she’d tuck the bundle against her stomach like a football and run for it so no one could take the child back. Gage couldn’t sprint fast enough in the other direction. He was a single twenty-nine-year-old guy. Of course caring for a baby wasn’t at the top of his wish list, but God must have put this exact thing in Gage’s life for a reason.
Usually the man across from her was all things strong and put together. But tonight he wore his confusion and weariness much like his navy blue sweater, jeans and brown lace-up boots.
When she’d opened the door, he’d looked as lost as he had in his vehicle the other day.
Emma took a sip from her vintage Rocky Mountain National Park mug that had been in her parents’ cupboard for as long as she could remember, the tea’s subtle undertones familiar and soothing. When her parents had purged and moved out of state, she hadn’t been able to let the childhood memory go. Along with a few others.
“We’ll figure it out, Gage. You’re not alone in this. Might feel like it, but you have people willing to help. You have a tribe over here. We’re not going to leave you hanging.”
The faintest smile touched his mouth. “Thanks. I appreciate that. It’s just...usually I know exactly what needs to be done, and I just...do it.” He reached for his tea, downing a swig as if the liquid could right all that had gone topsy-turvy in his life. “But this...”
But this time, he knew what he should do and he was fighting it. Emma got that. She had a little feistiness in her, too. Not as much as her sister, Mackenzie, but still. It was almost never easy to do the right thing. The thing God was asking for that was too big, too hard.
But she also believed Zeke must have had a reason for choosing Gage as the baby’s guardian.
She’d help Gage with Hudson because she wanted to. Because it only made sense for her to lend a hand. But she didn’t plan to admit to Gage that she had ulterior motives. She believed this baby could heal something in him that his ex-wife had broken.
Gage might view himself as a temporary guardian for Hudson, but if Emma had anything to say about it, this situation would be permanent.
Gage strode out of Rita’s house on Friday morning with Hudson strapped into a mobile car seat. He half expected the police to show up with guns blazing and accuse him of baby stealing.