Ava gasped. ‘Oh my God.’
‘After that she flatly refused to stay with Roberto. She came back to New York...asked for her job back. She was carrying my brother’s child. I could hardly say no.’
‘And Roberto blamed you all over again?’
He shrugged. ‘We’d never been particularly close growing up. He was ill more often than not, constantly in and out of hospital as a child, while I was away at boarding school ten months out of twelve. Valentina was his first and only serious relationship.’
Her heart clenched hard. ‘So the big brother he thought had everything had swooped in and stolen the only woman he cared about.’
Cesare’s jaw clenched hard. ‘Si. He refused to believe that I’d had no hand in Valentina’s defection. Nothing I said made a difference. I tried to talk to Valentina but she refused to return to Rome.’ He sighed. ‘I gave her all the support I could. In hindsight, I think I may have given her too much support.’
‘She never went back to Roberto?’ The question slid from numb lips as it struck her just how very little she really knew about the man she’d married.
‘No, she never got the chance.’ His husky reply broke through her thoughts. ‘She overdosed on sleeping pills midway through her second trimester. Turned out she was manic-depressive and her state had been heightened by her pregnancy. Roberto lost his mind with grief. He cut me off, he cut our parents off and moved to Switzerland.’
Ice drenched her soul and, for the first time in her life, Ava found herself struck dumb. Neither of them moved for what seemed like an eternity.
Then he exhaled a harsh breath. ‘You wanted to know. Now you know.’
The words hit her like a slap in the face. ‘You still should’ve told me. At the very least our child deserved to know she’d lost her uncle.’
His gaze slid away. ‘Roberto died two weeks after the earthquake. I didn’t think it was fair to burden you with that news.’
‘And in the time since then? You could’ve texted, emailed...hell, you could’ve Tweeted me, for heaven’s sake.’
A rough hand shoved through his hair. ‘Yes, I could’ve done all of that. But I didn’t. Let’s just chalk it up to me being the heartless bastard you think I am and move on, shall we?’
Ava wanted to rail at him but, seeing the grief behind his words, she opted for peace. ‘Will you at least tell Annabelle? She deserves to know.’
Cesare’s gaze met hers and Ava’s heart caught at the pain in the dark depths. ‘Sì, I’ll tell her about Roberto when the time is right.’
A thought niggled, but danced away before Ava could fully grasp it. ‘Was that what Celine meant when she insisted you tell me?’
‘She thought you needed to know about Roberto, yes.’ His tone implied he would very much prefer if she dropped the subject. Pain stung again.
The niggling persisted. ‘But why did she insist on seeing Annabelle? It all seemed a bit OTT to me, to be honest.’
A grim smile crossed his mouth. ‘Celine, like most women, doesn’t know the meaning of subtle. She knows about the earthquake and has been asking to visit since you and Annabelle returned. She takes her role of honorary aunt very seriously.’
‘As long as that’s the only role she’s banking on.’
‘Drop it, Ava.’ The warning was back in his voice, tension sizzling in that flattened line of his mouth. ‘You insulted her and jumped to the wrong conclusions. You should thank your lucky stars I’m not rescinding our truce after that performance.’
Her heartbeat thundered. ‘It’s your fault. If you’d told me all of this before she arrived, we wouldn’t be having this conversation!’
Cesare pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘You push me...all the time you push. You never stop.’
The bone-deep weariness behind his words pulled her up short. ‘What do you mean?’
Tawny eyes turned grave. ‘From the very beginning you pinned high hopes on me—your need for a family, for togetherness. Don’t think I didn’t know what the Bali trip was all about. Did it occur to you that I wasn’t in a position to provide you with all of that?’
Ice skated down her spine. ‘Where is this coming from? If you felt like this, then why did you bother to come to Bali?’
He looked away. ‘You rarely ask me for anything any more. You asked for that and I couldn’t refuse you.’
‘So you came anyway, knowing I was trying to save our marriage but knowing you had no intention of engaging with me?’
‘I was hoping you’d see we were beyond help.’
‘Well, silly me. That sailed right over my head.’
His jaw tightened. ‘I was wrong, of course, to think things would go smoothly with you around; wrong to think I would be spared the reminder that I’ve failed you.’
‘I’m just trying to understand—’
‘Understand why I don’t fit into your mould of a perfect husband and father? Because, above all else, it’s what you want, isn’t it?’
‘Above all else? God, you make me sound like a needy, pathetic creature.’ He remained silent and the ice unfurled. ‘Is that what you really think of me?’
‘I’ve never been good at the family thing, Ava. My parents had their hands full with Roberto. He was their number one priority for a very long time. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t neglected but I learned very quickly to be content with my own company. After a while, I preferred it.’
‘Then why marry me?’
‘You were carrying my child.’
The numbing ice encased her whole being. He stilled for a moment then jerked closer, the edges of regret on his face as he lifted his hand. She ducked out of reach before he could touch her.
‘You don’t need to soften the blow,’ she forced out. ‘In all things I would prefer brutal honesty.’
‘Has it ever occurred to you that I keep you in the dark for your own protection?’
‘I’m not a child, Cesare. And I especially don’t want to be kept in the dark about things that affect our daughter. I want the truth. Always.’
A bleak look entered his eyes and his shoulders stiffened. ‘In that case you need to know something else,’ he said.
Her heart lurched. ‘What?’
‘Although he was sick on and off for months, we don’t actually know what Roberto succumbed to in the end. That was part of the reason for Celine’s visit.’
‘Her...what exactly does Celine do?’
‘She’s a doctor.’
Her brain cogs slowly engaged until his meaning sank in. ‘So asking about Annabelle...?’
‘She also wanted to check on her medically. On all of us.’
Fear tightened her chest. ‘What does she think could be wrong? And please don’t sugar-coat the truth to protect me.’
‘We honestly don’t know. Roberto refused medical treatment in the weeks before his death. It could even be that he took his own life.’ Raw pain drenched every word.
‘Suicide?’ she rasped. ‘Dear God.’ She sank into the chair. After several minutes, she raised her head. ‘Is there anything else I should know?’
He visibly pulled in the