‘Outside’s good. I’m warm after my shower.’ There was a slight slur going on in her speech.
He set plates and forks on either side of the table and opened the container from the restaurant. ‘After you,’ he said, indicating the chair opposite.
When she pulled up a chair next to the one he was going to use his first instinct was to move to the other side, but she’d be affronted and he didn’t want that. After the day he’d had and spending the last hour sorting out Alesha’s problem, he craved peace and quiet to eat and then he’d go back to his mother’s house, hopefully for an uninterrupted night’s sleep. Although that wasn’t guaranteed—no one ever knew when the next child would arrive on the doorstep, brought in by the police or a distraught neighbour.
It was draining enough doing this work for a week at a time. How his mother coped year in, year out, he had no idea, except she was resilient and had come through a lot in her life, including putting up with his father’s affairs to be there for her son until she finally couldn’t take any more. He had nothing to complain about really and next week he’d be back in London working every hour available dealing with his scheduled list of patients that was endless.
‘You’ve gone quiet,’ Alesha commented as she loaded her plate with salad. Her shoulder bumped against his. Deliberate or accidental?
‘Just letting go of the day.’ He shifted his chair sideways.
‘Tell me more about this place you’re helping out at. It must be quite big to have an operating theatre.’
‘Like I said, it’s a shelter for neglected children. The operating theatre’s tiny. Not a lot of operations are done there. Take today. A wee girl was found hidden in bushes under the Dubrovnik bridge, cold, hungry and with numerous injuries. She hasn’t spoken a word, has had surgery, and faced strangers poking at her and asking questions, and just stands there staring around as though nothing’s real.’
‘Except the pain in her heart.’
‘Exactly. One look in her eyes and you can see it, you know? It’s huge, and everyone accepts it’s going to take a long, long time to lighten it.’
‘If they ever do.’ A layer of sadness settled in Alesha’s eyes and voice.
She really got it. Did that mean she’d been hurt badly in the past? Or was there a massive heart inside that chest that understood people? ‘At least she’s safe now, but what the future holds is anyone’s guess.’ Kristof needed air, space. That sadness was tugging at him when it shouldn’t. Standing up, he walked to the other end of the deck to stare down at the harbour filled with cruise ships. Tourists flooded Dubrovnik during the day, turning the Old City situated behind these hills into a place most locals avoided until winter, when they got the city back to themselves. At night many of the tourists would be back on board their ship making the most of the entertainment put on free of charge.
He heard a movement beside him and Alesha was standing there, her hands on the concrete wall, leaning forward to peer in the same direction as him. ‘It’s stunning.’ So she’d joined him but wasn’t continuing the conversation that had him fidgeting to get away.
He usually managed to keep the kids he saw in his mother’s clinic at a distance. But today Capeka had got to him. His shield had slipped. He didn’t know why, but did know it wasn’t a good look. And that it couldn’t happen again. Not if he intended to maintain his barriers against being in a loving relationship. ‘Yes, it’s magic.’
‘Very different from London.’
If she was digging for information about his life back there she would need a bulldozer. He commented, ‘We don’t get the wonderful weather, for starters.’
Her mouth flattened. Then turned up into a grin. ‘Fair enough.’ The grin was quickly followed by a yawn. ‘Sorry. It’s been quite a day on top of a long night. I didn’t knock off work until eleven last night and since it was my last time on the ward there was a visit to the pub involved afterwards. Then today Luke’s bombshell really sank in when I stepped out of the plane into Croatia.’
‘I’ll leave you alone, then.’ Kristof’s jaw dropped. He didn’t want to go. He really didn’t, instead wanted to hold her close, kiss away that hurt that had started going on in her eyes when she’d mentioned a big day. ‘Are you going to be all right?’
Wipe your mouth out. You don’t do personal questions. With anyone.
It brought people close when he learned what made them tick, meant he could no longer put them in a box.
Alesha blinked, hard. Her mouth flattened. He didn’t like that. Nor that slumping that sloped her shoulders.
‘Sorry, don’t answer that. It’s none of my business.’ But if he could make her feel a bit happier, he would.
‘We planned this trip at Easter. Then a couple of weeks ago I learned I was the only one flying to Dubrovnik. Luke has found someone else and they’ve gone to Paris for the weekend.’
That was appalling. Who did that? ‘Can I swear?’
‘Go ahead but it won’t change anything.’ She’d crossed her arms and those long manicured fingernails were digging into her biceps.
He’d prefer they were on his biceps. Kristof stepped closer so his arm touched hers. That was as close as he was getting, tantalising fingers or not. But hell, he wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss that sadness away. Even when the man she’d want kissing her wasn’t him.
Alesha leaned into him, as though now she’d voiced what had happened the strength to stay upright had deserted her.
He couldn’t resist. His arm wound around her shoulders, to give her support. Nothing more. Or was it? A heady mix of gentleness, need and friendship closed around him. A totally foreign sensation. He lost track of how long they stood there, both staring out across the harbour with a myriad lights winking from the ships and the wharves, he holding her, she trembling.
Then she knocked him sideways with a whisper. ‘You don’t have to go. I could do with some company.’ When she turned to face him she was close so her breasts brushed against his chest. When her mouth touched his, those lips were soft and warm, exciting, just as he’d imagined. Talk about getting what he wished for.
Kristof lifted his chin and stepped back, his hands on her shoulders until she found her balance. ‘Thank you for asking but you’re feeling let down, unhappy, disappointed. Tomorrow you’ll regret having made that suggestion.’ He was already regretting not following through. As far as kisses went that one had barely got started, but every cell in his body was screaming out for more and for the follow-up rampant sex.
‘That’s a no, then.’
‘Yes, Alesha, it is.’ Give him strength, because the more he said no, the more he knew it was a lie, that he wanted to accept her invitation, to lose himself in her, give her a reason to let go the hurt plaguing her eyes for a few hours at least.
‘I could beg.’ Fixed on him, her eyes were enormous.
‘It wouldn’t become you.’ His lips grazed her forehead. He breathed in apples from her hair.
Go, while you still can.
Dropping his hands, he stepped further away. ‘Take care, Alesha. Whatever you do, enjoy your time in Croatia.’ And on that dry note he left, feeling her eyes boring into his back until he reached the bottom step and let himself out onto the street. He didn’t know if she watched from above as he walked up the road, wasn’t looking back over his shoulder to find out. Alesha had come into his life with a problem. Now the crisis was fixed and with every step he took he was leaving her further behind, safe, out of his life, out of the way of temptation. He couldn’t fix her bigger problem.
‘Kristof, wait. Stop. Look up the road.’