“Julie and Jess have history.” “What kind of history?” “Big history.” He patted his wife’s belly. “You’re kidding. They were …?” He shook his head. “False alarm. But it had us all going for a while.”
“So, what should we do? I don’t want either of them being uncomfortable. Especially not Jess, with everything he’s been through—a war, the death of his fiancée, a career change.”
Rafe gave his wife an affectionate kiss on the cheek.
“Well, I’m sure eating spaghetti with a former girlfriend will shrink in comparison to all that.”
“You may be a great doctor, but you’re not so smart about relationships, are you?”
“I get ours right, don’t I?”
“You get ours perfect. But we don’t have history … torrid history.”
“I didn’t say it was torrid.”
“No, but …” She patted her own belly. “That sure implies it, don’t you think? Anyway, he’s here and Julie’s down at the stable, talking to Johnny, so she’ll be up in a few minutes. And you, my dear husband, are in charge of dealing with the situation.”
Rafe shrugged, then gave over to a smile. “Like I said, could be interesting. Jess needs something to shake him up, and Julie might be it.”
“What might be it?” Jess asked from the doorway.
“This might be it,” Edie hedged, holding up her butcher knife. “The best one I own. This one might be … it.”
Jess gave them both a half smile. “Domesticity has really dulled you two down, hasn’t it?” he asked. “So much ado about a knife?”
“Hey, little brother. Believe me when I tell you there’s nothing dull in this house. In fact, I think you’re about to find out just how un-dull Gracie House is going to be.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Me, Jess. I think Rafe’s referring to the two of us having dinner together.” Julie looked at Edie. “Molly let me in, by the way. Hope that was okay? Oh, and I brought non-alcoholic sparkling grape juice. Knew you couldn’t do wine, but I thought this might go well with the spaghetti.” She held the two bottles out to Edie, but Jess was the one who took them and marched straight to the refrigerator on the other side of the room—as far away from Julie as anyone in the kitchen could get without opening the back door and continuing on into the yard.
“Thank you. So, I take it you and Jess remember each other?” Edie asked, with a sly wink at Rafe.
“Actually, we had the chance to catch up with each other just a few days ago … in New York,” Julie said. She was clearly not as uncomfortable as Jess was at this meeting. If anything, she was almost too noncommittal. Trying too hard to stay unaffected. “In the back of my ambulance. He was my very last patient as a paramedic.”
“So, that’s how it was. Jess was your patient.” He arched an amused eyebrow at his brother. “Bet he wasn’t a very good one, was he?”
“No, he wasn’t.”
“Did you have to strap him down?”
“Do you two realize I’m standing right here?” Jess cut in.
“Sure we do, little brother. But since you’re not contributing to the conversation—”
“Look,” Julie interrupted. “It’s clear I’m the outsider here. How about I take a rain check for another night? That way Jess will be able to enjoy the lovely meal Edie has prepared without getting tied up in knots having me sitting on the opposite side of the table from him.”
“If anyone should leave, it’s me,” Jess said. “You’re the guest, I’m just the—”
“You’re both overreacting,” Edie broke in. “This is a meal. A simple meal. That’s all. Food, conversation … don’t read anything else into it. Molly’s excited, having both of you come to dinner, and we’re not going to disappoint her. So, Jess, have a seat at the table. Julie, sit anywhere you’d like. Rafe, go tell Molly dinner’s ready.” She sucked in a deep breath, then dropped down into one of the kitchen chairs. “Oh, and in case you didn’t notice, we’re eating in here tonight. I didn’t want to make it formal by setting the dining room. So relax, be casual.” She smiled sweetly. “Sit with your backs to each other, if you must. But let me warn you. I have a ton of food, and neither of you is going anywhere until that spaghetti platter is clean.”
Julie laughed. “I think I can manage my fair share, in spite of Jess being here.”
“Ditto,” Jess grumbled.
“Do you two want some time to air some dirty laundry before we eat?” Edie asked. “Because you’re welcome to use the den.”
“No laundry, dirty or otherwise,” Jess said, taking his place at the table.
Julie took her spot diagonally across from Jess. “None at all. Not one single, solitary piece of it.”
“Why don’t I believe you?”
“So I suppose now’s the time to ask,” Jess said. He’d followed Julie halfway to her car, trying to decide what to do. Truth was, he didn’t know what was proper here. They’d made it through dinner, kept the conversation light enough. But those sideways glances he’d caught her giving him … no mistaking her feelings. Now here they were, ex-lovers, ex-friends—Jess wasn’t even sure what they were—standing six feet apart in the driveway on a starless night where the moon didn’t even have the decency to exit its cloud cover, both of them so stiff they wouldn’t have even swayed in a wind squall. “Ask what?”
“Several things, I think. First, how are you?” “After all these years, that’s the best you can do?” “Okay, let me try something else. How have you been getting along?”
“You mean, how have I been getting along without you? Is that what you want to know?”
“Okay, stupid question. Let me try again.”
“There’s nothing to try, Jess. If there were, you would have tried it, or said it, the other day in the ambulance. But you didn’t.”
“Because you told me to shut up.”
Julie shook her head. “Look, let me make this easy on you. I live in Lilly Lake now, work at the hospital you own, and that may put us into close proximity from time to time. Which means we need to learn how to deal with … us. What we were, what we weren’t.”
“What we were, Julie, were kids, doing the things kids do.”
“Not all kids do what we did. I mean, I’m assuming you’re not forgetting …”
“No, I’m not forgetting. Believe me, I’ve thought about us, about what happened, over and over all these years. Thought about how it could have turned out differently, where we might be now, if it had. The thing is, I’m not that same person, Julie. I’ve lived a lifetime since then, had regrets you can’t even begin to imagine, and all I can say to you right now is that I’m sorry. I was a stupid, thoughtless kid. I should have trusted you more. But I didn’t. I said some bad things and I am sorry.”
“So am I,” she said, her voice flat. “Sorry you thought I was trying to trap you, but I’m also sorry I didn’t tell you the truth sooner than I did. And that I didn’t get to apologize. But you left me, Jess. You walked away from me and never gave me the chance.”
Jess shut his eyes, heaved out a heavy sigh. “You were sixteen, Julie. I was seventeen. We really didn’t have a lot of choices. And you didn’t have anything to apologize for.” He opened his eyes to look at her, but she had turned away from him, staring at her car. “There really wasn’t a right or a wrong way to get through it,