He was saved from having to answer by the arrival of the housekeeper announcing dinner was ready. Blake lingered in the living room while the other three made their way into the dining room. Blake wasn’t surprised to see that Jeanne had placed him next to Victoria to suit her matchmaking scheme.
His sister wasn’t behaving as if she’d listened when he told her he intended to put his son’s needs first. Of course, he wasn’t exactly walking the walk either. Kissing Bella this afternoon had been a mistake. There was no denying he wanted her, but she was far too determined to remain childless. Getting involved with her was contrary to everything he wanted for Drew. Better to heed her warning. Pursuing her would complicate things between them and he needed their relationship to be trouble free, for Drew’s sake.
That decided, he returned his attention to the dinner conversation, ignoring the burn of disappointment in his gut.
* * *
Bella stared down at a sleeping Drew, unable to obey the logical side of her brain that told her to grab the baby monitor and go. She needed to remember that Drew was nothing more than a job. She was his nanny. This tightness in her chest would go away the instant she accepted that Drew belonged to Blake and only Blake. She had no claim on him. No reason to ache for all the firsts she’d already missed and all the ones still to come that she wouldn’t get to experience.
Damn Blake. It was all his fault. First he’d tracked her down. Then he’d offered her the financial means to help her sister and not feel guilty for spending money on a fabulous trip to the Caribbean. If not for him, she might be broke and resentful, but she’d be blissfully free of the emotional chaos churning in her gut. Free of the anxiety that came with being responsible for another human being.
Reaching down, she grazed her knuckles across Drew’s soft cheek. This afternoon when he’d been stung, she’d longed to take on his pain as her own. She hadn’t been able to separate herself from his hurt the way she did when something harmed her brothers and sisters. It was as if despite being apart for nine months, she and Drew shared a bond. He would always be hers no matter how many miles separated them.
It was a disquieting thought that she wished she could unthink.
Her phone buzzed in her back pocket, alerting her that a text had come in. She suspected that it was Blake checking in again, so relief surged through her when she saw Deidre’s name on the display. Bella exited the nursery, pulling the door closed behind her, and went to sit on the steps that descended toward the darkened first floor. She keyed up her friend’s message and grimaced at the video of Deidre dancing with three guys.
There’s too many gorgeous guys for me to keep happy all by myself.
That could be her. Young, single and ready to break hearts all over town. No responsibilities. No worries. Just fun.
Bella texted her friend back.
I’ve seen you in action and have faith that you can do it.
A minute later her phone rang.
“We miss you.” Deidre’s fervent voice sounded loud in the still house as she made it sound like Bella had been gone for weeks instead of hours.
“I miss you, too.”
“How are things there?” From the background noise, it sounded like Deidre was in the ladies’ room.
Bella waffled over how much to tell her friend and finally decided to ease into it. “A little weird.”
“Weird how?”
“You were right about Blake.”
“Aha!” Deidre crowed. A second later her voice quieted. Tension gathered in her tone. “What do you mean I was right?”
“He kissed me.” A stunned silence followed Bella’s declaration. With her nerves frayed by too much self-doubt, Bella wished her friend would say something. She could really use Deidre’s sensible council. “Did you hear me?”
“I did. I’m just trying to figure out how to respond.” Another pause. “Yippee?”
“No, not yippee,” Bella shot back. “Yikes.”
Deidre laughed. “Yikes, indeed. Boy, does he work fast. What sort of a kiss was it?”
“What do you mean, what sort of a kiss?”
“Friendly? Some people kiss on the lips to say hello or goodbye. Was it that sort of a kiss?”
Despite the hysteria bubbling up, Bella appreciated her roommate’s matter-of-fact way of assessing the situation.
“No. It was not a friendly kiss.”
“Juicy, then.” Deidre’s voice barely missed sounding like a triumphant whoop. “Did he rock your world?”
The question aroused an untimely urge to giggle. “He does that just by walking in the room.”
“You’ve got it worse than I thought.”
“So much worse.” Bella set her forehead on her knees and cradled the phone against her ear. “I keep telling myself it was just a one-time thing and it won’t happen again.”
“Is that what you believe?”
“No.” Hot flashes surged through Bella’s body. “What should I do?”
“You’re asking the wrong girl. I’d sleep with him in a New York minute. He’s gorgeous and sexy. Nothing wrong with two single people enjoying each other’s company. But that’s me. What do you want to do?”
Bella had never been able to cultivate Deidre’s casual attitude toward sex. As much as she’d love to be a sophisticated woman taking large bites out of the Big Apple, in truth, she was still a girl who’d grown up on a farm in Iowa. Granted, she didn’t want to get married and start a family, but that didn’t mean that she could see herself jumping into bed with someone where there was no possibility of a future.
“What I want to do goes against my nature.”
“Bella, you’ve been stuck on this guy way too long. Offer him a couple months of uncomplicated sex and get him out of your system.” Voices called Deidre’s name from somewhere close by. “I have to go. Call me tomorrow and we’ll talk more about this.”
“I will. Have fun tonight.”
Without Deidre’s vibrant voice filling her ear, Bella’s anxiety returned in spades. It was crazy to contemplate what could happen with Blake. She’d already decided against repeating this afternoon’s kiss. It would be easier on her heart that way.
Beside her Drew’s baby monitor picked up a soft cry. Blake had warned her that he’d been having trouble staying asleep lately and she wondered at the source of his restlessness. Was he cutting new teeth? The discomfort of that had kept her youngest sister up nights for two solid months.
Drew quieted before Bella could stand. Ears keyed to the tiniest noise, she heard the sound of approaching footsteps from below. Blake was back earlier than she expected. And he was humming. What had put him in such a good mood?
“How was your evening?” she asked as he rounded the landing.
His eyes lit up as he spied her sitting on the steps. “Waiting up for me?”
“No.” The last thing she needed was for him to think she’d spent the evening missing him. “I just got off the phone with my friend. She couldn’t wait to tell me how much fun she was having at this new club.”
Blake stretched out on the stair beside her. His knee bumped her thigh. The casual contact