“What about you? Have you moved back to Texas for good?”
“No. I took family leave to help my mother. I’m an event planner for a large resort in Denver. I have eight weeks, and then we’re going back.”
“Eight weeks?” He popped his knuckles. “I have eight weeks to get to know her before you leave.”
Nodding was all she could manage.
He leaned back, one arm draped across the empty chair next to his. The silky blue shirt pulled taut across his shoulders. He studied her, those intense gray eyes making her look away. She took in the boats. There were the normal charters and sailboats, but at the very end there was a new addition. A huge, old-fashioned ship bobbed in the water.
There had to be something safe she could talk about. “Is that a pirate ship?”
“Yeah. It’s new. I’ve been out on it a few times. It’s fun to watch it go by when I’m eating dinner on our deck at home.”
Biting the inside of her lip, she shut her eyes. The little beachfront cottage they had bought in the first months of their marriage.
It was on the opposite side of town. Her parents had given them the down payment to the fixer-upper. She had loved that place. “Our deck? I thought the house was sold in the divorce.”
“They didn’t tell you anything, did they?” This time his look of disgust wasn’t directed at her.
“No. They thought it would be easier for me.” Why was she suddenly afraid to hear what had happened to their little home? They had worked so hard together to restore the beach cottage until it was just the way she wanted it.
“Originally, they told me to sell it.” He shrugged. “I wanted to keep it. We had put so much sweat equity into it. It was the first time ever I had a real home.” He took a drink of his lemonade. “It looked like I was going to lose again. I didn’t have the money to buy you out.” His fingers ran along the braided leather bracelet he wore on his left wrist. “Then the hurricane hit. There was a great deal of damage. We wouldn’t have been able to sell anytime soon, so I made an offer to buy your half at a discount. My cousin Xavier helped me out. I still live there.”
She wasn’t sure why the idea of him fighting for their house made her heart flutter, but she needed to move on to other thoughts. “Were you able to rebuild?”
“I discovered that I have a skill for rebuilding.”
She turned her attention to the busy restaurant. “You always enjoyed being out on the water. You talked about owning your own fishing boats.”
He looked away and waved to some people on a boat gliding by. “I talked to my lawyer about child support. She’s going to do some research and figure out how much I owe you.”
“What?” The change of subject startled her. “No. I don’t want your money. I’m fine.”
His attention returned to her. Now his eyes were a steel gray. “It’s not for you. I’m not a deadbeat dad.”
“Elijah. You don’t—”
His fist clenched. “I will not be my father.” He took a deep breath and relaxed into his chair. “Buy her shoes or a pony or put it aside for college. I don’t want her to ever think I didn’t support her.” He pulled a card out of his shirt pocket where he had slipped the pictures. “Here’s my lawyer’s information. She’ll set up payment. Whatever is easier for you.”
She nodded, but her stomach turned. If he was paying child support, he’d start thinking he could have more say in Rosemarie’s life. She wasn’t ready to share her.
An awkward silence fell between them. When they had first met, talking had been so easy. They would stay on the beach late into the night discussing family, horses, the plans he had for the ranch, the boats he wanted to buy.
Sometimes they just talked about silly things that didn’t matter. All that counted was that they were together. He was only two years older, but she had been eighteen. The world had revolved around him and he owned it all. She never could figure out what he had seen in that shy, clumsy girl.
Leaning on his elbows and lacing his fingers together, he stared straight at her. “I’m really trying to understand. I know I scared you, but how could you keep her from me for so long?” The hard lines on his face and the white in his knuckles betrayed the anger he was holding in.
She shifted in her seat and looked away. It was hard to forget how strong her love for him had been in the early days. Then, a few months into their marriage, the drinking had started. That’s what she needed to remember. “You had become too unpredictable.”
“You didn’t even give me a chance.” His voice was low and harsh.
“I tried to help. When you had a difficult time with my parents or your uncle, I tried to intervene, but I know now that I only made it worse.”
She had been so sheltered, and it had shocked her to see at firsthand how ugly people could be to the ones they loved. Elijah’s uncle Frank had been a cruel, violent man who had no problem hitting someone small or weaker. The people he should have protected.
She shook her head. “I didn’t have the life experience to help you. I couldn’t imagine being abandoned by a mother and abused by an uncle. When it got worse, you started stumbling home hours after dinner. The one person I would have turned to for help was the one I was afraid for. I didn’t know how to get you to stop drinking.”
He grunted.
She knew Elijah had been suffering, but the more she had tried to help him, the worse the problems grew.
Looking down, she captured her hands and held them still. Her napkin was now an organized pile of neat shreds.
“The night I was going to tell you I was pregnant was the night you really seemed out of control. I thought about all the horror stories I’d heard about your uncle and the abuse. It overwhelmed me. I was scared of you.” The cold seeped through her skin.
“I’m not my uncle.” His voice was hard.
She wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince her or himself.
If Elijah was truly sober, then she owed it to her daughter to let her know him. But it didn’t mean she had to trust him.
He pulled out the pictures again.
With his attention on the photos, she had the luxury of studying him. His golden skin looked darker, but he had lighter streaks in his hair. The stubble from this afternoon was gone, leaving his skin smooth. Had he shaved for her?
With a heavy sigh, he looked up at the night sky. The string of white party lights highlighted his features. “I don’t even know where to start. We had a baby. I still can’t believe you left without telling me.” Lowering his head, he stared straight at her.
Gripping the edge of the wooden seat, she forced herself to sit still. Despite the anger that radiated from him, his body language told her he was in control.
He had a right to be upset, but she couldn’t back down. “The minute I found out I was pregnant, that baby became the most important person in my world.” She allowed her brain to take her back to that night.
She would not regret her decision. “You were out of control. Each night was getting worse. I was waiting up later and later. When you finally came home, it was an hour of yelling and ranting before you passed out. The violence was escalating. That last night I was so scared.”
“I never hurt you.” His lips tightened as his hard jaw flexed. “Did I?”
He looked down, but not before she had seen anger mixed with loathing. And something else. Doubt?
She sat back. “Not physically.”