‘No, no, don’t break into the stores, Fritha. That bruet we had last night was perfectly good. Haven’t we got any of that left?’
‘There’s plenty left, my lady, that’s what I’m giving all the villagers. But you can’t give that to his lordship on his homecoming. It’s not good enough for him.’
‘We looked on rabbit bruet as a great treat three years ago, have you forgotten?’
‘I know, my lady, but—’
‘If it’s good enough for all of us, it’s good enough for him. The bruet will be fine, Fritha.’
‘But—’
‘I will not break into our stores for him and his uncouth friends,’ Hester snapped, her sharp, angry words making Fritha jump. ‘Rabbit bruet is more than they deserve.’ As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she knew she shouldn’t have said them, but she couldn’t help herself.
Feeling Fritha’s surprise heavy in the air, Hester turned her back and strode out of the kitchen, giving the cook no more chances to cajole or argue. She paused for a moment in the covered walkway which linked the kitchen to the hall. There was the hiss-hiss of whispering, which had begun as soon as they believed her to be out of earshot.
She couldn’t make out the words, but she guessed the purport. What’s wrong with her? Not pleased? Didn’t she want her husband back? A man other women would do anything to please—and no doubt many had. But she wouldn’t step an inch out of her way to please him. He could go back to his paramours in the Holy Land for all she cared. In fact, she wished he would.
Hester continued on, along the passageway, through the buttery and into the great hall. She paused at the entrance, glancing up at the timber beams arching high above. The hall was deserted, but soon the dark rider would be here, presiding over his homecoming feast. Hester marched purposefully across the rush-strewn floor. As her feet fell on the soft rushes the scent of herbs wafted up. As she had ordered the day before, new rushes had been laid with sweet-smelling herbs from the garden. He would find nothing slovenly in her housekeeping. A thought flitted across her mind: she hoped he would not think the new rushes had been laid in his honour.
Of course, the perfect lady would have ordered the best of everything and hidden her feelings, Hester thought as she strode up the stone staircase, which rose at one end of the hall, leading up to her solar and the other chambers on the first floor. She knew full well that she wasn’t anyone’s idea of the perfect courtly lady—these years of coping alone had seen to that. Why should she pretend to be one of those soft, pliant creatures, when the world had forced her to become as hard as the Abbascombe rocks in order to survive the buffets of the stormy years?
What did she care if everyone knew the truth? Why should she pretend to be something she wasn’t? And why should she pretend to care for him after the way he had treated her?
Hester needed to be alone and the only place was her solar. With its sparse furnishings and magnificent view down over the fields to the sea, it was the only refuge now from all the flurry and excitement of this hollow homecoming.
As she reached the solar, though, she stopped short on the landing outside. The door was open and inside two of the girls were hurriedly changing the bedlinen, while two more were attempting to attach to the wall a moth-eaten old tapestry which she’d banished years before. It was a picture called The Betrothal and showed a knight kneeling to a lady in a garden of roses. Its sentimentality annoyed Hester intensely. In the middle of all this activity, Maud was behaving like a whirlwind, pulling old gowns from the chest, holding them up for examination, then discarding them on the floor.
‘What on earth is going on?’ Hester demanded, flinging back her plaits with a toss of the head, which reminded her that her hair was still caked with dried mud.
‘Oh!’ Maud jumped, turning to see her mistress. ‘We’re just doing a little housework, my lady—’
‘Was this your idea?’ Hester interrupted, nodding at the tapestry, which was now hanging limply by one corner since the girls had let it go in their shock at seeing their mistress. It was obvious that Maud had intended to do all this without her knowledge and to present her with a fait accompli.
There was a nervous silence. ‘Well?’ Hester prompted.
‘I thought it would make the room a bit prettier,’ Maud suggested, her head on one side. ‘A bit of colour. And I’m just trying to find a pretty gown for you to wear tonight. And the girls…’ she petered out, seeing the rage on her mistress’s face.
‘The girls are changing the bedclothes,’ Hester finished for her.
‘Well, yes, my lady.’ Maud smirked. ‘They’re putting on the bridal linen. See how beautiful it is. See the embroidery and the fine stitching. It was worked by his lordship’s mother years ago, but it’s still beautiful. I’ve kept it wrapped with lavender and…’
Hester felt herself blush red hot. One of the girls giggled, but Hester didn’t trust herself to look her in the face and scold her. All she could do was stare at the bed. Her bed. And now everyone was expecting her to share it with him. That rude, dirty stranger who’d come to steal everything she loved in the world, the very things closest to her heart. And, as if that weren’t enough, he would take her body too. Body and soul. Body and soul. The words pulsed through her mind. He owns me body and soul.
‘Get out…and take that stupid thing with you,’ she commanded, flinging her arm towards the tapestry.
‘But, my lady—’ Maud began.
‘But, my lady, but, my lady! That’s all I hear from everyone. Don’t torture me by talking your rubbish.’
‘But it’s such a great day, God be praised. Our lord is back. Your husband…’
‘Leave me,’ Hester insisted and held the door wide for the girls and Maud to exit, then slammed it behind the old woman and surveyed the room. The tapestry still hung there limply.
The whole place had gone mad—and for what? For the return of a man who had deserted them all when they had needed him most. They were simpletons to welcome him back. Didn’t they realise he would be off again in a trice whenever it suited him?
She spun around to the tiny window slit in the wall. A little moonshine glowed through it, an invitation to her eyes. There were her fields, lying beneath the vast night sky, stars twinkling above them, and the sea beyond, huge and dark. She could hear it crashing relentlessly against the cliffs. Hester stared out into the inky gloom and felt emotion pricking at the backs of her eyes.
‘I won’t cry,’ she whispered to herself. ‘No matter what he does to me, what he takes from me, I won’t cry.’
It was the vow she had repeated to herself for the past ten years, ever since the fever had taken her parents. Ever since then, however dire life had been, sheer willpower had prevented her from shedding a single tear.
She felt as alone now as she had done then, coming to this strange place, full of strange faces. She knew them all now, but none of them understood her feelings, none could understand her horror of this thief-husband come to wrench away from her all she valued.
But moping wasn’t the answer—that would solve nothing. What she needed was action, a plan. Hester scratched at her head, trying to stimulate her thoughts. No plans jumped to mind, but she did realise that she was still covered with mud, now dried and flaking. In fact, it was making her scalp itch and her clothes stiff. She definitely needed to change her clothes and have a really good wash, and, yes, Maud had thought of everything. As well as a fire blazing in the hearth, there was a large bowl of hot water in the corner behind the screen.
Glad to be doing something, Hester pulled off her clothes quickly, dropping them in a muddy heap on the floor. The water was warm and smelled of lavender. There was something calming about standing in her warm bedroom washing herself after the shocks and humiliations of the day.
She