‘For coffee.’
‘Then yes.’
Blake was asleep and Janey was watching a movie, but after a brief chat she went off yawning to bed.
‘Here.’ Nina handed him his coffee and she felt incredibly awkward, embarrassed to be alone with him, with the man who knew so much about her past.
But was somehow still there.
Jack looked around the shabby apartment that had been so fought for and cherished by three people, and he knew why—it was home.
‘Thanks for these past couple of weeks, Jack.’ Nina made herself say it. ‘I really do mean that.’
‘You’re welcome,’ Jack said, and took a mouthful of coffee before speaking. ‘Thank you too.’
‘For what?’ Nina grinned.
‘Oh, a few things spring to mind—changing my career path for one.’
‘Sorry about that.’
He drained his coffee. ‘I’m going to go.’
He really ought to do exactly that, the sensible part of him knew that as he stood, or rather the sensible part of the Jack he had been a couple of weeks ago, who had looked out at the ward and chastised himself for even considering a fling with Nina Wilson, knew that he should just get out now. Except he’d done more thinking these past weeks than he had in a long time, and more thinking that he’d ever thought he would about a woman in the days since she’d asked him to leave.
‘‘Night, Nina.’
He moved in to give her a kiss, just a friendly kiss that started on her cheek and then moved to her mouth, and she felt the graze of his lips, felt her own tremble to his mouth, but then he removed it.
‘‘Night.’ He smiled and his arms let her go.
Except she wanted some more of his mouth.
‘Jack …’ she called as he headed to the door. ‘You said things would never be awkward between us.’
‘They won’t be,’ he assured her.
‘You don’t have to go,’ Nina said. ‘I mean, if you want …’
‘Tell me what you want, Nina.’
Her cheeks burnt as she said it, as she told him exactly what she would like to happen. ‘I’d like you to stay.’
‘Or we could just have a kiss and see where that leads?’
And her cheeks burnt some more. She felt the wrap of his arms around her and then his lovely mouth and she kissed him in a way she never had. His tongue slid around hers and his mouth tasted divine, so she kept right on kissing until it wasn’t enough, till she wanted him to kiss her harder, but still he just kissed her slowly and when her hands left his hair and tried to work down his body, Jack halted them, held them down by her sides and just kept kissing her till she though she might die from the pleasure. She gave in then, till the pleasure was too much and not enough at the same time, and Nina pressed her body into him, except Jack pushed her hips back and then stopped.
‘What do you want, Nina?’
‘I want you to stay.’
‘In that case,’ Jack said, ‘I’d love to.’
And he entered the hallowed turf of her bedroom and kissed her again, just as blissfully as he had out in the hall, except she wanted more.
‘Jack …’ His hands were back holding hers down. ‘Please.’
‘What do you want, Nina?’
‘For you to undress me.’
‘I’d love to.’
And he was way too slow, just so painfully slow because she wanted to be on the bed with him, but instead he was slowly unzipping her dress and then taking off her underwear, very, very slowly, with no kisses in between. His touch was tender, just not enough, and when he knelt down and carefully took off her shoes, she could have wept at the slight graze of his hair on her thighs when she wanted his mouth.
‘Please, Jack …’ She went to the buttons of his shirt, but his hands stopped her. ‘Please.’
So he undressed himself while still kissing her and frantically she helped him, closing her eyes to the bliss of their naked skin pressed together and she simply could not stay standing and she knew what he was doing and just gave in to it now.
‘I want you to take me to bed.’
‘I’d love to.’
And Jack was old enough to dress himself, and she watched and held onto his shoulders as he protected them then kissed her, moving her onto the bed. She wanted to hold him, to touch him, yet still he restrained her. Then he began to move his hands over her body, until she was crying and dizzy, and then his hands were still and hers led him to where she wanted them to be, because tonight it was all about her.
‘What do you want, Nina?
‘You to …’ His hand went over her mouth and he spoke into her ear and reminded her she was a lady. He felt her mouth stretch on his palm into a smile and then he felt the heat of her skin as it flared into a dark blush.
‘What do you want?’ he checked.
‘For you to make love to me.’
And so he did, and Nina didn’t care about tomorrow as he moved inside her, as he took her completely, because whatever happened from this point he had given her tonight—a night when she didn’t hold back, when she moaned and writhed beneath him. And Jack didn’t hold back either. Maybe it would be awkward at work in the future because, when they came, he was telling her he loved her and she was telling him the same. Afterwards they lay there, Nina burning from the pleasure and just a bit embarrassed because, yes, she loved him, she just hadn’t really wanted him to know how much.
‘What do you want, Nina?’
She frowned and turned her head to him, had thought that delicious game was over.
‘Tell me,’ he insisted.
She looked at the playboy on her pillow and would love him for ever, but she knew there were limits, knew that the truth couldn’t fully come out here. ‘What I can’t have.’
‘How do you know that?’
‘I know that.’ She smiled, and watched as he turned onto his elbow and then gave her a little telling-off.
‘You need to start saying what you want,’ Jack said. ‘You need to be able to say what you want.’
‘I know that.’
‘So say it.’
‘I’d like to see more of you.’
‘How much more?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘I think you do.’
‘And I think it’s impossible …’ She forced another smile. ‘I’ve effectively got two kids …’
‘Forget them.’
‘I can’t,’ Nina sobbed, because she couldn’t and never would, even if it meant that she and Jack couldn’t have a future together.
‘Forget about your brother and sister and my reaction, and just tell me what it is that you want.’ Jack was insistent.
And at the risk of him running from the bed and grabbing his suit, at the absolute risk of him running off and life being terribly awkward in the morning, she told him.
‘I want you to be a part of my family.’ She said it and Jack listened and he didn’t run. He’d done that in the past few days when he had carefully thought about all he might be about to take on, and as he looked