A sharp pain ripped through Lorna’s head once more.
Vikki’s baby. There were photographs of Vikki with the same mop of dark hair. A small bundle of potential.
‘Do you know what Vikki wanted to call her?’
Lorna shook her head. She’d no idea. None. How awful was that? They’d never once discussed what they might call their children. Never talked about favourite names.
She couldn’t even do that for Vikki. She felt tears prickle behind her eyes.
‘No? Well, that was a silly question, really, if you didn’t know she was pregnant. But she needs a name, all the same.’ Ellie looked up from the sleeping baby. ‘What are you going to call her?’
‘Me?’
‘She can’t be Baby Drummond for ever.’
Lorna’s hand moved to rest against her stomach. A name? Vikki would probably have chosen something slightly alternative. Maybe Delilah… or Lola? Or…?
Her mind was a complete blank. She might not be the earth mother figure everyone was hoping for, but she wanted to get this right. A name stayed with you for life.
‘Choose something you like.’
‘Katherine.’ Her voice was husky. She’d no idea where that name had come from. Pulled from somewhere deep within her. ‘I’ll call her Katherine,’ she said, more firmly.
‘Nice.’ Ellie reached for a pen and wrote ‘Katherine’ on the notes hanging off the end of the bed, then leant over the cot. ‘Hello, Katherine. Your auntie is here, and you’ll soon be going home.’
‘She can’t go home with me.’ Lorna’s voice rang out, overloud. She hadn’t meant it to sound like that.
Ellie unbent and looked at her.
‘I—I want to make everything lovely for her. I do. But she can’t live with me.’
‘Lorna—’
‘I don’t know anything about babies.’ Her voice rose in a mixture of panic and desperation. ‘I’ve never even held one, and—’
‘There’s nothing that needs to be decided this moment,’ Ellie cut her off. ‘Don’t rush it. I’ll put you in touch with all the interested parties. Decisions can come later. Much later. You’ve got a lot to adjust to.’
But Lorna knew better. You couldn’t grow up with someone, share their secrets, and not know that if their situations had been reversed Ellie wouldn’t have hesitated. Katherine would have had a home, been loved.
‘There are lots of options for Katherine’s future. You’ll need to think carefully about them all. It’s important we get it right. She’s already lost her mum. That’s a tough start for anyone.’
Lorna glanced back at Katherine. She was sleeping. Her right hand was curled into a fist and resting against her cheek. ‘What will happen to her?’
‘If she doesn’t have a relative to take care of her, you mean?’
Lorna nodded.
‘Most probably she’ll be fostered while everyone makes every effort to find one.’
And if there aren’t any? Lorna didn’t need to ask the question out loud.
‘Eventually she’ll be put up for adoption. But not until everyone is certain her father isn’t going to step forward and claim her. There’s plenty of time.’
It was what she’d thought she wanted. All the way over on the plane. But it felt different when you were faced with a person not an ‘it’. Lorna brushed her hair back off her face, feeling the heat and the stress. Pain thumped through her temples. If she could just sleep. She was sure everything would be clearer then.
‘Did you come in by taxi?’ Ellie asked, watching her.
‘Yes.’
‘Then Rafe and I will take you home.’
Home. It had never really felt like a home. Not like Ellie’s. Ellie’s and Rafe’s. Their home had been full of comfy sofas, real coffee and walls of books. A wonderful, magical, warm place.
Their mother hadn’t screamed for constant attention or taken a cocktail of pills to keep her alive. And, unlike Lorna’s mum, she hadn’t relied on either of her children to run the house for her.
‘You don’t need to—’
‘We practically pass your front door.’
‘Will Rafe mind?’
Ellie laughed. ‘Why should he? I’ll take that as ayes, then.’
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