Mandi closed the journal. She had no more tears. Instead, she suddenly felt empty and cold. She’d never known anyone to exude confidence like her grandmother. Nana had been her rock. Yet, these two entries mentioned failure and loss. They were tinged with disappointment. Why hadn’t she written about the good times, when Mandi was growing up? Had she been too busy helping to raise her? Did she only write about bad times? If so, that made Mandi wonder even more what her secrets were and where the first journal was hidden. Maybe it had answers. As for Mandi’s finding success, she hoped Nana had seen that happen over the past couple of years. Maybe that’s why she hadn’t written another entry. All was good and she felt Mandi had picked up the pieces of her life and was on the right track. She had told Mandi, during her last visit to New York, that she was proud of her.
Mandi shut the drawer and quickly rummaged through the opposite nightstand, top shelf in the small closet and dresser drawers. The other journal wasn’t in the room, but she’d find it. Not this minute—for all the hours she’d spent trying to sleep, her body and mind felt wrung dry—but she would probably find it while sorting through Nana’s belongings. She turned off the light.
“Nana, if you can hear me now, know that you didn’t fail. You were always amazing and so important to me. I won’t fail you. I’ll prove you did everything right. I will be strong and I’ll continue to prove I can be successful. I promise.”
She would. As soon as she wrapped things up in Turtleback, she was more determined than ever to put all her drive and energy into her new job She’d make that advertising company wish they could clone her. She’d make other companies in New York wish they could have her. She’d channel her grandmother’s strength and show the world what she could do.
Her stomach growled and she pressed her hand against it. She didn’t actually have an appetite, but maybe the lack of food had something to do with how weak she felt.
She walked over to the window and peered out. The beach was dark and quiet with nothing moving but the moonlight skipping on the water. She closed the blinds and went to the kitchen. Maybe a cup of tea would be enough to shut her stomach up and open up her appetite. And going through emails might get her mind off things.
She turned on the kitchen light, set the water to boil and checked messages on her phone while her laptop booted up on the breakfast table. A few messages were from new acquaintances at work letting her know about where they were planning to meet for Friday night happy hour. She ignored them. One was from Lana, her college apartment roommate and friend sending her sympathy from New York. She’d met her through the same master’s program. Mandi sent her a quick reply. She scrolled down and almost missed the one from a name she recognized as Nana’s lawyer and old friend.
She had forgotten all about that part of dealing with a loved one’s passing. She was supposed to meet him this morning at nine regarding Nana’s will. He was confirming the time. She’d be there, but she dreaded it. Hearing Joel read off Nana’s will would only grind in the reality that had hit her today at the funeral.
She stared at the message for a second. Nana’s will. She knew she would have to help sort through her grandmother’s personal items, but in her mind, she pictured the house and everything in it as staying the same forever. But for what? Her father? He’d likely inherit it, but he had his own place on the sound side and never really cared for the cottage. He claimed that it was a money pit in need of too much restoration and repairs, especially after hurricanes. True, the salty air and frequent storms had weathered the place and it needed constant upkeep, like most homes along the Outer Banks, but it had charm and told a story, like the lines on the face of someone who’d experienced more than their share of life. Someone like Nana.
But Mandi wouldn’t be able to argue with her dad if he wanted to sell it. He never listened to her anyway. She certainly couldn’t care for it herself, not just financially in terms of repairs—she was still new at her job and had tons of college debt to pay—but logistically, too. She wouldn’t be around. A sadness enveloped her. This cottage held a lot of memories. Memories that hadn’t been captured in Nana’s journal. Sometimes a person didn’t have a choice in life. Letting go was a part of living, wasn’t it? That was one lesson she’d learned in life, so far. And if she wanted to honor her grandmother’s wish and find success in life, she’d have to let go of this place, too. She closed the lawyer’s email and held the phone to her chest. She didn’t care what was in the will. It didn’t matter.
She didn’t want to gain anything from Nana’s death. She just wanted her back.
* * *
THE LAW OFFICE of Joel Burkitt occupied a space on the second story of what was the original Turtleback volunteer fire station. The station had been moved to a more accommodating space fifteen years ago, partially funded by the sale of the original. The ground floor housed a yoga studio that most people in town claimed stayed afloat only because Joel, who owned the building, was sweet on the instructor.
Mandi noticed her father’s car parked along the street in front of the yellow building. Joel hadn’t mentioned having them both show up together, although it made sense since Nana didn’t have any other family in town. Mandi figured Joel would just give her a copy of the will, review any mention of her in it, and that would be it. That’s what she’d hoped would happen. Nothing formal or staged like in the movies. She pulled up behind her dad’s car and went inside, noting the studio had only two students in it, currently in mountain poses. She climbed the steps to the Burkitt Law Office and knocked before entering.
“Mandi, thanks for joining us. I’m sorry that I didn’t catch you yesterday at the service,” Joel said, waving her in.
“No worries. Hi, Dad.” She shook Joel’s hand and sat on the empty chair next to her father.
“Mandi.” John nodded his welcome, then motioned around the room. “Hard to believe you could have been sharing this practice with Joel by now. A shame, really.”
“Seriously, Dad?” She couldn’t believe he was embarrassing her by bringing up the fact that she had refused to go to law school and, according to him, had thrown away an opportunity he’d set up for her to work with Burkitt and eventually take over his practice when he retired.
Joel cleared his throat.
“Law isn’t for everyone, John. And not everyone makes it in,” he said, barely raising a brow as he looked over at her dad. “Although, I’m sure if Mandi had wanted to and had applied, she would have been accepted.”
Wow. Had her dad been rejected from law school back in his day? Why hadn’t she heard about that? Did Nana know? Or had her son applied without telling her...in case he didn’t make it in. It would be just like him to go about things in a way that allowed him to cover up failure and save face. John dropped the subject. That said something.
Joel took a third chair from the corner of the room and placed it next to her. Mandi frowned. Her father uncrossed his legs.
“Is someone else joining us?” he asked, sitting straighter.
“Sorry if I kept you all waiting,” Gray said, as he entered the room without bothering to knock.
Neither Mandi nor John said anything. Joel greeted Grayson by his full name and motioned for him to sit. Why did Gray’s being here surprise her? Of course Nana would have left something for Gray to remember her by. She had treated him like family and he’d been good to her. Mandi would always be grateful that he had been a good neighbor to Nana and had kept an eye out for her. It was just that... Mandi hadn’t expected to see him today. Seeing him did things to her. It shook the ground beneath her feet. Gray’s eyes met hers and she quickly looked away and focused on Mr. Burkitt.
“What’s he doing here?” John asked, not bothering to mask his disapproval. Joel shot her father a professional smile.
“Everyone here is mentioned in the will and, although I had intended to meet with Dr. Zale separately,