“There. We’re done,” Alex said, as he finished the splint.
“I think our patient will need a minute to recover,” Maryann said.
He looked up at Timmy’s face and saw he was almost asleep. The book had slipped from his hands and was lying on the gurney beside him.
Alex picked up the Bible. “I’ll move this to the shelf so it won’t fall off the gurney.”
“Careful with it,” Maryann said.
Alex nodded as he walked over to the bookcase. “Timmy sure is attached to it. Although I suppose that’s true for lots of children.”
“It’s natural for children to believe in God,” Maryann said, with a nod.
Alex grunted as he laid the Bible down on an empty shelf. “Maybe, but it passes soon enough.”
Maryann looked over at him curiously. “Why do you say that?”
“The minute we’re born people start having problems. Sooner or later, everyone comes up with a problem God can’t solve for them. And it’s usually sooner.”
“Oh.” Maryann looked at him and then blinked.
“I’m not the only one who has been disappointed in God,” he added, softly. The sympathy in her brown eyes grew and he found the words escaping him. “And, at that, I’m better off than—” He broke off, but he didn’t stop. “Well, I’m better off than my brother.”
Alex held his breath. He never talked about God or his brother. He must be more bothered than he’d thought about Maryann calling him The Ice Man. Why did women judge a man by how easily he spilled his emotions, anyway? Or maybe it had nothing to do with her. Maybe it was the confidence Timmy had in his face when he held onto that Bible. It made Alex remember the way he used to feel a long time ago. Back then, he’d embraced God in the same way he loved his pet frog and the stack of comics under his bed. It was all part of a carefree childhood.
But then came the moment when everything that was good in his family shattered—the day Alex’s life had been spared when his older brother shoved him out of the way of a runaway car. Even though they had carefully checked that the light in front of them said it was okay to walk, the car’s brakes had failed and the driver couldn’t stop for the two boys crossing the road. Within seconds, Alex had landed safely back on the sidewalk, while his brother, Frank Rocco Havens, was crumpled on the street, with his body so damaged he’d never walk again.
“You mean your brother that phones?” Maryann finally asked.
Alex nodded. “His first name is Frank, but we don’t call him that anymore.”
Now, why did he have to say that? He never even thought about Rocco’s old name anymore. Their mother was the one who had renamed Frank after the accident. The first time she’d heard another kid draw the name Frank out into Frankenstein, she’d told the family they’d use Frank’s middle name, Rocco, from now on. His mother had been kind back in those early days; she fought the whole system to get her son care. It wasn’t until later, when the doctors said his brother would always be paralyzed, that she drew away from the rest of the family. Shortly after that his father started traveling more.
Alex had felt like it had been only him and Rocco that made up the family after that. Alex had to fight his guilt, wondering why he couldn’t have stayed out of the crosswalk that day, instead of trailing behind his brother who’d already made it clear he wasn’t to come with him. If Rocco had been alone when the car came, he could have jumped to safety. Instead, he’d turned and pushed Alex out of the way. Alex had idolized his older brother. Couldn’t he have obeyed and stayed behind just that once?
“I’m sorry,” he finally said. He looked over at Maryann. “I don’t mean to stand here talking about someone you don’t even know.”
“But I feel like I do know Rocco a little,” Maryann answered gently. “I didn’t know his real name was Frank, but when he calls, I answer the phone. He always wants to know what the weather is like up here, so I look out the window and describe what I see. Once we saw a bald eagle fly by.”
Alex was surprised. “I thought he just asked to speak to me and that you put him straight through. He doesn’t usually talk to strangers.”
“I’m not a stranger, I’m your nurse,” Maryann said. “Besides, he seems nice. He likes what I say about the mountains. Why wouldn’t he talk to people?”
Alex could hardly say it was because Rocco was bitter. His brother’s mouth might still work, but he was so self-conscious about his legs he’d managed to become a recluse in the middle of the largest city on the west coast. Granted, Rocco hadn’t sounded as grim the last few times Alex had talked to him, but something was wrong. Rocco kept saying he wanted to talk in person and Alex kept saying he needed to just speak on the phone for now. Alex would be in Los Angeles in three weeks anyway, so he couldn’t make a special trip down there now, not when he had so much to do to wrap up his practice here.
“How long does he talk to you anyway?” Alex finally asked.
Maryann shrugged. “It’s only a few minutes. He usually wants to know if we have snow on the mountain yet. And what the lunch special is at Lizbet’s Diner. And if you’ve been out on any tours lately as the guide. He’s very interested in Treasure Creek. You should invite him up to visit.”
“Rocco? He never goes anywhere.” Alex’s voice sounded harsh to his own ears. He knew Rocco could go places, but he never even went to the grocery store anymore.
It was silent again, but finally Maryann said, “Maybe he likes to stay home.”
Alex grunted. “He has a choice. I’m not saying it would be easy. He’s in a wheelchair. My brother can only go out if someone is with him. I got him an attendant last year, to help him with this exercise program that could make him more independent, and if he wanted to go outside he could—”
Timmy moaned and Alex looked down at the boy.
After that, he and Maryann worked in silence.
By the time they had Timmy ready to go back to the waiting room, the child was almost able to sit up. The boy was still disoriented, but his parents could take him home with crutches.
This time Maryann wheeled the gurney back into the waiting room. Alex swore he could hear her singing a lullaby to the boy as they went down the hall, but he had to get the prescription written, so he sat at his desk in the examination room while she took Timmy back to his parents.
Alex decided it was a good thing he was leaving in a few weeks. This whole thing about the ice man label and people worrying about him getting married had him feeling strange inside. He’d never told anyone about his brother. He didn’t know why he was opening his mouth about it now. Fortunately, he’d stopped before he told Maryann everything. Knowing her, she’d just feel sorry for him. Then he’d need to do more than stop her matchmaking, he’d also have to stop her from poking around in his heart to see what his guilt and sadness was all about. And then she’d move on to worrying about Rocco. He knew her kind. And his older brother wasn’t any more free with his emotions than Alex was. They’d never even talked about “that day” with each other. There were just no words for some things. Alex wasn’t even able to say he was sorry, not until he could do something to make up for the part he’d played in the accident.
When he finished writing the prescription, Alex took it out to where the Fieldses were sitting. He reminded them to bring Timmy back if he developed a cough or high fever, and they agreed. Then they left.
The second the door closed behind the family, Maryann turned to him. “I’m sorry. I had no business saying anything about you last night.”
Alex felt himself relax. As long as she forgot about him and Rocco, he didn’t care what she wanted to discuss.
“Just