But he had spent the night trying to envision the damage he might have done. He’d never meant to hurt her. The whole point of leaving it like it had ended was so that neither of them would get hurt. Or resentful. It had been an incredible two weeks. A Christmas fantasy, as she’d once termed it. He’d wanted it to stay that way. For both of them. Instead, he’d messed her up?
How?
She’d graduated. Had a job. She wouldn’t have gotten into drugs or alcohol. Not over a two-week romance. Not over him. The girl had survived the loss of her parents.
She was perfectly capable and comfortable with being alone in the world. Which was far more than he could ever see himself doing. The thought of not having his huge family in the background of his days was worse than any nightmare he’d ever had.
It was part of the reason he’d had to leave Lizzie behind. He couldn’t be Nolan Forte full-time. His family needed Nolan Fortune. A capable, responsible Nolan Fortune, not a guy who was letting something unreliable inside of him drive actions that would point his life in an unsuccessful direction. Not a guy who’d repeat his own mistake by getting involved with someone completely outside their world.
His family wasn’t the only entity that needed Nolan Fortune intact. He did, too. He was already less respected, being the baby boy of the family. He had to try harder, reach success faster, if he ever hoped to be an equal to his three older brothers.
He knocked a second time, hoping that maybe Carmela was wrong. Lizzie wasn’t there. Or messed up, either.
A click sounded on the lock. The knob turned. As if in slow motion Nolan registered the door opening, not breathing as he waited to see her.
“Nolan. Wow. It’s been a long time.”
He backed up a couple of steps as the woman who’d been haunting him for an entire year slid outside, pulling the door closed but not latched behind herself, so that she could push back inside at any second.
She looked...divine. Perfect. His Lizzie, completely real, scouring pad and all. She did her own cleaning, twice a week, he remembered. He’d tried to help, but she’d kept shooing him away so mostly he’d watched. He’d gotten away with wiping the bathroom mirror. The sooner they’d got the bathroom clean, the sooner they’d be together in the garden-size tub...
He was hard. On fire. Having to consciously restrain himself from reaching out to her with both arms.
“Carmela said I messed you up.” If he’d been anywhere near the vicinity of his right mind he’d never have spoken the words aloud.
The thought occurred to him that they could be in on this together. Messing with him. For whatever unknown reason.
The Lizzie he’d known would never have done that. But then, that was the whole point, wasn’t it? He’d only known her for two weeks. The same amount of time Austin had known his wife before he’d married her. And Kelly had turned out to be a gold-digging, divorced, in-debt daughter of jailed con artists, not the debutante she’d presented to him.
He’d never have thought Molly would turn on him, either, taking her brother’s side.
“Carmela?” Lizzie’s confused frown was damned convincing.
“Your roommate? She is still your roommate, right?” So far he was winning the battle with the hands in the front pockets of his jeans. They were staying put.
“Yes. When did you speak to her?”
“Last night.”
“You were here last night?” There was a slight squeak to her voice as she looked around, and then back at him. She was shivering.
It wasn’t all that cold. Sixty or so. She had on a T-shirt. The sun was shining. No need for him to offer her his jacket.
“No, I wasn’t here last night.” Was he really doing this? He had to get out of the craziness. He’d known better.
“So how did you talk to her last night?” Even as she asked, her eyes widened. “She went to the club.” She answered her own question.
He nodded.
The sudden stilling of everything about her, the sharpening of her gaze, struck him as extremely non-Lizzie. And that hint of fear he’d seen cross her expression? He had to have imagined that.
He might have had a fling with her and left, but he’d never, ever given her, or any other woman, any cause to fear him.
“What did she tell you?” The question was sharp, in a tone he’d never heard from her before.
“Nothing,” he said, his frustration growing. “Just that I’d messed you up and needed to come see you.”
The anger that flashed in her eyes wasn’t hard at all to decipher, though the origin of it was not quite so clear. Either he or Carmela were in for it, though.
“She had no business going to see you.”
Deciding the wisest course was to keep quiet until he could figure out what was going on, Nolan didn’t voice his agreement on that one.
“And that’s it?” she asked. “That’s all she said?”
He nodded. He told himself she looked okay, so he could go. Should go.
Instead, he stayed glued to the spot.
“Well, as you can see, I’m fine. I’m sorry she bothered you. You can go now.”
There. She confirmed it. Time to turn around and get back to his day. To walk aimlessly around the campus area and forget he’d ever known her.
Or see everything that reminded him of her and know that he’d made the right decision.
Maybe he should take a cab to the other side of the city and look at things he’d never seen before. Or, better yet, call home and get an update on all the drama he was missing. With six siblings, there always was some—a lot of times revolving around twenty-five-year-old Savannah. She was perhaps the smartest one of the bunch, but was way too beautiful for her own good, in Nolan’s opinion, and didn’t take kindly to being told no, which he knew well. Having been born just a year before her, Nolan was the one who’d taken flak the most often when his sister didn’t get her way.
“Please, Nolan, just go.”
Lizzie’s words, the honest pleading in them, brought him back fully to her doorstep. And the fact that he was still standing there.
“What did Carmela mean about you being messed up?” That’s why he couldn’t go. He was a gentleman and he had to know what was going on. To know his own culpability, or lack thereof, and take responsibility so that he could be completely free from what had turned out to be the most unfortunate incident in his life.
“I have no idea,” Lizzie said. “I was...hurt...when you left and I couldn’t get ahold of you. Maybe she wanted to give me a chance to chew you out. Maybe she thinks that would help. And, maybe for some, it would. I had no desire to hold on to any anger and I’m over it. Completely. As you can see, I’m fine.”
Yes, she’d already said that. And she was guarding her door like a member of the Secret Service. It occurred to him then that she might have someone inside. A man would be the most obvious guess.
He turned to go. “Well, let her know I stopped by, will you? So she doesn’t show up at the club again tonight ready to smash my grill.”
She nodded. He took another step toward the parking lot and his escape. “You look good.”
“I look like crap,” she said. “I’m cleaning...” Her voice broke off, and she glanced away, almost as though she was also remembering the time he’d helped her clean the bathroom. That had been a Saturday morning, as well.
“So...Carmela said you graduated and got a job.”
She