Crap. He hadn’t wanted things to go down this way. Josh had never imagined, when he saved them, that he would get stuck with the two runaways. At first he’d had no intention of taking Clare and Jimmy with him anywhere, and the idea of bringing them along to Zavala Springs had been the furthest thing from his mind. After all, he barely wanted to go back there to face the past himself. He sure as hell didn’t want to drag her and the baby along to mingle with his old ghosts, too. No way would he take a chance of her finding out about his family’s bizarre history.
But what was he supposed to do with them? He couldn’t just dump a woman and a baby by the side of the road. Certainly not this woman and child. So he bit back his temper once again and stepped down on the gas pedal.
Clare made a little snuffling noise and he shot a furious glance in her direction. Her arms were hugging her chest and those fancy, full lips of hers were all stuck out in a huff. Shoot. Another more urgent and surprising sizzle of awareness clipped him in the gut without warning.
Suddenly the urge to kiss her senseless swamped him with such a need that he wasn’t sure he could tame it. Danged woman! This kind of aggravation was more than he could stand at the moment. How had his life taken such a drastic turn in only a few short hours?
Gritting his teeth and forcing his gaze back out the windshield where it belonged, Josh noticed that the lavender and gray tones of the coming dawn had begun to lighten the morning sky and give shape to their surroundings. A new day had begun over southeast Texas. Breathe, he admonished himself. Just breathe in and out, enjoy the scenery and stay calm. For sure he wasn’t going to tell her too much about his family, and she wouldn’t be in Zavala Springs long enough to find out on her own. So just roll with it.
As for the kissing-her-senseless part, well, he was too tough to let that bother him for long. He’d been trained as a Ranger, after all. Hooah! Steely minded when he wanted to be—or when he was forced to be—this moment had just become one of those times that called for using his dogged determination.
“Josh, I’m guessing you’re not currently married,” she said quietly from her corner of the seat.
He nearly bit down on his tongue as his steely mind reeled. “What makes you say so?”
“You’re not wearing a ring and you said you didn’t live anywhere. But that doesn’t tell me if you’ve ever been married, or if you have kids somewhere. Do you?”
Swallowing hard and slowly shaking his head, he answered, “No ex-wife. No children. And it’s probably just as well.”
“Oh? Why? Don’t you like kids?”
The ache in his gut grew into a pain of longing so bad he barely kept from doubling over. He couldn’t understand why these old familiar pains hadn’t gone away long ago. Geez, you’d think a big, tough guy like him would’ve gotten over it already.
“Kids are okay, I guess. I’ve never had a chance to be around them much.” He took the opportunity and checked her expression. “What are you getting at?”
From her spot snugged up close to the passenger door, Clare shrugged at Josh’s question. “Oh, nothing much.” What the devil could she say that didn’t make her sound nosy and controlling as hell? “It’s only that if you had kids, I would think you’d be much more sympathetic to why I can’t take a chance on losing Jimmy.”
“I’m plenty sympathetic. I’m taking you two with me and I’m going to help you get away.”
She narrowed her lips in a frown to keep herself from asking why. But she decided she had nothing more to add to the conversation. Maybe she’d already said too much.
Josh must have guessed she wanted more information, because he kept trying to explain. “Look. When I said it was probably just as well that I’d never had kids, I was talking about how crazy my life is right now. I got busted out of the Rangers a few months ago and I haven’t put my feet back under me yet. I don’t have a job, no house and no ideas of what I want to do next. I have no clue where I’ll be for sure next week, let alone six months from now. What kind of life is that for a kid?”
“None.” But she also took into consideration the fact that he looked to be about midthirties and he had never been married and didn’t seem too interested in having a family anytime soon, if ever.
Clare’s slightly shaky—and definitely rattled—mind came to an instant conclusion. As much as this guy was hot and turned her knees to mush when he glanced her way, and as much as he had come to their rescue several times, he was not now nor ever would be the guy for her. She wanted a big family badly. Always had. There would be a lot more children coming into her life, she just knew it. And she needed a steady guy who wanted kids as badly as she did in order to get that family.
Clare wanted a career, too, of course. She wanted it all. But didn’t women these days have a chance of getting it all? Gulping down a bubble of indecision mixed with apprehension, she tried to find some semblance of her old backbone. She and Jimmy had come this far. She would find a way out of the mess she’d caused. And then, when they were finally safe, she would also find a nice man who wanted a family. One who wanted to stand shoulder to shoulder with her as they went through life together, working and raising kids. He had to be out there somewhere.
Josh Ryan definitely didn’t qualify as the life partner she envisioned.
He guided Lucille onto the Southwest Freeway and within twenty minutes they were miles out of Houston. The fast-food places and convenience store/gas stations gave way to big unbroken parcels of live oak and cottonwood, while the sun came peeking through a patch of early morning haze and lit their surroundings. Daylight. A new day. There had been a time last night when she didn’t think she would live to have another day with Jimmy.
Cranking her neck, she glanced over her shoulder to check on the baby. He was still sleeping soundly. She had kept him up too late last night. Chalk one more mistake against her.
Clare let her gaze wander from Jimmy’s seat to stare out the back window. Scanning the road behind them, she looked for any sign that someone might be following them. But she saw nothing out of the ordinary in the growing light of dawn. Just the usual early-morning traffic. Relaxing in her seat, she leaned her head back against the headrest. Maybe she could get a few minutes’ sleep herself.
When she next opened her eyes, the sun was higher in the sky, pouring heat through the back windshield and raising the temperature in the pickup’s cab. Jimmy was making his normal morning waking-up-and-now-it’s-time-to-eat noises in the backseat. Clare looked at her watch and was surprised to see it was already nearing nine o’clock. They would have to stop soon for food and a change of diapers.
She glanced out the windshield and noticed a gentle difference in the scenery. They were no longer on a main expressway but were traveling down a back country highway. The landscape and the vegetation passing by weren’t quite the same as before. But it didn’t look like West Texas scenery, either, the kind she remembered with its parched fields, cedars and hackberries hidden down in gullies and canyons. Instead, the view outside the truck’s window was more of a rolling landscape. She did recognize the mesquite, and some scrawny purple sage interspersed between rows of good raw land laid bare for planting. Those things had taken the place of the tall pines, willows and swampland feel of the countryside around Houston.
Clare tried to recall what she’d heard about Zavala Springs. It wasn’t much. They area was known for one main thing, the huge Delgado Ranch. One of the largest cattle ranches in the world, the Delgado raised and fed cattle, horses and exotic animals. They also grew oil and gas wells in abundance. The headquarters for the Delgado were located in Zavala Springs. She’d never been there, but her father had gone many times to sell drilling supplies to the Delgado Ranch people.
Clare let her