The poor kid had dealt with so many changes lately, and he didn’t blame her for balking at this one.
“Let’s go inside,” Billy said. “I won’t leave until you’re ready, okay?”
“Okay,” Poppy consented, then looked him over. “Your hat is dirty.”
Billy pulled his hat off his head and saw a few pieces of hay stuck to some stitching. He plucked them off and dropped his hat back onto his head.
“We good?” he asked.
“You’ll do,” Poppy replied, and Billy chuckled.
“It’ll be okay,” he assured her. “You’ll see.”
The hallways were buzzing with students, and Billy walked Poppy through the school, toward Grace’s classroom. Billy had gone to this school, and his memories were filled with frustration. Every year, the work got harder, and his reading remained a colossal struggle. Everyone else could read aloud and follow instructions, while he’d take half an hour to decipher two lines, and then forget what he’d managed to read. So he gave up and put his energy into coping—got other kids to help him do his work, groomed a cocky attitude, made nice with teaching assistants who helped him to keep up with the basics so that he could be pushed forward into the next grade.
The school repeatedly told his mom that he struggled with reading, but no one quite picked up on the fact that he couldn’t read. He’d thought that was a victory. Now he wasn’t so sure. If they’d figured it out when he was young enough, maybe someone could have helped him. But at the age of thirty, how was he supposed to admit to that?
Poppy’s classroom was at the far end of the school, next to the double doors, and as Billy and Poppy approached, he saw Grace helping a student hang up a backpack almost as big as the kid was.
“Good morning,” Billy said, and Grace looked up. Her soft chocolate waves were gathered back in a loose ponytail, and the first thing he noticed was the pink in her cheeks and the shine of her lip gloss. Grace had definitely changed over the last few years—she’d never been the type to wear makeup before. And there was something different about her clothes, too, although he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. She wore a pair of fitted dress pants and a loose pink blouse, with a belt cinched at her waist. She didn’t look like she was hiding in her clothes anymore. She stood out.
“Hi!” she said, rising to her feet. “Poppy, I have a hook all set up for you with your name. This is where you’ll hang your backpack and your coat and your snow pants—”
“We, uh, don’t have those yet,” Billy said. “I’ll pick some up tonight.”
“I do have an extra pair she can borrow,” Grace said. “She’ll need them for recess. We have a special nature walk today, too, so...”
“Thanks.” He nodded quickly. “And I’ll make sure she has her own for tomorrow.”
Billy already felt like he was falling behind as a dad. The other little girls were wearing matching outfits in pink and purple. He looked down at Poppy with her red-and-green sweater, the pink dress poking out the bottom, and he felt a wash of regret. He should have fought harder when she was getting dressed this morning. The kids were going to be cruel.
“You dressed yourself!” Grace said, looking down at Poppy with a big smile. “Didn’t you?”
“Yep,” Poppy said quietly.
“You look wonderful. I can always tell a kid who likes to choose her own clothes. That’s great!”
Billy looked at Grace uncertainly. Was it great?
“I should have put up a bigger fight about that,” he murmured, and Grace shook her head.
“They’re four. The others won’t notice. And when I see a kid who insists on choosing her own clothes, I know that she’s got a strong spirit. That’s a good thing, Billy.”
“I hope so.”
“Relax. It’ll be fine.” Grace put her hands on her hips and regarded him for a moment. “Are you going to stay for a few minutes, or leave now?”
Billy looked down at Poppy and saw she was glancing nervously at the other kids. “You ready for me to go to work, Poppy?” he asked quietly.
“Nope,” she said with a shake of her head. “I don’t know these people.”
Grace smiled. “Your dad can stay for a little bit until you feel better, Poppy. Let’s go inside and I’ll introduce you to the other kids. Okay?”
Grace was different now, he realized. Maybe it was that she was the sun and the moon to a roomful of four-year-olds, but it leant her a certain air of confidence that she hadn’t had in years past. He hadn’t expected her to be any different from the pal he remembered when he heard that Grace Beverly was teaching this class, but his memories of her weren’t like this. Grace had blossomed.
As she started the day with her students, Billy found one adult-size chair next to a window and took a seat. Grace walked Poppy around the room, introducing her to the students individually and keeping her hand in the little girl’s the entire time. Poppy looked up at Grace with a flicker of a smile and big, adoring eyes. It looked to Billy like Grace was winning Poppy over.
“Good morning, friends,” Grace said. “We have a new friend joining us today. Her name is Poppy, and I already like her! Don’t you? Now, let’s all come to the story carpet, and we’ll get ready for the daily announcements and the pledge of allegiance.”
The kids spun in their places, dug toes into the carpet and a couple sat down during the pledge of allegiance. Grace went around, gently tugging them back to their feet and putting small hands over their chests. As she helped the children into the proper, respectful position, she was saying the words aloud with the principal over the loudspeaker.
“...and to the republic for which it stands. One nation under God, indivisible...”
Along the wall under the window, where Billy sat, there were letters of the alphabet on separate laminated sheets. Q. R. S. T. Large letters, separated by inches of wall, made the letters distinct and different in his mind. They didn’t jumble up like they did on a page, and Billy eyed them for a moment, mildly intrigued by his ability to differentiate them.
He understood the basic concept of letters, sounds and the combination turning into words. He looked around at the kids as Grace sat down in front of a large picture graph with different weather symbols on it.
“This morning is sunny,” Grace was saying. “Who can find the picture that tells us that it’s sunny?”
Most of these children wouldn’t even know their alphabets yet, but they would be introduced to the basics this year. An idea was forming itself in his mind. He wasn’t sure if he was crazy to even be considering this, but maybe he could start over.
Billy had given up on school and put his energy into avoiding the embarrassment. But maybe as his daughter learned, he could catch up on a few basics he’d missed, too. Maybe, just maybe, he could learn to read.
Billy pulled off his hat and looked down at it for a moment, trying to hide any expression that might be betraying his thoughts right now. He hadn’t changed in his desire to hide his illiteracy, but if he could really buckle down and learn how to read at long last...
It could change everything! He could apply for higher positions at the ranch. He’d figured he’d never be anything more than regular labor, but if he could read, he might be able to work his way up to ranch manager eventually. A whole new world would open up to him, a world of instructions, information and upward mobility.
And at the end of a long day, he could sit down with Poppy and he could read her a book. Instead of pretending that he was teasing her, making up stories that only frustrated her because she wanted