Wasn’t that the reason why she’d told him things weren’t working out between them?
She had too many secrets, and he’d asked too many questions and lying to someone she respected and admired and wanted to get to know wasn’t something she’d been willing to do.
She still wasn’t willing to do it, but she couldn’t tell him the truth without losing everything she cared about most.
“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, lamely filling the silence.
“See you then,” he responded as he walked down the porch steps, zipping his bomber jacket against the cold.
He moved with an effortless confidence. Why wouldn’t he? He was a Fitzgerald in Fitzgerald Bay. Surrounded by family and love. Embraced by a community that knew and loved him.
Merry’s siblings were in Boston, and she couldn’t return there. Her mother and father had been gone for a decade.
All she had was her son and way too many secrets.
Sometimes, that made life a little lonelier than she wanted it to be.
Douglas tipped his hat as he got into his SUV, flashing the charming smile that had given him a reputation as the most eligible bachelor in town. Merry had heard plenty about his single status during her first months in Fitzgerald Bay. As a matter of fact, more than one of the older ladies in her Bible study had suggested that Douglas would be perfect husband and father material. Maybe that’s why she’d given into temptation and gone out with him. Or maybe she’d just been desperate to connect, to feel normal and unencumbered. To be young and carefree and filled with dreams.
Whatever the case, she’d made a mistake. She couldn’t afford to make another one. She closed the door, turning the bolt and setting the alarm, checking the windows and back door. Going through the ritual that had been part of her life for four years.
When she finished, she went into Tyler’s room, put her hand on his solid little shoulder. “I’m sorry I snapped at you, sweetie, but you need to obey me the first time. Not the second or third.”
“I’m sorry, too, Mommy. Next time I’ll listen better.” He wrapped his arms around her waist, buried his face in her side. Precocious and busy, he had a sweet nature that made him very easy to love.
“Good. Now, give me a kiss, and then we’ll go down and have some dinner.”
“Kiss!” He pressed a kiss to her cheek, giggling as she tickled his belly.
“Let’s go.” She took his hand, and he bounced out of the room. Bounced down the steps. Bounced into the kitchen. Preschool teachers were already talking about attention deficit and hyperactivity. Very bright. Extremely likable. Too busy. Too active. Too talkative. The labels had been stamped on his forehead, and Merry knew they’d follow him into kindergarten in the fall. She’d been hoping that being in a small community, having friends and teachers who accepted him as he was would smooth the transition into school. That was one of the reasons she’d stayed in Fitzgerald Bay longer than she’d stayed anywhere since she’d left Boston.
“Is the policeman really gone?” Tyler asked, and Merry nodded.
“Yes.”
“But he’s coming back tomorrow?”
“That’s right. Only tomorrow, you’re not going to open the door for him. You’re going to let me do that.”
“But—”
“Tyler, it’s one of our rules that can’t be broken, remember? You are never to open the door unless I give you permission.” Because the thought of him opening the door for a stranger with his black eyes and deeply tanned complexion filled Merry with terror.
“I remember. I won’t open the door again. I promise.” He threw his arms around her waist, his chubby cheek pressed to her thigh.
“When you make a promise you have to keep it. Right?” Even if the promise costs you everything.
“Yes. Can I have a cookie?”
“After dinner.” Which couldn’t come soon enough. She needed time to think. Not easy to come by with Tyler awake and active. She wouldn’t have it any other way, though.
“When is dinner?”
“Soon.”
“Chicken nuggets?”
“Fish.”
“Yuck.” Tyler frowned, and Merry did her best not to smile.
“Be happy we have food.”
“I’d be happier if the food was chicken.” He ran to the living room window, pressed his face against the glass. “Is he really coming back?”
“Yes, Tyler. Tomorrow.”
Unless she could think of a way to get out of it. A way that wouldn’t make Douglas more suspicious than he already was.
Or, maybe she didn’t have to think of a way. Maybe, she just needed to make a way. Pack a bag for herself and Tyler, take the bus south or west or even north, ride until she reached a place where she and Ty could easily get lost in the teeming mill of humanity. She’d done it before, been successful before. She could do it again. Only, she had a feeling that Douglas would track her down. He might be charming and easy to look at, but he wouldn’t be easy to cross.
The phone rang, and she answered quickly, eager for a distraction. “Hello?”
“Merry? It’s Fiona.” Her boss Fiona Fitzgerald’s voice poured across the line, and Merry blinked back the tears she’d been fighting all afternoon. Melting into a blubbering puddle of sorrow and fear wouldn’t do her any good, and it would only scare Tyler.
“I guess you’ve heard the news, Fiona.”
“I don’t think there’s anyone in town who hasn’t. How are you holding up?”
“I’m okay.”
“Are you sure? I’m shaken, and I wasn’t the one who found Olivia.”
“I’m sure.” An image of the body lying below the cliff, arms and legs splayed, blond hair dark from salty spray flashed through her mind, and she shoved it away. She wanted to remember Olivia vibrantly alive. Not broken and still.
“Douglas said he’s going to stop by your place tomorrow. Would you like me to come by, too? I can bring Sean. He and Tyler can play together.”
“I can’t ask you to do that, Fiona.”
“You’re not asking. I’m offering.” A widow with a six-year-old son, Fiona had proven to be an understanding employer. She allowed Merry time off when she needed it, understood the demands of single motherhood.
“And I appreciate it, but I don’t want you and Sean to give up your afternoon for us. Why don’t you bring him over when the Reading Nook closes next week? We can have dinner together.” If Merry was still around, and the way that things were looking, she wasn’t sure she would be.
But she didn’t want to leave.
She liked Fitzgerald Bay. She liked the people she’d met there. She liked her little house and her landlady. But more than all of that, she liked the home she was making for Tyler. A place to settle, that’s what she’d seen when she’d driven into the little fishing town. She didn’t want to have to run from it.
“Are you sure, Merry? My brother is charming, but he can be pushy. I don’t mind being a buffer.”
“Am I going to need a buffer?”
“That depends on how much Douglas thinks you know.”
“I’ve already told him what I know, so I’m sure I’ll be fine.” She hoped, because from the sound of things, Douglas might have mentioned