“I’m sorry about that,” Jasper said to her. “She’ll warm up to you eventually.”
“It’s all right.” Emma Jane stared at the blankets on the bed, not meeting his gaze. “I’m sure it must be hard for her to have you married to someone like me. I’m not exactly the society darling she’d hoped for.”
Her words shamed him. Not because she was trying to, but because that’s what Emma Jane seemed to truly believe. He thought back to the way the women had teased her at the church picnic, how Flora Montgomery had tried to persuade him not to speak to her because of the scandal surrounding her father’s gambling losses. Even at their wedding, which was supposed to quiet all the talk about Emma Jane’s fall from grace, he’d heard the whispers disparaging her character.
Jasper knew none of it was true. He’d assumed everyone else would figure out the truth sooner or later, as well. But it hadn’t occurred to him that Emma Jane believed herself deserving of the censure.
“Any man would be honored to be married to someone like you,” Jasper said gruffly.
Emma Jane finally met his eyes. “You aren’t.”
He’d forgotten how direct she could be. When they first spoke at the church picnic, he’d admired that about her. Even respected the fact that she’d come right out and said that if he married her, it would solve her problems. But that was before she’d tricked him into compromising her. Before she’d demonstrated her lack of trust in him.
“No man wants to be made a fool of.”
He hated the way she shrank back at his words. Emma Jane wanted to be friends and recapture what they’d had before they’d been forced to marry. But how could they get past it, when she had no idea what she’d stolen from him?
A chance to fall in love. To have a loving home. A family of his own. Perhaps he and Emma Jane could get to a place where they could find a way to have children. But there’d never be the same loving glances he saw Will and Mary exchange. He’d never know what it was like to have someone see all the parts of him and love him, really love him, for who he was.
Maybe Jasper had been the fool. This whole mess had started because seeing Will again and meeting Emma Jane had made him want to be a better man. To be known for something other than the wealthy playboy who stole women’s hearts. He’d thought he wanted a life of substance instead of playing to society’s whims.
Yet here he was, stuck in a marriage of convenience because he’d tried to be the man of honor he wanted to be.
Tears rolled down Emma Jane’s cheeks, and he knew he should be sorry for them. Part of him was, but the other part of him still mourned the life he could never have.
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