Bag in one hand, he patted her head with the other. “I might not be able to do that, munchkin. I appreciate the invitation, though.”
As Hannah went back into the living room to watch some kids’ TV show, he glanced over at his little sister, including her in the apology. Lainie looked unhappy but nodded because that was the answer she’d expected. She didn’t like it, but she understood.
“Thanks for coming,” she said, giving him his third hug of the day. “It meant a lot to Mom and me.”
But not to Dad, Nick added silently. While he’d anticipated the pastor’s cool reception and barely there conversation, it had stung more than he wanted to admit. So many years had passed since they’d been together as a family, he’d let himself believe that maybe this visit would be different.
Wrong again.
His phone started buzzing in his coat pocket. Grateful for the distraction, he took it out and checked the caller ID. When he saw it was the Rockland Airport, he groaned before hitting Answer. “Please don’t tell me that Richmond flight’s delayed again.”
Feeling like the universe itself was somehow lined up against him, he leaned his forehead against a cool pane of glass in the kitchen door. Yesterday’s flurries had built into something more substantial, and he heard the scraping-ice sound of a highway plow passing by the house. “I know the weather’s still bad. When’s the first plane back?”
Grinding his teeth, he waited while the airline clerk tapped keys on her computer. Her eventual answer didn’t thrill him. Apparently they were grounding all flights south, and the first flight out was— “Noon tomorrow? Are you serious?”
After being assured that yes, the clerk was serious, he sighed his agreement and scribbled his new confirmation code on the back of the tag he’d crammed into his pocket at the toy store and promptly forgotten. Punching the off button on his phone, he put it back in his pocket and waved the snowflake at Lainie. “Did you know about this?”
In the middle of washing the breakfast dishes, she let her hands drip into the sink and looked over at him. “Sure. Julia told Hannah she could ask for anything she wanted, and she asked for you.”
“That’s crazy,” he grumbled, dropping into one of six mismatched chairs. “She doesn’t even know me.”
Taking a towel from its ring near the sink, Lainie dried her hands before joining him at the table. Resting a hand on his arm, she gave him an adoring smile. “She knows about you. I’ve got plenty of pictures, and I’ve told her lots of stories about her supersmart and talented uncle. I mean, how many people have what it takes to run their very own online magazine?”
Her glowing description of him made him antsy, and he leaned back in his chair to put a little space between them. “Thanks, but I kinda like my black-sheep status. Makes things easier.”
“Things like ducking every family gathering for the past seven years? After you came back for my wedding, it was like you dropped off the face of the earth.” Frowning, she shook her head. “That’s no way to live, Nick. Mom and I miss you like crazy.”
“Not Dad, though,” he argued. “He likes this arrangement just as much as I do.”
“It’s not an arrangement. It’s avoidance, and I don’t understand why the rest of us have to suffer because you and Dad are too stubborn to make amends.”
“Amends?” Instantly on the defensive, Nick jumped up to start pacing. “What makes you think that’s even possible after all this time?”
“Ian’s death was an accident. Everyone knows that except you.”
Normally, he avoided this subject entirely, but for some reason today was different. “It wasn’t an accident, and Dad and I both know it. I’m responsible for what happened. If I hadn’t been messing around in that boat, our big brother would’ve had a great life instead of drowning when he was fifteen.”
Anguish filled her hazel eyes, then tears began streaming down her cheeks. Nick felt awful for having unleashed all that, and he crouched down to put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Lainie. I didn’t mean to open all that up again.”
“It’s not your fault.” She sniffled, gazing at him with the loving little-sister look he’d missed all these years. “It was never your fault. Every night, I pray that someday you’ll believe that.”
She meant well, and the thought of her praying for him should have made him feel better. Instead, it shoved his temper into high gear, and he fought to keep his voice calm. “Save your prayers for someone who really needs them. I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not,” she insisted with the same trademark McHenry stubbornness she’d accused him of. “I don’t care how indestructible you think you are. No one’s strong enough to handle everything on their own.”
“It’s a nice thought.” Standing, he kissed her forehead before stepping back. “But you’re wasting your time praying for me.”
Gasping, she stared at him as if he’d slapped her. “How could you possibly think that?”
“God only answers if He cares. He stopped caring about me a long time ago.”
Because he’d had more than enough theology for one day, Nick pulled up his coat collar and headed outside. It would be cold out there, but at least it would be quiet.
* * *
After an enjoyable but exhausting Saturday at Toyland, Julia welcomed the quiet of Sunday morning. Walking to the small church across the square, she met up with several others doing the same thing. They all greeted her with a smile, and they chatted along the way. A weekly tradition for her, it was a very pleasant start to the day.
Inside the old-fashioned chapel, Julia slid into her usual spot beside the Martins. After greeting everyone, she glimpsed the pastor’s wife, Ann McHenry, sitting with the choir and sent her a subtle wave. The woman beamed and nodded back, and Julia realized she was looking into the same eyes Nick had. The difference was that Ann’s had a permanent sparkle in them, as if she looked into the world and saw something amusing every day.
Her son’s held barely restrained contempt, with the occasional glint of interest when something snared his attention. During her life in the diplomatic arena, Julia had met hundreds of people, and she’d developed a knack for reading them. None of that helped her with Nick, she thought with a frown as she opened her hymnal. From what she’d seen, the man was a mystery wrapped in an enigma.
“Did Nick get to the airport all right?” she asked Lainie.
“His flight got delayed ’til tomorrow. He stayed up late working last night, so he was still asleep when we left to come here. He probably wouldn’t have come anyway,” she added with a grimace. “Stubborn’s not the word for him sometimes.”
Julia had no trouble believing that, but she suspected his challenging demeanor was his way of keeping people at a distance. Sadly, it was a strategy she understood all too well. Trusting by nature, she’d learned the hard way that when you let someone too close, they discovered all kinds of things about you. That kind of intimate knowledge gave them a chance to hurt you so deeply, it took all your strength just to put one foot in front of the other.
The organ’s mellow chords pulled her from her dismal thoughts, and she gladly let them go. After their first hymn, Pastor Daniel McHenry moved out from behind his lectern and held his arms open wide. “Welcome, one and all, to the Safe Harbor Church. If you’re joining us for the first time this morning, feel free to introduce yourself.”
It was a no-pressure way to bring them into the fold, and the few brave enough to stand were greeted warmly by the pastor. She’d never known Pastor McHenry to have a harsh word for anyone. His wife and daughter were the same way. So what