“All right, then.” Taking a breath, Dan began again. “I’d just put in an extra-hard day. Walking into my cabin, I turned on the TV for some company—”
“So you live alone?”
Alone.
Each time Dan heard it, the word burned more and more of a hole in his gut. “Yeah, I do.”
“You never married?” Jamie asked.
Dan shook his head. “Nope.”
How could he marry? His heart was not his to give to anyone. It was already spoken for—even if the woman who it belonged to had no use for it.
When he hesitated, Jamie apologized.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to pry,” he told Dan. “Go on. You walked in, turned on the TV for company and then what?”
When he heard Jamie summarize the events he’d just told him, the words had this incredibly lonely ring to them. He knew he’d felt the same thing time and again, but he’d talked himself into living with it. He’d made himself believe that his life wasn’t as soul-draining as it really was. But now he knew the truth. That he was exceedingly lonely—and that he had made the right decision in coming home.
At least for now.
“And then I heard this voice,” Dan said, continuing with his narrative, “this voice that was filled with pride and love, talking about his triplets.”
“Wait,” Jamie said, stopping his brother. “You heard me on TV? You caught that program that Travis Dalton taped in town? You actually saw The Great Roundup?”
Dan smiled at the eager disbelief he heard in his brother’s voice. “I did.”
“But that segment was on more than a month ago.”
Dan merely nodded and said, “I know.”
“You’ve been here in Rust Creek Falls all this time?”
“No, I just got here,” Dan corrected. He wanted his brother to understand that it had been his cold feet that had kept him from coming. “You’re my first stop. Possibly my only stop because I don’t know where everyone else is, or even if they’re still in Montana.”
But Jamie was still having a hard time making sense out of what he was hearing. The brother he remembered, the one he had idolized, had never been someone to drag his feet.
“I don’t understand. If the show was on over a month ago, what took you so long to get here?”
Dan wasn’t about to lie or make up excuses. “It took me a month to get up the nerve to come and see you. I wasn’t sure if you’d even let me come in your front door, or if you’d take one look at me, slam the door in my face and tell me to go to hell.”
Jamie stared at him, an incredulous smile widening on his lips.
“You were afraid I’d reject you?” he asked.
Dan nodded. “Something like that.”
The idea was so outlandish it almost made Jamie laugh out loud. “You were afraid of your little brother?” he asked, unable to believe that Danny could be afraid of anyone, least of all him.
Dan made no attempt at excuses, or to brazen the situation out. He was long past that sort of thing as far as he was concerned.
“Yes,” Dan admitted, “I was. Because, as far as you were concerned, Luke, Bailey and I had run out on you and the girls. Left you at the mercy of a couple of cranky grandparents, neither of whom was ever going to be up for grandparent of the year. Left you and never tried to get in contact with you,” Dan concluded with a sigh.
For a moment, the stark, honest answer left Jamie speechless. And then he said, “Well, at least you’re not trying to sugarcoat any of it, I’ll give you that.”
“I can’t sugarcoat it,” Dan admitted. “I want you to know that I wanted to see you and the girls, wanted to get in contact with you.” He put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, anchoring him with the sincere look in his eyes. “Not a day went by in those years when I didn’t think about you.”
Jamie believed him. But he still had questions. “So if you felt that way, why didn’t you get in contact with any of us?”
“I didn’t want to disrupt your lives any more than they’d already been disrupted,” Dan told him with sincerity.
“You wouldn’t have disrupted them, you idiot,” Jamie cried. “You would have only made them better.”
Dan sighed again. “Yeah, well...” His voice trailed off. At the time, he’d been convinced he was doing the right thing.
And then, of course, there had been the guilt. That had all but paralyzed him. It had definitely kept him from returning.
Jamie took pity on him. “Water under the bridge,” he told Dan. “Just water under the bridge. What really matters is that you’re here now,” he said, sounding genuinely happy. “Makes my suffering through the taping of that program worth all the agony,” he added with a warm laugh. “Oh damn, where are my manners? Can I offer you something to eat or drink?”
“No, I’m fine,” Dan told him. “Just seeing you again after all this time is all I need.”
“Speaking of need,” Jamie said, “I need you to fill me in.”
“On what?”
“On what you’ve been doing these last twelve years,” Jamie said.
Dan blew out a long breath. He knew he owed Jamie that much. Still, going over that ground would bring up memories he wanted left buried and undisturbed.
He looked at Jamie, wondering where to start. “That, my brother, is a tall order.”
“Well,” Jamie said in response to the unreadable expression on his brother’s face, “think of it as the price you have to pay if you want to get to meet your nephews and niece.”
The triplets, Dan thought. He’d almost forgotten about them.
“Okay,” he replied gamely, “if you’re really serious.”
Jamie managed to keep a straight face for approximately fifteen seconds, and then he finally broke down and laughed.
“I’m just curious about what you’ve been doing, but if you don’t want to talk about it,” he said more soberly, “that’s okay.”
Dan appreciated that his brother wasn’t pressuring him for information. The very fact that Jamie wasn’t encouraged him to share.
“It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it, Jamie. I just don’t want to put you to sleep.” The smile on his face was a tad sheepish. “The last twelve years have been pretty boring.”
The sadness Jamie saw in his brother’s eyes told him that those years weren’t boring so much as they might have left a scar on Dan’s soul. Jamie found himself aching for his brother.
“Tell me when you’re ready,” Jamie said. “No pressure.”
Dan was about to say something in response, but just then, a slender, willowy redhead with lively blue eyes and an infectious smile walked into the room, coming from the back of the house. She looked straight at him.
“I thought I heard you talking to someone,” she said to Jamie.
Both Jamie and his brother rose to their feet in unison.
“Danny,” Jamie said, putting his hand out to the woman who had just crossed over to them, “I’d like you