So why did she feel like that lost twenty-year-old kid again?
“I’m in love with Duane.” She couldn’t believe she’d said that. Her feelings for him were her business. And his.
“Oh!” If Annie was hurt by the fact that Sophie hadn’t confessed about her love life, she didn’t let it show. “And he just wants to be friends? Did you tell him how you feel? I’d find it hard to believe that he doesn’t love you back.” As though everyone would have to love Sophie.
“He says he loves me.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“Problems,” Sophie said. “Plural.” She hesitated. Speaking about Duane felt wrong. Maybe even disloyal. Duane and Annie occupied two completely separate parts of her life.
“Soph?”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You’re in danger of falling back into a huge psychological health risk.” Annie’s voice was brisk. Firm. “Talk or you could die.”
Sophie couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. And grew larger as Annie grinned, as well.
“I never claimed to be undramatic,” she said.
“And exaggerative.”
“That, too. But the point is—”
“I got the point. I already had it. And you’re right. I’m apparently not handling things as successfully as I thought I was.”
Or maybe they’d escalated to the stage that something had to be done. Which might be what was scaring her. If she and Duane couldn’t continue as they had, where did that leave them?
Annie’s smile faded and she leaned across the cleared table. “Tell me what’s going on.”
Taking a deep breath, Sophie glanced up. “Duane’s forty-six.”
“Oh,” Annie said again. A little less enthusiastically this time.
“That’s almost twenty years older than us.”
“I might have a degree in dance, but I do know how to add.”
“He’s old enough to be my father.”
“I get that. How’s that working out for you?”
Sophie hadn’t given a hoot about his age, hadn’t ever felt the difference in their ages. Until recently. “It hasn’t been a problem.”
“I’m not surprised about that,” Annie said. “You aren’t one to get caught up in the status quo. You’ve lived your whole life outside the stereotypical box. So, do you two ever struggle to find things to talk about? Or to find common ground in how you feel about issues?”
“Never.” If anything, the opposite was true. They seemed to view the world as one. They often talked long into the night, leaving them both struggling to get through work the next day. They talked about life and the world. About society and family. And faith. About anything except their other relationships.
Duane had never even heard of Annie.
“How do you feel when you’re with him?”
Sophie pictured Duane sitting on the edge of her bed, putting on his shoes. “Comfortable,” she said. Then, seeing him at her front door, smiling as he said hello, she added, “And energized at the same time. It’s weird, really. It’s like excited peace. If that makes any sense.”
“It sounds like love to me.” Annie pushed her glass aside. “Sophie, you know more than most that sometimes life creates its own definitions,” she said, her voice intense. “Not too many girls celebrate each birthday with a different father.”
Stepfather, Sophie clarified silently. And it hadn’t been every year—sometimes the divorces took longer than expected. Still, it had been often enough.
Duane didn’t know about that, either.
“Nor do they have to be savvy enough to ward off advances from the father in residence by the time they’re thirteen.”
Though she shuddered, Sophie couldn’t let herself dwell on the past. She’d forgiven her mother for her weaknesses a long time ago. And moved on.
Now her father—the real one, the man who’d left before she’d even been old enough to remember him—was another story. Forgiving him was harder. Only a jerk would abandon an innocent child to a whore.
Or maybe it was easier for her to blame a nameless, faceless entity.
“In some ways, you were raising a child—yourself—when you were a child,” Annie continued more softly. “Which puts your maturity on more of an equal level with Duane than your ages would imply.”
She was right. In some ways.
“But you knew all this, didn’t you? Or you wouldn’t have gotten involved with him to begin with.”
Sophie nodded. “Our age difference is only one of many things that are wrong.”
Eyes narrowed, Annie sat back. “He’s not married, is he?”
“No.” Though Sophie couldn’t blame Annie for asking. “He was divorced years ago. Long before I met him.”
“Any kids who hate you because you’re closer to their age than his?”
“Nope. No kids.”
“He’s not an alcoholic, is he? Or abusive?”
“Of course not. Duane’s the most upstanding citizen I’ve ever met. And that’s a big part of the problem.”
“Because he’s a great guy?”
“He’s too good for me.”
“Bullsh—crap.” Red blotches stood out on Annie’s scrubbed cheeks.
“Or, rather, I’m not good enough for him.”
“Stop it. Right now. What’s gotten into you, girl? This isn’t the Sophie I know. The one who had the courage to look life straight in the eye, take it on and win. There isn’t a man alive who’s too good for you.”
Two years ago, while she’d still been celibate, Sophie would have agreed. Eight years ago, she’d have known the words for the lie they’d have been.
“Maybe not, if he were just a man. Trouble is, Duane’s so much more than that.” And before Annie could interject with another diatribe assuring Sophie that no man was more than any other—a reassurance she would love to hear, but that would net nothing—she continued, “He’s running for public office, Annie. For the state senate. He’s got so much energy. So many ideas. He’s smart and savvy, openminded without being easily led. And most important, he’s honest. Arizona—this country—needs him. And he’s a shoo-in to win.”
She’d never met any of his friends. Didn’t know many of their names. She’d never been to the condominium he owned. Or to his law office.
But she knew about his politics.
“And you think you’re somehow going to hurt his chances?”
“I know I would.”
“How so? Because of the age difference?”
“That’s part of it. How responsible is he going to look, at forty-six, squiring around a twentysomething blonde? One who’s involved in the theater, no less? It’s the typical midlife crisis. If nothing else, he’d lose the votes of all the middleaged women who’ve lost their husbands to younger wives.”
“But then, if you’re going on that theory, he might gain votes from all of the men who understand, right?”
“Only