“On the other hand, I could say my wife is away taking care of a sick relative…in Australia maybe?” Tucker said.
“Or she could have a job where she travels a lot,” Anna mused. “Like in sales. Or maybe with the airlines.”
“A stewardess?” Forest asked, sitting beside Anna. “That’d be hot.”
“That’s flight attendant, not stewardess, you sexist pig,” Anna said. “And let’s make her a pilot. More impressive.”
“That could work—faking a wife, I mean,” Forest said. “Hey, you could borrow my old wedding band.”
“Your old wedding band?”
“We thought he lost it down the sink,” Anna said, elbowing her husband, who grimaced in pretend pain. “So we bought a new one. Then I found it behind the bathroom sink faucet. If Mr. Fidget here wouldn’t take off his ring every time he washes his hands.”
“You want me to get a rash? I don’t need a ring to feel married,” he said, kissing her cheek. “I’m yours forever.”
“Read to us, Unca Tuck! Read to us!” Steven shouted, dragging a book bigger than he was along the carpet. Stewart hopped beside him—a one-man cheering squad.
“Go play for a few minutes, guys,” Anna said. “Your mommy and daddy have to straighten Uncle Tuck out.”
“Uh-oh,” Stewart said, staring at Tuck with round eyes. “Were you berry bad?”
“Kinda bad,” he said.
“You have to make good chooses, Unca Tuck,” he said somberly. After a sympathetic once-over, the boys turned and galloped off, happy with the extra playtime.
“So, you think I can fake a wife? Except I told Harvey she’d be at the opening-of-school potluck.”
“So get someone to stand in,” Anna said. “You pissed Julie off, but maybe someone else?”
“Someone else named Julie?”
“Or someone who’d pretend to be her…” Forest said slowly. “I’ve got it.” He leaned across the couch to pick up a framed photo from the end table and turned it toward them. It was a shot of Tucker with his arm around Anna on the terrace of the Del Coronado near San Diego, where they’d all gone for vacation last year.
“You’d be perfect,” Forest said to Anna. “You know Tuck and you want the best for him.”
“No,” Tucker said. “That would be crazy.”
“Not necessarily,” Anna said. “I could go to the potluck and impress everyone.”
“Too much of an imposition,” Tucker said, trying to head her off. “You live miles away. There will be more than a potluck to attend, I’m sure.”
“But if I were a pilot, I’d have the excuse of working out of town a lot.” She tapped her finger on her lip, looking Tuck over. “You want to make a good impression, don’t you? You don’t want to sound like an idiot or a letch, right? Or like you’re hiding a sordid past?”
“Of course not.”
“Because that’s how you’ll sound if you tell the truth now.”
“But still…”
“And you can pay us back baby-sitting the twins while Forest and I go away for a weekend or two.”
“Thanks for the offer, Anna, but it’s too complicated.”
“You don’t think I can do it, do you?” Anna said. “I have an acting background, you know. I was great as Emily in Our Town at the community college. Everyone said I had talent.”
Forest snorted. Anna slugged him and he said, “Ouch.”
“I’m sure you’re very talented, Anna, but—”
“Pretending to be married would be good for you, Tuck,” Forest said, leveling him a look. “It’ll keep you out of equipment closets with passing women.” Forest had been completely disgusted by the Melissa encounter and felt obliged to give the big-brother glare from time to time.
“So, I’ll go to the potluck with you,” Anna said, getting into it, “and maybe a faculty party at Christmas. I could spend an occasional weekend at your place. There’s that candy factory out there I love and some antique stores, so I could get some shopping out of it.” Anna scooted to the edge of the sofa in her excitement. “And the rest of the time I’ll jet the globe as a pilot. I always thought that would be a great career. And you love a woman in uniform, right?” She batted her eyes at him.
“Good lord.”
“Forest, you’ll have to take over the boys when I’m in Copper Corners with Tucker,” Anna shot at her husband.
“No prob. To help Tuck out I’ll be glad to babysit.”
“Baby-sit? Ha!” she replied with a snort. “How come when a dad takes care of his kids it’s baby-sitting? And that does not mean letting them climb the curtains while you watch ESPN, either.”
“I can handle it, don’t worry.”
“I’m starting to love this idea,” Anna said. “Plus, I can make sure the principal knows how committed and dedicated and faithful you are, right, Tuck?”
“I don’t see how this could work, Anna,” he said uneasily, but a twinge of hope rose, all the same.
“Call me Julie. And of course it will work. We’ll make it work.”
“I’ll go get the spare ring,” Forest said, jumping up.
“I think I know where the negative for this photo is,” Anna said, scrutinizing the framed shot, “so we can make a print for your wallet.”
“A photo on my desk would be plenty, but…we’d better think this through.” Why was he even considering going along with the Forest-Anna steamroller? Only because of his desperation to not look like an idiot to Harvey. He needed the man’s confidence in him. And part of that confidence was knowing he was stable and married, not a lying single fake.
“Don’t worry, Tucker,” Anna said. “This is a good thing. This way you can really be the dedicated guy you want to be. You’ll be married to your job. Literally.”
Before he could reply, Forest returned, polishing the ring in his shirttail. He plopped it onto Tucker’s palm.
There it sat…the symbol of eternal love and fidelity.
That Tucker would be faking. He almost handed it back.
He hated starting out at Copper Corners on the wrong foot—letting the misunderstanding become a false life. On the other hand, it was almost poetic that sex was messing him up again—his last impulsive behavior. This was a warning.
And it was true that being married—even as a pretense—would keep him on the straight and narrow when it came to women. And he’d do such good work that in the end the charade wouldn’t matter a bit.
But could a wedding band, a photo on his desk and an occasional appearance by his wife be enough to fake a marriage? Hard to believe. Tucker tucked the ring in his pocket. He’d have to think about it.
2
ON HIS FIRST DAY at Copper Corners High, Tucker strode purposefully toward the administration building to talk to Harvey Winfield, fingering the wedding band in his pocket as he walked. He’d decided to tell Harvey the truth. He wasn’t married. It was all a misunderstanding.
He dreaded how stupid he’d sound, but the fake marriage was too weird, no matter how enthusiastic Anna