He watched her intently for several seconds, as if he were trying to decide if he could change her mind. Apparently he didn’t think so. “If that’s what you want.”
“It is.” She would get by somehow. She always had. Of course, back then, she hadn’t had twin infants to consider.
“At least allow me to cover the funeral costs,” he said. “I owe Jeremy that much. And his children.”
If she let him it would shave off a fair chunk of her current financial responsibility. And maybe it would bring Jason closure. Everyone deserved that, right?
She shoved her pride aside long enough to say, “That would be okay.”
He looked both sad and relieved. He was extremely attractive, but of course she would think that since he looked just like her husband, whose chiseled features and long lean physique had caught her eye the instant he’d walked into the party where they’d met. She’d never slept with a man on the first date, but she had gone home with him that night.
The sex itself hadn’t been mind-blowing, but it had been nice. What she’d really liked, even more than the physical part, was just being near him. She’d liked the way his lips moved when he spoke, the inquisitive arch of his right brow. She’d loved the feel of her hand in his. He’d made her feel safe.
At first.
Unfortunately, as her pregnancy had progressed and her condition had become more fragile, he hadn’t been able to cope. Instead of taking care of her, assuring her that everything would be okay, she had been the one constantly soothing his anxieties and fears.
She’d convinced herself that once the boys were born, things would go back to normal. But even after the twins were home from the hospital and out of danger, Jeremy’s temperament had continued to deteriorate until she’d felt as if she had three children and no husband. Some days he hadn’t even gotten out of bed, and he’d begun to resent the twins for taking up all of her time. He’d even accused her of loving the children more than she loved him.
She’d kept waiting for things to change, for him to go back to being the sweet, sensitive and attentive man she’d married. How could she have known that that man had never existed?
“If you hadn’t talked to Jeremy in so long, how did you know he’d died?” she asked Jason.
“I got a call from my attorney. For the first time in five years his allowance went untouched for over a month. I knew something had to be wrong.”
Holly’s jaw fell and her heart broke all over again. “He had an allowance?”
“You didn’t know,” he said, and she shook her head, feeling sick all the way to her soul.
She was beginning to wonder if Jeremy had told her the truth about anything.
“I apologize if I’m getting too personal,” Jason said. “But where did you think the money was coming from? Did he have a job?”
“He told me that he had been in a terrible car accident when he was a teenager that permanently damaged his back. He claimed the money was from a lawsuit settlement. But there was no accident, was there? And no settlement.”
Jason actually cringed, as if it pained him to admit the truth. “Not that I know of.”
Had any of it been real? Had Jeremy honestly loved her and the boys? Had he even been capable of that kind of love?
“Will you be staying here, in the city?” Jason asked.
The idea of how and where she would find an affordable apartment without a job or money filled her heart with dread. “I—I don’t know. Yet.”
“I’d like the chance to get to know my nephews. They are the only family I have left.”
“Of course. I would love that. I’m just... Suffice it to say that things are a little up in the air right now. But as soon as we’re settled I’ll let you know.”
Though she tried to put on a good face, Jason’s look of skepticism said he wasn’t buying it. He studied her with the same stormy blue eyes as his brother. So alike, yet not. “You have nowhere to go, do you?”
She squared her shoulders and lifted her chin, saying with a confidence she was nowhere close to feeling, “I’ll find something.”
“You mentioned selling the ring. Do you have any other resources? Was there life insurance?”
If only. But that wasn’t his problem. “We’ll get by.”
“I’ll take that as a no.” He sighed and shook his head, mumbling under his breath. “He left you with nothing, didn’t he?”
No, he’d left her with something. A big old pile of debt and two very hungry mouths to feed. She lowered her gaze, clasping her hands in her lap so he wouldn’t see that they were trembling. “We’ll manage.”
“How?”
She blinked. “Excuse me?”
“How will you manage? What’s your plan?”
Good question. “Well... I haven’t figured everything out yet, but I will.”
When she’d met Jeremy she had just moved to New York and had been staying with the brother of a friend back home in Florida, where she’d been raised. At the time, meeting Jeremy had felt like destiny. But now, with her life in shambles, if it wasn’t for her precious boys, she might have wished she’d never met him.
* * *
Though her tone conveyed the utmost confidence, Holly’s eyes told an entirely different tale. Jason could see that deep down she was scared—terrified even—at the prospect of supporting herself and his nephews. But she was clearly in no position to support herself, much less twin infants. And he was in the perfect position to help her. If she would only let him.
His biggest hurdle would be her pride, which she seemed to possess in excess. But he had learned long ago that there was a very fine line between pride and irresponsibility.
He heard the wail of an infant and realized it was coming from the baby monitor on the coffee table. Then a pair of wails, like baby stereo.
Holly sighed, looking exhausted and overwhelmed, and Jason wondered how long it had been since she’d had a decent night’s sleep. He could only imagine how difficult life had been for her lately, being a recent widow with twins. And then along he’d come to tell her that everything she knew about her husband was a lie.
Talk about rubbing salt in the wound.
“Would you like to meet your nephews?” she asked.
His heart jumped in his chest at the prospect of meeting twins who were now his only family. “Of course I would.”
She pushed herself up from the couch, wobbling slightly before she caught her balance. She flashed him a weak smile and said, “Still a little woozy, I guess.”
And who could blame her? He rose, prepared to catch her if she fell over or, God forbid, lost consciousness again, as he didn’t have the first clue what to do with a screaming infant. Let alone two screaming infants. He followed closely behind her, and as she opened the bedroom door, it was obvious that both his nephews had healthy lungs. He never would have imagined that anything so small could make such a racket.
She switched on the light and Jason held his breath as he peeked over her shoulder into the cribs at his nephews. There was no doubt they took after his side of the family.