“YOU CAN DO THIS.” It was a reassurance she kept repeating over and over to herself. And though she didn’t usually talk to herself in public, saying it out loud made her feel better.
Yeah, right.
Right now, standing here, all her bravado was fleeting as she stared up at the impressive entrance of the Cumberland Mills Memorial Hospital. The hospital where she’d done her first residency, before she’d left for her prestigious fellowship in Munich seven years ago.
Nothing had changed. She closed her eyes and took in the sweet, heady floral scent of the magnolia trees. It made her think of summers running barefoot on the lawn, of her father sitting in the swing on the wraparound porch strumming on his guitar while she played. A jangled memory of a man who’d left her and her mother a long time ago tied to the scent in the air.
She sighed and shook that thought out of her head. There was no room for those thoughts today. No room for memories.
Though that was difficult. Everywhere she went in Nashville she was reminded of the ghosts of her past. The choices she’d made and the hurt she’d left behind. Nashville haunted her, which was why she’d left. Why she’d planned to never come back.
Except here she was. Back at the beginning.
You’re here for Mama. You’re not starting over.
Still, coming back to the place she grew up felt like a second chance. As if karma was telling her she’d made all the wrong choices and was making her start all over again.
She had to remind herself that things were different. She was different. She was stronger. When she’d started here she was so unsure of herself that she had put on an air of confidence, built walls to keep people out. So much so she was considered an ice queen by some, while the seasoned surgeons thought she was too meek to be good at what she did.
Only one person had seen through all that.
Don’t think about him.
Vivian steeled her resolve and clutched the strap of her designer messenger bag. She was no longer that girl from the east side of Nashville, the girl from the wrong side of the tracks. She was now a world-class neurosurgeon and diagnostician.
* * *
She held her head up high and walked through the doors of Cumberland Mills, taking in the sights of one of the busiest and most affluent hospitals in Nashville.
Nothing had changed on the inside.
Like me.
“Dr. Maguire, it’s good to see you again.”
Vivian turned to see the Chief of Surgery, Dr. Isaac Brigham, walking toward her across the spacious atrium, the heart of the hospital. Other than a bit more gray in his ebony hair, Dr. Brigham still looked like how she remembered. When he’d been an Attending and she’d been a scared resident trying to melt into the background. How quickly she’d changed under his tutelage.
“Never forget you’re a shark. Always moving forward.” That was what Dr. Brigham taught her and she’d taken it to her heart when she’d decided to look forward and go to Germany.
Only today she didn’t feel so much like a shark, standing here at the beginning again.
Vivian took his hand and shook it. “So good to see you again, Dr. Brigham.” Only that was a lie. Dr. Brigham might have taught her to be a shark, might have been a good surgeon, but he was two-faced and stubborn. You didn’t want to get on his bad side.
It was trying for her to play nice with a man she found so annoying. A man she didn’t trust.
“It’s Isaac.” He had that plummy Belle Meade accent, affluent. So different from the accent she’d worked hard to get rid of. The one people looked down their noses at. Judging her as if she was trash and someone who didn’t belong.
She smiled. “I think that will be hard for me. I mean, you did set me on my path to that fellowship in Munich. You were my teacher and I was terrified of you.”
Isaac chuckled and crossed his arms. “Scare you? I’ve heard stories from your time in Munich. Have to say, I knew that you had it in you. Though I had moments of doubt. You were so quiet and shy. You barely spoke above a whisper back then.”
“I don’t whisper anymore.” Vivian smiled to herself, pleased that her reputation was preceding her, because she knew she had to build up a reputation here. She was after Dr. Brigham’s job. It was no secret that he was planning on retiring and most of the senior surgeons here had an advantage over her. They were known, they had a history. Most came from old Nashville money and she wasn’t a fool. She knew that would be an advantage to them and she was an unknown entity. Something she planned to change.
“Well, I’ll take you around our Neuro department and introduce you to your VIP patient.”
Vivian fell into step beside him. “VIP patient?”
He nodded. “Well, you have to get your feet wet here. Besides, I hear you’re the best diagnostician.”
“So they tell me,” she said. “Tell me about the case.”
“You’ll be working on the case with one of my most respected neurosurgeons. It’s a strange case and what better way to initiate your time here as our top diagnostician.”
“Most respected neurosurgeon” meant one thing to Vivian. Competition.
“Who is the VIP patient?”
“Country star Gary Trainer. He’s a rising star, but has been having the most curious neurological symptoms since he was rushed in two days ago.”
“Has he had an MRI?”
Isaac grinned. “Of course—as I said, he’s a VIP patient and his record label is very anxious to get him back on his tour.”
Of course.
Musicians were always eager to get back on the road. She’d heard her dad say that enough times.
“Stay longer, Hank. Please. Just a bit longer.”
“I can’t, Sandra. I need to be on the road. I have to make it. I will make it, just like Ray Castille. I will be as big as he is.”
Vivian laughed uneasily, trying to shake her father’s voice from her head. “Musicians.”
Isaac nodded and they got on an elevator, riding in silence until they got up to the top floor. The doors opened with a ding and they stepped off. “This is where our VIP patients stay while they’re inpatients here.”
Vivian didn’t respond. It made her stomach knot just a bit. Money talked here. There were times when she was a kid when they couldn’t get the help they needed. And she recalled the hours she and Mama had waited in an overcrowded, dingy ER.
Then there were the