‘No. I suppose to you they weren’t.’ Unable to withstand his gaze, she turned away. He didn’t stop her walking away.
All through her shower she felt numb. A part of her wanted to get into the first taxi, go and grab her daughter and hug her close. The other, more rational part of her knew she had to get her emotions under control before Annabelle returned. For her daughter’s sake, she knew the latter decision was best.
Dressed in white linen trousers and an aqua silk-trimmed cotton top, she caught her hair up in a bun and slipped the camera strap over her head.
When she entered the living room, Cesare stood exactly where she’d left him, but the tiny espresso cup in his hand showed he’d busied himself with other things. His face was devoid of expression as he gulped it in one smooth swallow, set the cup down and came towards her.
Ava backed away. ‘I...what time are your parents bringing Annabelle back?’
‘After lunch, but we can make it sooner or later. Just say the word.’
She shook her head. ‘After lunch is fine. I...I’ll make sure I’m back by then.’ She headed for the door, and stopped when he fell into step beside her.
‘What are you doing?’ she demanded.
‘I’m coming with you.’
‘No, you’re not. I told you, I need some air.’
‘There’s enough air out there for both of us, I’m sure.’
‘I meant alone.’
‘Out of the question. You’re reeling from the news I’ve laid at your feet. I recognize that, as the person who’s caused you pain, I’m the last person you want around you, but you’re my responsibility nonetheless.’
‘What? Suddenly your security detail isn’t up to the job?’
‘Why delegate when I’m in the position to do a better job?’
‘Now you choose to play the attentive husband?’
His jaw tightened. ‘I married you. I brought this chaos to your doorstep. And I’m damned if I’m going to abandon you now to deal with it alone. We deal with it together. And call me selfish, Ava, but I’m hoping staying with you will earn me your forgiveness quicker. And, who knows, if I manage to save you from being hit on by a mercenary local, then I may even gain some Brownie points.’
Her hand tightened around the camera. Looking at him, at the visible distress in his face, made the tightness in her chest loosen a little. ‘It’s not going to be that easy, Cesare. To be honest, I don’t even know what I’m feeling right now.’
He nodded. ‘Then we won’t talk. Just walk, sì?’ He moved past her and held the door open.
With a sigh, she went through it and waited while he called up the lift.
They walked for an hour without speaking, heading west instead of east where most of the popular Roman landmarks were located. Ava concentrated on documenting the local life.
But, even lost in the one thing she loved to do most aside from being a mother, she was hyper-aware of Cesare’s pain-ravaged presence beside her. The part of her that acknowledged he must be reeling wanted to offer comfort. But her own shock was too great to process.
He might have suggested they wouldn’t talk but she soon realised he had no intention of keeping his hands to himself—a hand in the small of her back to guide her across the street; around her waist to steer her clear of a group of excited tourists or a careless scooter, or a touch on her shoulder to draw her attention to a statue or a fresco he thought she might be interested in.
When the sun rose higher, he led her to a small local shop and bought her a wide straw hat, sun cream and a bottle of water.
Her breath caught as he squeezed a dollop of cream onto his fingers and applied it to her arms and face. When she lifted questioning eyes to his, his merely responded—I don’t want you to burn.
Ava could’ve told him it was too late. She was already burning in hell. His every gesture demonstrated his regret for having kept Roberto’s deterioration and death from her. Aside from that damning decision, everything else he’d done since had been to protect both her and Annabelle. Quietly, Ava had to concede that if she had been told so soon after nearly losing Annabelle in the earthquake, she wasn’t sure she would’ve withstood the blow.
Her thoughts scattered when Cesare’s arm slid around her shoulders. When she glanced at him, he nodded at a trattoria across the square overlooking the Tiber.
‘We skipped breakfast. And also I think it’s time to get out of the heat.’
Although she suspected she wouldn’t be able to hold down a single mouthful, she reluctantly nodded.
The owner broke into a smile and ushered them in the moment he recognized Cesare. After they were seated in a far corner of the cool trattoria, Cesare ordered cornetti, fruit and coffee, along with a selection of sliced Parma ham.
Once they were alone, he sat back and watched her with narrowed eyes.
‘I...haven’t forgotten that in all this you’ve also received a horrible shock,’ she said in a low voice. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Does that mean I’m not in Hades any more?’ he murmured.
She plucked the hat from her head and set it down on the spare chair along with her camera. ‘First of all, I want to know everything about this condition, and I mean everything. No protecting me from the unsavoury facts.’
‘I don’t want you to worry about—’
‘No, Cesare. I want to know everything!’
His lips firmed but he nodded. ‘Celine emailed me a report. I’ll forward it to you.’
‘Also, we have to tell Annabelle—’
‘No, she’s too young to understand.’
After a second she nodded. ‘Okay, but as soon as she’s old enough, we’ll tell her. I don’t want her kept in the dark.’
‘Sì, I agree.’ He met her surprised gaze with a mocking smile. ‘You see, I’m learning the error of my ways. Which brings me to another subject.’
‘What subject?’
‘Us,’ he stated baldly.
‘Did we not agree only a few nights ago that there was no us?’
‘I think in light of recent developments, we need to revise that view.’
‘Recent developments...you mean us having sex? That changes anything, how?’
His hands fisted until his knuckles turned white. ‘Are you saying it doesn’t?’
A dart of pain arrowed through her. ‘You said it yourself, Cesare—the sex has always been mind-blowing between us, but it doesn’t form the basis of a sound relationship, let alone marriage. I need more.’
His normally golden features paled. He opened his mouth but, before he could speak, their waiter approached, platters held high. Cesare’s gaze remained fixed on hers the whole time the owner fluttered around them in effusive Italian. After a minute, he fell into silence when he realised neither of them paid attention.
The second he left, Cesare rasped, ‘And if I’m unable to give you more?’
She shrugged. ‘I’ll do anything and everything to ensure Annabelle remains healthy and safe. Between us we can plan for one of us to always be with her. I’ll make sure that works for any future assignments. But when it comes to you and I, Cesare, unless something changes drastically between us other than the mind-blowing sex, I don’t see why