Questions flooded her mind, most of which she didn’t dare put into words. Sam reminded herself that she wasn’t here to get help, she was here to give it.
‘Do you mind if I ask you something?’
‘Isn’t that what you’re here for? David said you’d have plenty of questions.’
‘This isn’t really one of them. I was just wondering how Jamie is doing now.’
Liz laughed, her face lighting up. ‘He’s fine. Has his ups and downs, like everyone, but he’s on the right track. He’s working at his uncle’s building firm, and he’s gone back to college to get his qualifications.’
‘Good. I’m really glad to hear it.’
‘Thank you. It’s good to be able to say it...’ Liz broke off as the buzzer for the door sounded. She checked the screen behind the reception desk and released the lock. A small group of people entered, who Liz seemed to know, followed by a middle-aged couple who were looking around as if they were new here.
‘I’m sorry, I won’t be a moment. I think they’re here to see Euan. Why don’t you go and sit in the garden?’
‘I’ll sit here, if that’s okay.’ Sam gestured towards one of the chairs in the corner of the reception area.
‘Yes, of course.’ Liz walked over to the couple and started to talk to them, showing them to seats.
Euan was still talking, but he seemed to sense her gaze, as if it was something corporeal that had sauntered over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He looked round and for a delicious moment it was as though he and she were the only two people in the room. Then reality broke in.
He acknowledged the couple who had just arrived with the smile that Sam felt should, by rights, have been for her. ‘I’ll only be five minutes...’ Turning back to Jamie, he guided him through an open doorway to finish their conversation in private.
* * *
Euan had heard the door buzz, and knew that it must be Sam, but Jamie had caught him on the way to the door, and Liz had appeared from the kitchen to let her in. He caught a glimpse of her, just enough to want more, and then Jamie claimed his attention.
‘So what’s up?’
‘I went to see Kirsty the other day.’ Jamie was staring past him at a point somewhere behind his left shoulder. That was always a bad sign. ‘Took Mum with me, so her parents wouldn’t think I was a bad influence.’
‘And did they?’ Euan tried to catch Jamie’s eye, but failed.
‘Nope. Her mother cried and her dad shook my hand.’ Jamie’s shoulders squared a little.
‘So how does it feel to be a good influence?’
Jamie dismissed the idea with a shrug, his mind obviously on something else. ‘I just keep thinking. Kirsty’s always been careful...’
‘There’s no safe way to take cocaine, Jamie.’
‘Yeah, yeah. I know. All the same, there must be something different on the streets.’
There was. Euan had already heard some talk, and the results of the police tests on the remains of the white powder found on Kirsty had confirmed it. Cocaine that had a higher level of purity than usual was very bad news. Euan decided not to go into the details with Jamie.
‘I still know some people. I could ask around, find out what’s going on...’
‘You think that’s a good idea?’ Euan asked with concern.
‘I have to do something. Kirsty’s not going to be the same again, is she?’
‘Don’t write her off. She’s already made much better progress than I could have hoped, and she’s still in recovery. If you really want to do something for her, she needs all the friends she can get at the moment.’
‘And when it happens again I’ll just go and make friends with that person, shall I? My social life’s going to expand no end...’ Anger was radiating from Jamie’s tense frame.
‘The drug agencies and the police are working on it, mate. What you need to do is to concentrate on helping Kirsty and on helping yourself. Let them do their jobs.’
‘And if they don’t...’ Jamie’s fists clenched. ‘I can’t just sit around, doing nothing.’ A glimpse of the angry youth who had come so close to ruining his life.
‘There are no answers, Jamie. Life’s a problem. It’s supposed to hurt, and to make you angry and to keep you up nights, staring at the ceiling.’
Jamie puffed out a sigh. ‘And the trick is to stay clean for today.’
‘You said it.’
Something seemed to whisper across the back of his neck. The breeze as the entrance door opened, perhaps. When Euan looked round, he fell into the dizzying depths of Sam’s luminous, thoughtful eyes.
Dragging his gaze away to steady himself, he saw the middle-aged couple talking to Liz. If they were who he thought they were, they were an hour late, but they’d come a long way to see him. Even if he doubted that he could be of any help in finding their daughter, he had to at least try. He acknowledged the couple and drew Jamie to one side, away from the people who were straggling through the door for this afternoon’s group session.
‘Call me, Jamie.’
‘I don’t need to. It’s Kirsty we’re talking about here, not me.’
‘You sure about that?’
Jamie stared at him and then shrugged. ‘Kirsty’s a friend, and I didn’t see this coming. What kind of a person does that make me?’
It was a question that Euan had struggled with for years. He’d been too blind, too busy to see his own wife’s addiction. He knew all about the corrosive quality of that kind of guilt and Jamie deserved better than that.
‘It makes you human. You’ve been a good friend to Kirsty, but you can’t take responsibility for what she does. You’re not to blame for what happened to her.’
Jamie’s small, wordless nod was enough to tell Euan that he was thinking about it and that he shouldn’t press the point further. ‘I’m going to the hospital later. I’ll call you and let you know how she’s doing.’
‘Thanks. Are you going to be okay?’ He searched Jamie’s face for any sign that he was thinking of doing something stupid.
‘Yeah. Go and sort someone else out. I’m fine.’
‘We’ll talk later, then.’ He waited for Jamie’s nod and then let him go.
* * *
He found Sam in the kitchen, making tea, while Liz watched the entrance door and chatted to Mr and Mrs Pearson. When she turned her face towards him, it was full of expectation.
‘Want a cup of tea?’ There was a clear, unspoken addendum to that, he realised. Are you ready to give me some of the time you promised?
‘Sam, I’m sorry, but there are some people here to see me and it’s important...’
She nodded gravely. ‘Okay. I’ll wait. Do you want the tea?’
It seemed churlish to take the tea and then desert her again. But on the other hand he could do with it. ‘Um...if there’s a spare cup in the pot.’
‘There’s enough to go around.’ She opened the cupboard above her head and reached for another cup.
‘Thanks, Sam. I’ll be as quick as I can. Why don’t you go and sit in