He’d really thought that this time she’d go through with it.
But maybe that just meant he didn’t know Zoey as well as he’d thought he did.
‘Zoey. Tell me. What changed in the last two weeks?’ he asked.
* * *
What always changes? Every damn time.
Zoey sighed as she tried to find the words. Find the reasons. How could she explain it to him when it didn’t even make sense to her? It wasn’t one thing that had changed. It was a hundred tiny things she’d finally noticed, all building on each other.
‘Nothing. And everything.’ She shook her head to try and clear the whirlwind of thoughts that seemed to have filled it since she arrived on the island. ‘I really thought I could go through with it this time, Ash. That I could make it work. But then we landed here a few days ago to get everything ready for the wedding...and everything started feeling wrong.’ Pit of her stomach wrong. Instincts telling her to run wrong.
She’d always trusted her instincts. Even when they led her into another engagement, or away from another wedding. At the time, they always seemed right.
‘Everything?’
No. That wasn’t fair to David. He was a good man. She loved him. Had loved him. One or the other.
‘Well, little things, I guess. Like suddenly he wasn’t happy with the ceremony plan and wanted to change it—even though it was what we’d both agreed months ago.’
‘Last-minute nerves?’ Ash suggested.
‘Probably. But then I realised, all the changes he wanted to make, they involved me being with him all the time. Every single second. Even tonight, even though he knows my mother will freak out about it being bad luck.’ And even though they were still doing the stupid abstinence thing the ‘engagement counsellor’ he’d hired had insisted on. Zoey hadn’t even realised that engagement counsellor was an actual job, but David had been adamant that he wasn’t taking any chances. Whatever the counsellor had suggested, he’d instantly implemented. Including the no sex for six weeks before the wedding rule.
No wonder they were both so tetchy and stressed.
‘And why do you think that’s bothering you so much?’ Ash asked, sounding eerily like the relationship psychologist her ex-boss had introduced her to after her third near miss with marriage.
Really, with all these marriage professionals in her life Zoey would think she’d have the mental strength and tools to get through an actual wedding by now.
Of course, getting engaged to said relationship psychologist then calling it off three days before the wedding probably didn’t help.
But she was getting side-tracked. This wasn’t about past mistakes. It was about the one she might be about to make. Whichever way she jumped.
‘Because...’ Why was it bothering her? She was marrying the guy, so why would spending time together be a problem?
Then she realised. The reason behind that feeling in the pit of her stomach.
Ash had already told her, but she hadn’t been listening. It was why she was on this stupid island in the first place.
‘Because he’s not doing it because he wants to be close to me. He’s doing it because he wants to stop me running away.’ God, he’d even planned the wedding for unfashionably early in the day to give her less time to bolt.
Zoey bit the inside of her cheek and stared down at her perfectly pedicured toenails. A waste of polish, really, if she didn’t go through with the wedding. Not to mention all the time, money and energy that had gone into the planning. David might not need to worry about money right now—the company wasn’t doing that badly—but Zoey had put her meagre savings on the line again for her dress and shoes, hair, beauty and all the rest. She couldn’t ask her parents to pay for anything again. Not after all the times before. Even if they did seem strangely more enthusiastic about her marrying David than they had about anyone she’d been engaged to before.
She’d skipped a hen night this time—with Grace gone, it felt wrong anyway—and she’d only invited the hardcore friends and family who could make it through another one of her maybe-weddings. Ash, her aunt and uncle, a couple of cousins who were also friends. But David and his parents had invited everyone. She’d be letting a lot of people down.
But...
‘It hurts to know he doesn’t trust you.’ Ash said the words softly, and for a moment Zoey could almost imagine that it was Grace, putting Zoey’s own thoughts into words better than she ever could, just like she had since they were children.
Every time Zoey had shown up on Grace’s doorstep as kids, with some story ready about why they urgently needed to hang out, Grace had just tilted her head and said, ‘They’re fighting again, right? Come in, come in.’ Then they’d sat eating cookies or watching movies or anything to distract Zoey from what was going on at home.
‘My home is your home,’ Grace had told her when Zoey had run away at sixteen. And again at seventeen. Then she’d made sure they ended up at the same university, so Zoey wouldn’t be alone when her parents flaked on her again, because they were too busy with their own misery.
Zoey had done what she could to keep her relationship with her parents going, but she’d always known that Grace was her real family. And Ash, once it became clear that he and Grace were a package deal.
She’d had visions of being part of their family for life. Christmases, birthdays. She’d be Auntie Zoey to their kids... She swallowed hard at the memory, knowing how close that one had been to coming true.
Before the crash. Before they all lost Grace for good, and the world had grown a little colder.
Zoey let her head fall to Ash’s shoulder, taking comfort from the arm he placed around her. He might not be Grace, but he was still family.
And right now she couldn’t afford to dwell in the past. She had to decide what to do about David.
‘I know I’m a flight risk. I know I have form. And I know I’m proving him right at this very moment. It’s just...if David doesn’t trust me now, what if he doesn’t ever? What if he’s always just waiting for me to run? I can’t live like that.’
‘Nor should you,’ Ash said. ‘I can understand his reasons, but I can understand yours too.’
She looked up at him, into those strange, light blue eyes that stood out so clearly against his pale skin and black hair. ‘So what do I do?’
‘Well, that’s up to you. Do you love him enough to convince him? Do you love him enough to take a chance? I mean, he obviously knew that asking you to marry him was risky. And, whatever steps he’s been taking this week to make sure it happens, he was only doing it to make sure you go through with it.’
Zoey smiled. Although Ash was obviously trying to be fair to both sides of the story, playing devil’s advocate, she could hear his distaste for David’s methods in his tone.
Suddenly, they heard a voice in the corridor outside their store cupboard. ‘Zoey? Come on, Zo, this isn’t funny. My dad’s waiting to give his speech. Where are you?’
‘Decision time,’ Ash whispered. ‘What do you want to do?’
All at once a feeling of rightness settled over her.
‘Get me out of here, Ash.’