“Let’s see if we manage to complete this evening unscathed first, shall we?”
Amusement flared in his eyes. Jessie was afraid he knew exactly what she was experiencing. He leaned back in the booth, his expression bland as his hot gaze raked her face. “We’ll see just which of us raises the white flag first then, shall we?”
Jessie relaxed the tense muscles gripping her spine. She didn’t even own a white flag. He had no idea just how stubborn and determined she could be.
Neither of them was getting any sex tonight, she reminded herself. After dinner she would drive herself home. Alone. It made a world of difference to her nerves when she leveled the playing field. The balance of power was in her hands tonight.
He might wonder.
But she knew.
THE SUN SHONE BRIGHT as a spring day, but there was still a nip in the air as Joshua strolled beside Jessie at the antique street fair one Sunday afternoon. She wore blue jeans that did marvelous things to her long legs and heart-shaped butt, a short, screaming orange sweater, and a brightly patterned silk scarf. The outfit was so Jessie, as he was finding out. She hadn’t worn the bold colors to attract attention, Joshua knew, although several men had turned to look at her. Jessie loved bright colors. Happy colors she’d informed him, eyeing his tan slacks, pale-blue shirt and navy windbreaker with disfavor when he’d met her downtown earlier.
The streets were crowded and noisy. Not the kind of place he’d ever have chosen to spend a Sunday afternoon. And certainly not where he would have chosen to be with Jessie. He preferred his surroundings slick, modern and new. And he wanted this woman to himself. Preferably in his big, black lacquered bed.
An unexpected business trip had kept him out of the country and he hadn’t seen her in a week. Her face had come to mind at the most inappropriate times. It annoyed the hell out of him.
Jessie paused beside a table laden with junk. She ran her hands over chipped cups and tarnished silver, all the while chatting comfortably with the vendor, an older woman with improbably red hair and a tired face.
Joshua admired the way the sun tangled in Jessie’s dark hair, and the sweet curve of her cheek and mouth as she spoke. She talked with her hands, too. Animated, alive, interested in strangers. He felt a pang he grudgingly admitted was jealousy.
He wanted her to himself. Yet each time he saw her he became more intrigued by her interaction with others. She put people at ease. The things that drew him to her were the same traits that drew other people. Jessie’s obvious joy for life, her enthusiasm, her sheer pleasure in everyday things. He glanced at the elderly lady’s face as Jessie asked about a particular item on the overcrowded table.
The woman was brought to life by Jessie’s animation, by her interest. It wouldn’t have surprised him if she gave Jessie anything she wanted from her table of wares.
“She expected you to bargain, you know.” Joshua told her as they strolled away with Jessie’s purchase, a beaten-up, tarnished teapot for which she’d paid the asking price. A ridiculous amount for a piece of junk.
Jessie cradled her purchase to her chest. “She’s raising her two grandchildren. Oh, look at that!” She grabbed his hand, dragging him through the crowd to look at a sideboard on the opposite sidewalk.
Joshua looked at their clasped hands. Her skin looked pale and soft, her hand small. He liked the feel of it in his. He liked the joining. And he wanted her more than his next breath.
Not just the wanting sexually. Although, God only knew, he urgently wanted her naked beneath him. But he wanted some of her joy, some of her zest for life.
He didn’t ever remember having Jessie’s…zing, for want of a better word. She crackled with energy. Was gloriously, unabashedly alive.
“What?” She glanced up to find him staring at her.
The milling crow faded as Joshua bracketed her face between his hands and brought his mouth down on hers. Her lips felt smooth and soft beneath his. He eased his tongue into the warm wetness of her mouth. She tasted of the caramel corn she’d eaten earlier. He’d never cared for the flavor before, but, on Jessie, the too sweet flavor tasted like ambrosia.
He stroked down her back and held her lithe body against him in an agony of want. The sun shone brightly on Joshua’s closed lids, bathing him in gold. I’ve lost it. We’re in the middle of the street for heaven’s sake! Surrounded by hundreds of people— A magnitude-ten shudder traveled from his face to his groin when Jessie used both hands to hold his head steady, then lightly stroked his cheeks with her thumbs as he kissed her. Her agile tongue played with his, darting and playing tag until Joshua felt weak and stupid with desire.
Once. That’s all he’d need. One time in Jessie’s bed. One time in Jessie. Surely to God that was all that was required to get her out of his system. Jessie Adams was just too much hard work. He was used to picking up the phone and having his woman available immediately. With Jessie he had to watch the ball.
Her tongue slipped from his mouth, and an ache of disappointment pressed against his chest. No. His arms tightened about her slender waist. But his Jessie wasn’t done with the kiss, after all. She brushed her damp lips across his, once, twice, then nipped his lower lips between strong, white teeth, and all the while her soft hands stroked his face.
Joshua had never experienced anything like it. Hell, he’d been horny before. He’d been turned on before. Sex was fine. Gratifying. A stress reliever. But with Jessie he wanted… What? More? Joshua went hazy for a moment as Jessie’s body shifted against him.
She was dangerous…lethal. Damn it, he didn’t do commitment. He wanted her to be the same as other women he’d dated and slept with. He needed her to be just like them. He wouldn’t have it any other way.
She finally pulled her mouth away. “We’re going to be arrested if we don’t stop.”
Joshua looked at her through dazed eyes. “What?”
Jessie smiled, her mouth blush-pink, damp and swollen from his kisses. Her unruly hair flew about in the warm spring breeze, strands stuck on the front of his sweater. Bonding them.
Joshua took a step back and stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his Armani slacks. “I don’t do public displays of affection.”
“Really?” Jessie’s brown eyes danced. “I’ll have to remember that the next time you grab me for a kiss in public.”
ANOTHER DINNER DATE. Joshua vowed he wouldn’t see this woman anywhere dangerous. Like a street fair. Or a parking lot. Or standing beside her car outside the theater in broad daylight.
There was something wrong with him, Joshua knew. He was incapable of feeling true emotion. Oh, he could fool most people, and he was quite proud of his ability to project the illusion. But the reality was he didn’t experience emotional highs or lows like other people. He had some sort of missing gene.
He could claim it was because unemotional, uncaring parents had raised him. But he was an adult now, capable of seeing their selfishness for what it really was. No, the failing was his and his alone. It just wasn’t in him to have any depth of feeling. It wasn’t a problem. He’d managed perfectly well without it for thirty-three years.
It was easier to move on and not linger when he had an affair. No one got hurt. He was upfront and always told the woman that he had no intention of getting involved. Hell, fact was, he couldn’t get involved. It just wasn’t in him. It was always her choice if she decided to stay or go. He never admitted he didn’t have the emotional fortitude to sustain any kind of relationship.
Take it or leave it. This was who he was. The Glacier.
Joshua had coldly analyzed his obsessive attraction to and fear of being with Jessie. He didn’t want her to get close enough to see through him to his empty heart. He didn’t want her to know that what she saw was merely the shell of a man going through the motions. Like Pinocchio, he wanted