Although they had spoken a couple of times since that incident involving the drunk, Sean had tried his best to stay out of Molly’s way. Not only did he want to avoid another confrontation with her, but he wasn’t comfortable with all the emotions she seemed to have stirred up inside him. He wanted to be indifferent to her but he knew deep down that it was beyond him. Maybe he had succeeded in dismissing all the other women he had dated from his mind but he couldn’t rid himself of Molly, it seemed.
‘How’s it going in here, Sister?’ he asked, falling back on professional courtesy seeing as everything else seemed way too difficult at the moment.
‘Mr Forster was complaining of feeling sick,’ she replied in the coolest possible tone.
Quite frankly, Sean wouldn’t have thought her capable of sounding so frosty and blinked in surprise. Molly had always been known for her warmth, for her kindness, for her sheer joie de vivre. Her earlier anger had been upsetting enough but to hear her sounding so frigid was even worse. It sent a shiver straight through his heart. Had he done this to her? Had he turned her from the warm, loving woman he remembered to this … this chilly replica of herself? Even though he hated the idea, he couldn’t dismiss it.
‘I imagine it’s the morphine,’ he said evenly, clamping down on the guilt that threatened to swamp him as he lifted the patient’s notes out of their holder. Frank Forster had been admitted after complaining of severe pain in his lower back. Apparently, he had been lifting a large Christmas tree off the roof of his car when it had happened. A subsequent scan had shown that one of the discs in his lumbar spine had prolapsed and was pressing on a nerve. The poor man was in a great deal of pain, which was why he had been given morphine while they waited for a bed to become vacant in the spinal unit. Now Sean frowned as he looked up.
‘Why didn’t Dr Collins prescribe an anti-emetic with the morphine?’
‘I have no idea,’ Molly replied coldly. She finished straightening the blanket and patted the middle-aged man’s hand. ‘I’ll be back in a moment with something to stop you feeling so sick, Frank. Just hang in there.’
She treated the man to a warm smile and Sean felt some of his guilt ooze away. So the old Molly hadn’t disappeared completely, as he had feared. It was just with him that she was so frosty; she was perfectly fine with everyone else. That thought might have set off another round of soul-searching if he had let it, only he refused to do so. As he followed her out of the cubicle, he ruthlessly shoved all those pesky feelings back into their box and slammed the lid. He had to focus on the fact that he had done what he had needed to do to protect her, and that he would do exactly the same thing all over again too if it became necessary …
Wouldn’t he?
Sean felt his vision blur, the sterile white walls that surrounded him turning a fuzzy shade of grey. He would finish with Molly again if he had to—of course he would! However, no matter how many times he told himself that, he didn’t quite believe it. Maybe he was ninety-nine per cent certain but there was that one per cent of doubt lurking in his mind. One tiny but highly dangerous percentage of uncertainty that sent a chill rippling down his spine. Until he could erase it completely then he couldn’t be sure exactly how he would react, so help him!
Molly made her way to the desk, trying to ignore the fact that Sean was following her. That was the best way to handle this situation, she reminded herself—she would ignore him and concentrate on doing her job. It shouldn’t be that difficult. They were always so busy that there was little time to think about anything of a personal nature; however, she had to admit that several times she had found her thoughts wandering. Sean had had a major impact on her life and it wasn’t easy to forget that when they had been thrust together again like this.
Molly’s generous mouth tightened as she set about making the adjustment to Frank Forster’s meds. Although she knew exactly what was needed to make the man comfortable, it required a doctor’s signature on the prescription. She glanced round, hoping to catch sight of Steph Collins, their F1 student, but there was no sign of her. Although everything was calming down now, there were still a few patients in the unit. Undoubtedly, Steph was dealing with one of them.
‘Here. I’ll sign that.’
A large tanned hand reached over her shoulder and took the script from her and Molly jumped. She hadn’t realised that Sean was standing quite so close to her and she couldn’t stop herself reacting. There was a tiny pause and she held her breath as she willed him not to say anything. She didn’t want him to suspect how nervous she felt around him, didn’t want to admit it to herself even. She just wanted to be indifferent to his presence, as he was undoubtedly indifferent to hers.
The soft rustle of paper as he scrawled his name at the bottom of the script broke the spell. Molly nodded as he handed it back to her without comment, relieved that she had got off so lightly. She would be wary of that happening again, she thought as she took the keys to the drugs cupboard out of her pocket. The last thing she wanted was to appear vulnerable when Sean was around.
‘Thanks. I’ll get Mr Forster sorted out and then check if there’s a bed available yet. He may have to be transferred to Men’s Surgical if the Spinal Unit can’t come up with anything soon.’
‘Hardly ideal, is it, to shunt seriously injured patients about?’ Sean observed.
‘No. It isn’t.’ She shrugged, causing another wayward curl to spring out of its clip. ‘However, needs must. We either move him to Men’s Surgical or get a rocket off the powers-that-be for overrunning the time limit. I sometimes wish that they all had to do a stint down here. Then they might appreciate just how difficult it is to get a patient seen and treated within such a ridiculously short space of time.’
‘Amen to that,’ Sean murmured. Leaning forward, he carefully tucked the unruly curl behind her ear and nodded. ‘There you go. All nice and tidy again.’
‘I … erm … I’ll get that anti-emetic.’
Molly turned and fled, uncaring what he thought as she hurried into the office. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, rapid little flurries that sent the blood gushing through her veins in a red-hot torrent, and bit her lip. She didn’t want to react this way, but she couldn’t seem to help it. The moment Sean had touched her, it had been as though a fire had reignited inside her and the thought filled her with dismay.
She couldn’t go through what she had been through two years ago all over again. Sean had meant the world to her back then; she had honestly thought that she had found her Mr Right, but she had been mistaken. Sean wasn’t interested in making a commitment to her or to any woman.
‘About what happened before, Molly, well, I’d hate to think that it might create a problem between us.’
Molly spun round so fast when she heard Sean’s voice that the room started to whirl around her and she grabbed hold of the desk to steady herself. ‘What happened before,’ she repeated uncertainly. Her heart suddenly leapt into her throat. Was Sean talking about their affair? Was he attempting to explain why he had ended it so abruptly? Even though it shouldn’t have made a scrap of difference now, she found herself holding her breath.
‘Yes. That incident with the drunk, I mean.’ He grimaced. ‘You were quite right to take me to task because I should never have interfered. I’ve always had the greatest respect for the way you handle even the most difficult patients and I should have left it to you to sort things out.’
‘I …’ Molly found herself floundering and desperately tried to collect herself. Of course Sean wasn’t talking about their affair! That was over and done with so far as he was concerned. In fact, he probably