* * *
The click of the bedroom door closing pulled Jane out of a deep sleep. She rolled over, confused about where she was until the gilding of the four-poster bed glimmering in the light from the grate caught her attention. With a contented sigh she turned to tempt Jasper into the exertion they’d been denied by his being summoned away from the theatre, but he wasn’t beside her.
He stood by the window, staring out at the darkness just beyond it. The languid man who’d poured champagne was gone, replaced by the serious one who’d told her of Savannah in the carriage the other night.
She sat up. ‘Jasper? Is everything all right?’
He turned his back to her as he undid his cravat. ‘Yes, it’s fine.’
‘You don’t appear as if everything is fine.’
‘There were some things I had to deal with at the club.’
‘What things?’
‘Nothing you need to worry about.’
‘Of course I worry about it, especially after you leave me at the theatre and then come home looking like the devil.’
He jerked the linen from around his beck. ‘If I say it’s nothing, then it is.’
She drew back a touch on the bed, wide-eyed with shock. He’d never snapped at her before.
He flung the linen over the back of a chair and scraped his hand through his hair, more contrite than irritated. ‘I’m sorry, it was a difficult night. I had to deal with some issues I failed to face sooner because I’ve been distracted.’
By me. Once again she’d brought problems into a house, except this time it wasn’t her parents’, but her own. She wished she hadn’t pestered him. It was another testament to how stubborn she could be when she wanted her way and the trouble it could cause. ‘Then come to bed and let me help you forget about it.’ She shrugged a little to make her chemise slide down over her shoulder to reveal the top of one full breast, wanting to be close to him and settle the unease inside her and him.
It didn’t tempt him. Instead he turned his back to her to shrug out of his coat and waistcoat. ‘It has been a long night. I need some sleep.’
Jane tugged the chemise back up to cover herself, as baffled as she was wounded. He hadn’t hesitated to tell her about the Company Gaming Room, even treating his secret as though he’d killed a man, not backed a few card games. Tonight he was tight lipped about his troubles. It wasn’t right, she wanted him to confide in her, but she couldn’t force him to do it. Insisting had never made her reveal anything. She doubted it would work with Jasper.
She settled back down in the bed while he continued to undress, the whisper of his clothes the only conversation between them. She was tired and so was he. The last few nights had been pleasurable but long. They both needed rest and afterwards he might be more willing to talk to her.
At last, he slid into bed beside her, but didn’t reach out to hold her or laugh with her like he normally did when he returned early in the morning from his hell.
‘Goodnight.’ He kissed her on the forehead, not with affection but with dismissal before rolling on his side, his back to her.
She turned on her side, too, careful to stay as far away from him as she could. How dare he dismiss her like some maid! She had no idea why he’d done it. The new earrings lying in a crystal dish on the table beside the bed caught her eye and a bolt of fear made her stiffen.
Maybe it’s me. Maybe he regrets our marriage. The old nagging feeling she wasn’t worthy of affection covered her like the early morning darkness before she pushed it back. Nothing in what he’d said or done since the ceremony had hinted at such a thing, until he’d all but shoved her away tonight.
She stared at the far wall turned orange by the smouldering coals, determined to be sensible and not fall prey to late-night worries, but it was difficult. Eventually, he was sure to explain, but patience wasn’t one of her stronger virtues.
She closed her eyes, ignoring how cold the bed was when he didn’t hold her. The uneasy sense this wouldn’t be the last time Jasper might not turn to her for comfort continued to nag until the rising sun lit up the room and, unable to remain still any longer, she rose to begin her day.
Jane sat at the burled-wood-and-gilded writing desk in the sitting room to review receipts and the correspondence she’d collected in regards to the building. The new furniture would be delivered in a few days, an elegant and sizeable amount commissioned by a London merchant who had been sunk by the sudden drop in coffee prices. Jane had snatched up the unpaid goods at a splendid price and they would soon be installed at the club.
Jasper had yet to rise and, if it hadn’t been for Mrs Hodgkin interrupting her more than once to discuss the dinner menus, she would have been quite alone this morning. After the delight of the theatre, this wasn’t exactly how she’d pictured spending today.
Johnson, the butler, entered with a few letters. ‘Would you like me to leave these here or take them up to Mr Charton?’
‘You can leave them here. They’re enquiries into services. We needn’t bother Mr Charton with them.’
Johnson placed the letters on the table beside her then left, his wan face not betraying whatever he thought about his employer sleeping so late. Jasper had mostly been at his parents’ house since coming home and all the servants in this one were new. They knew as much about his affairs as they did about his gaming hell, which was nothing. They were kept in the dark about it to make sure they didn’t inadvertently mention it in front of his family. They thought he went to a club for gentlemen merchants every night.
Jane set down her pen and rose. She wandered to the window and pushed aside a curtain to take in Gough Square. A nurse and her young charges were out in the centre, enjoying their daily walk, and there was no one else to be seen. The clerks and shop owners who filled the houses in the square were up and hard at work, including her, while her husband slept.
She turned away from the window and leaned against it, biting the nail of her thumb. Jasper couldn’t have built a successful gaming hell if he was a layabout.
Maybe I should be glad he’s still in bed. Once he was up they’d have to face each other and the lingering questions and awkwardness of last night. He hadn’t been pleased to see her then—she wasn’t sure he’d be any more excited by her presence now.
It left a sour taste in her mouth as she sat down to read a note from the painters about progress on the Fleet Street property’s walls and she tried her best to forget it. Hopefully, his distance and reluctance to talk to her was nothing more than a fluke. Years ago, there’d been times when Philip, after seizing collateral in the middle of the night to keep a debtor from making off with it, had been up, too agitated to sleep. She’d come downstairs to sit with him and talk. Unlike Jasper, Philip had welcomed her company.
Enough of this. It had taken a while for Laura and Philip to come together nine years ago. It hadn’t been easy and they’d struggled during their first few months of marriage to become acquainted with one another after wedding as strangers. Jane had the advantage of a long history with Jasper and their entire lives together, but it didn’t mean the adjustment to their new situation wouldn’t be difficult. This was only a setback and setbacks were to be expected. She would be sensible about this and not act like a flustered lover or dwell on the incident and make it worse.
She began a reply to the painters when the sound of the front knocker made her pause. It was loud and she hoped it didn’t wake Jasper. She twisted the new gold bracelet on her arm as she listened to the butler