“I am the worst of sinners. I condemned my half brother to a life lived outside of the family. It was me who stood in his way. Made him feel like he could never be close to us. He told me that tonight. It is on me, Gabriella.”
“Alex—”
“I carry the blood of my father. Weak selfishness that I’ve worked a very long time to overcome. So believe me when I tell you I will regret nothing of what happened here tonight. My nobility is nothing more than a construct. There is no conviction behind it. But you, Gabriella, you, I fear will regret this.”
“Maybe. Tomorrow. But not now. And the only thing we have for sure is now.”
A feral sound rumbled low in his chest and he shifted positions so that he was over her, his arms braced on either side of her shoulders.
She locked her leg over the back of his calf, an action designed to hold him prisoner even though she knew it wouldn’t be truly effective. Still, she wanted him to know that she wanted him here. Desperately.
“Alex,” she said, his name a prayer on her lips. She bracketed his face with her hands, looking at him, trying to see what he was thinking, even through the darkness. “Don’t you know how much I want you?”
He tensed, pulling away from her slightly. Her heart hammered hard in her chest, clawing at her like a small beast.
“Alex,” she said his name again, ready to beg him if she needed to.
He flicked on the light. The way it illuminated his face cast the hollows of his cheekbones into darkness, adding a tortured quality to his features.
“If I’m going to sin, then I’m going to do it with my eyes open,” he said. “If I’m going to have you, then I’m going to look at you while I do it.”
She breathed a sigh of relief, sliding her hands around to the back of his neck, holding him to her. “I’m glad.”
“You won’t be. Gabriella, I am too old for you, too jaded, too tired. I can offer you nothing. It’s a strange thing to realize that. I am a billionaire. I have more money than I could ever spend in a lifetime. I have all of these things. And for a great many years that has been good enough. I have had whoever I wanted in my life when I wanted them. I have had ultimate control over my own reputation. Wielding it like a sword when I needed to. But none of that helps me here. None of that helps with you. It is...insufficient, and I am a man who is not used to falling short.”
“You have yourself. That’s all I have to offer. That has to be enough.”
“Tonight it will be.”
Alex lowered his head, kissing her deeper, harder, than he had before. A restless groove in the pit of her stomach spread through her entire body. Like a creeping vine that took over everything in its path. Winding itself around her limbs, around her throat, making it impossible for her to breathe. Binding her to Alex in a way that was so intense, so permanent, she knew that parting from him would be so much more painful than she’d imagined it would be.
But she wouldn’t stop. Even knowing that, she wouldn’t stop.
This time, he did not keep his hands still. He did not simply press his palm to her stomach. He let himself explore her body, his fingertips skimming her breasts before he took one firmly in hand, sliding his thumb over one hardened nipple. She gasped, arching against him, her entire body alive with sensation.
“This is a gift I don’t deserve,” he said, his tone fractured and reverent.
She couldn’t speak, but if she could, she would have told him that she was the one receiving a gift. So many lonely, isolated years. So much hollowness inside of her. She had hidden herself away to avoid being hurt again. To avoid more rejection. The neglect of her parents had been enough. And when she went out, she put on a mask. She didn’t let anyone see both parts of herself. Princess Gabriella never messed with Gabriella as she was day to day. She didn’t give anyone the chance to reject who she really was. But Alex had it all. Held it all in the palm of his hand as surely as he held her body. And he was here. He was touching her. Pouring out all of this attention, all of this care, onto her.
It was so beautiful she could barely breathe.
He pushed her shirt up over her head, baring her breasts to him. She had taken her bra off when she had put her sweats on, and now she was relieved. One less barrier between the two of them. She didn’t want anything standing between them. Didn’t want any walls up whatsoever. She wanted to give him everything—her body, her soul—and no matter how foolish she knew it was, she couldn’t stop that desire that roared through her like an untamed animal.
It would end in heartbreak. It would end in destruction.
But when she was old, she would look back and she would have this moment. She would have Alex. And she knew without a doubt that giving in to pure, true love was something she would never regret.
She had no idea how this moment had happened. How this woman in this bed, in this man’s arms, was the same woman she had been only a week ago.
She was changed. She was new. Already, he had changed the world for her. Lifted the veil so that she could see the colors more clearly, feel pleasure more keenly, feel desire sharp like a knife’s blade sliding over her skin.
It was painful, incandescent and magical all at once.
He made quick work of her sweatpants and underwear, leaving her completely bare to him, his dark gaze filled with hunger, a desire that couldn’t be denied, as he took in the sight of her body.
“Gabby,” he said, her name a whispered prayer. “I never thought I appreciated art. But this... You. You are every bit of beauty a painter has ever tried to capture onto canvas. The fields, the mountains, all of the smooth female skin that has ever been painted in an attempt to show some of the glory that is here on this earth. They fall short. It all falls short of you.”
Her heart felt so full she thought it might burst. How was this real? How was this man saying these things to her?
It was inconceivable that she might be enough for this man.
That he was afraid that he might not be enough for her. That he was apologizing for the lack of what he had to give.
It didn’t make sense. It didn’t make sense at all.
But she reveled in it. Accepted it. Took it as her due for so many years of feeling like she was less than.
“I need to see you,” she said, her voice a hoarse whisper she barely recognized.
“Not yet,” he said. “Not yet.”
He lowered his head, kissing her neck, kissing a trail along her collarbone, and down to the swell of her breasts. Then he shifted, taking her nipple into his mouth, sucking it in deep before tracing it with the tip of his tongue. The pleasure that sparked along her veins was shocking, white-hot and almost terrifying in its intensity. There was so much more to making love than a simple caress, and still, this had nearly burned her to the ground. How would she survive at all?
She wouldn’t. Not the same.
Nothing passed through the fire and came out the same. But at this point, she didn’t want to. She wanted to be changed. By him. Irrevocably, eternally.
He continued his exploration, peppering kisses over her stomach, encircling her belly button with the soft stroke of his tongue before traveling downward. “You see, cara mia, were I to take my clothes off, I would not be able to resist sinking inside of you. And you deserve more than that. You deserve for me to take my time. As I told you in the library, once I’m very deep within you I will not be able to hold myself back. And so, your pleasure must come first. Now.”
He gripped her hips, drawing her toward his mouth, her thighs spread wide as he pressed