He frowned at the question. “What do you mean?”
“When do you have to report back for duty?”
“July seventh.”
Which was actually longer than she’d expected and still not nearly long enough if he was serious about building a relationship with Emma. “So why are you even here?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, why did you bother to come all this way, feign an interest in being a father to the child you claim is your own, if you’re going to go wheels up again in a few weeks?”
“I’m not feigning an interest,” he said. “And I’ll go wheels up again because that’s my job.”
“And if Emma is your daughter, who will take care of her while you’re doing your job?”
Zach was taken aback, not just by Paige’s question—which demonstrated the glaringly obvious fact that he hadn’t thought very far ahead when he’d embarked on this journey—but by the disapproval in her tone.
Okay, so maybe he didn’t have all of the answers. Maybe he didn’t have any of the answers. But he was determined to do the right thing and, as far as he could tell, being a father to his daughter was the right thing.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “But I’ll make arrangements.”
“You mean day care,” she guessed.
“Didn’t you have her in day care?”
“Olivia had found a babysitter who lives close to the office. It’s a more personal environment than a day care and Emma’s happy there.”
“That’s great,” Zach said. “Except that I live in New Jersey.”
Paige dipped her head, her coppery hair falling forward to hide her face, but not before he saw the tears that filled her eyes.
He silently cursed himself for his insensitivity. Because he knew that as much as he’d been completely blindsided by the news that he had fathered a child, this woman had been just as shocked to find him standing at her door. For the past five-and-a-half months she’d been raising Emma. She’d been responsible for the day-to-day care of his child and, with a few simple words, he’d threatened to destroy the foundation of that relationship.
He impulsively reached across the table and touched a hand to her arm.
She jolted at the unexpected contact. Or maybe she’d been startled by the electricity that suddenly crackled in the air. It had sure as hell startled him.
She looked at him now, and he saw both wariness and awareness in the depths of her dark brown eyes. He’d expected her to have green eyes to go with the red hair. Instead, they were the color of rich, dark chocolate and sinfully tempting. His gaze dipped to her mouth, to lips that were naturally pink and sweetly curved, and he found himself wondering if they would taste as good as they looked.
Whoa—totally inappropriate thought there.
This woman was the legal guardian of his daughter, and it was unlikely he would gain either her trust or sympathy by making a move on her within two hours of meeting her. But he couldn’t deny he was tempted.
Of course, he’d been overseas for the past year and a half and hadn’t been with a woman for even longer than that. In fact, he hadn’t been with anyone since the last weekend he’d spent with Olivia … likely the weekend their daughter had been conceived.
Thinking of Emma reminded him why he was there, and he dropped his hand from Paige’s arm. But the air continued to crackle, the tension continued to build.
“I don’t want us to be adversaries,” he said at last.
“I don’t see how we can be anything else, not if it’s your intention to disrupt Emma’s life.”
“I want to get to know my daughter. How is that disruptive?”
“The disruption will come when you disappear from her life as abruptly as you appeared in it.”
She spoke with such conviction he guessed it was likely that she’d grown up with a father who was a transitory presence, too. He knew he had no hope of defending himself against her personal demons, so he only said, “Maybe we should continue this conversation tomorrow.”
“Why?”
“Because I just got home last night, I read Olivia’s letter this morning, then drove from Trenton to Syracuse to Pinehurst, all the while trying to get my head around the fact that I have a fourteen-month-old child I didn’t know anything about before today.”
“I thought you’d be going back to New Jersey tomorrow, if not sooner.”
“You mean you wished I was.”
She didn’t deny it.
“I’m not going anywhere until we figure this out,” he assured her.
“Unless duty calls,” she guessed.
“I have almost two months.”
But the skepticism in her eyes warned that she knew it was a promise he couldn’t make and confirmed that Paige’s apparent disapproval of his career was about more than the possibility of his deployment interfering with his ability to get to know Emma.
“Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said.
“What time is good?”
“Not oh-five-hundred,” she warned.
He smiled. “How about oh-nine-hundred?”
“A much more civilized hour.”
Zach wished her a good-night and made his way to the door.
His first meeting with Paige Wilder hadn’t gone as well as he’d hoped. But nothing had gone quite as he’d expected since his plane had touched down at McGuire Air Force Base twenty-eight hours earlier. From the shocking news revealed by Olivia’s letter to his unexpected and undeniable reaction to Paige Wilder, his life was suddenly FUBAR.
Yet, as he made his way to his SUV, he realized he was whistling and already looking forward to tomorrow.
Zach had spotted a couple of hotels on Main Street when he’d driven through town earlier, so he started to retrace his route, figuring he would check into the first one that he came across. He found “Hadfield House—A Bed-and-Breakfast” first. The sign outside promised private baths and hot breakfasts, but Zach only cared that there was an empty bed because he was too exhausted to go much farther.
Thankfully he always traveled with a duffel bag packed with a change of clothes and some basic toiletries—he certainly hadn’t planned on staying overnight. He hadn’t planned on being gone more than a few hours—just long enough to make the trip into Syracuse, talk to Olivia, demand an explanation for the letter and her silence, and try to figure out what the hell they were supposed to do now.
The news that Olivia was dead had been as much a shock as her revelation about the baby. And although he grieved the death of the vibrant young woman, he was also frustrated by the realization that he wouldn’t ever have the opportunity to confront her and demand answers to the questions that crowded his mind.
Early that morning, when he’d read Olivia’s letter—and reread it over and over again, as if doing so might somehow change the words that were written—he’d tried to call her, but both her home and cell numbers were out of service. At the time, he’d been more annoyed than concerned by the realization, but he’d decided that the conversation they needed to have should be face-to-face, and he’d driven to the apartment building she’d lived in while they were dating.
When he got there, he found that her name was no longer on the tenant directory and his inquiries of the landlord only revealed that she no longer lived there. His next stop was the law firm where