He picked up his clear mug of coffee and turned it until the light coming from outside the plane window caught hold of the amber liquid, setting it ablaze. “One must make light of these things. Otherwise, it’s all darkness, isn’t it?”
“Some things are only dark, I fear.”
He shrugged, taking another drink. “They don’t have to be.”
“How did your parents die?”
The question struck him. She genuinely didn’t know. But then, it stood to reason. She’d had no idea who he was when they had first met. Rare was the person who didn’t know his entire family history before introducing themselves to him. She was an odd creature. And her cleverness was still off-putting. But he found small pieces of her to be a breath of fresh air he hadn’t realized he’d been craving.
“They died in a car accident,” he said. “They were having one of their legendary fights. Fueled by alcohol, drugs and a sexual affair. Basically, all of their favorite things combined into one great fiery ball of doom.”
“Oh. That’s awful.”
“Yes. I suppose it is. But I was very young. And not much a part of their lives.” He did his best to keep the memories of that night from crowding in. Snowy. The roads filled with ice. His parents shrieking obscenities. And a small boy standing out in the cold, looking lost and lonely. “I find them a tragedy. A cautionary tale. I might be a bit jaded, but I’m not a total libertine. I suppose I have their tragedy to thank for that.”
She nodded, as though she completely understood what he was talking about. He had no doubt she had little experience of libertines outside the pages of a book.
“If it weren’t for my parents,” she said, her words coming slowly, “who knows how I would be? It is their example that has kept me so firmly planted in the estate in Aceena. It’s their example that has caused me to crave a quieter existence.”
That surprised him. It seemed she did understand. At least a little bit better than he had guessed she might. A little bit better than most.
All of his siblings had started life with the same parents he had, and yet he had been the only one affected in quite this way.
His twin brothers were hellions. They were playboys who lived their lives entirely as they saw fit. At least, they had been before their respective true loves had come into their lives.
But always, they had lived with much more passion than Alex ever had. Even now that they had settled down, they continued to live with more passion and emotion than Alex would ever consider.
“Everything makes much more sense if you see life as a business,” he said, speaking the thought before he had decided he would.
“Do you think so?”
He nodded. “Yes. Business is sensible. Everyone is in it to make money. That’s the bottom line. Because of that, everyone’s motives are transparent from the beginning. They’re going to serve themselves. Sometimes favors are traded. Contracts are drawn up, terms are met.”
“A bit more clear-cut than people,” she said.
“I’ve always found it slightly strange that divorce is much easier than breaking a business contract. If people took marriage as seriously as they took business deals, the world would be a different place.” He leaned back in his chair. “Of course, you could go about metaphorically hopping into bed with other partners after taking on exclusive deals with another. But you would quickly lose your credibility, and your business with it. It wouldn’t serve your bottom line. Personal relationships are much more murky. There is no common bottom line. I find that disturbing.”
“I see what you’re saying,” she said. “I hadn’t thought about it that way. But then, I suppose it’s because I don’t have a head for business.”
“What is it you have a head for, Gabby?”
She bristled at the nickname. “Books, I suppose.”
“What sorts of books?”
“All sorts.”
His eyes narrowed. “You said you liked genealogy.”
“Yes. I do. I’m very interested in my family history. I find it completely fascinating. I believe that history contains truths. I mean, history goes beyond what’s been published in the media. What the press reports...that isn’t real history.”
“I suppose the granddaughter of some of the world’s most infamous disgraced royals would feel that way.”
She lifted her shoulder, an unconscious gesture she seemed to do a lot. She had a very delicate frame; whether in glasses or ill-fitting clothing, that couldn’t be denied. She was like a strange, old-fashioned doll.
He was rather disturbed by the part of him that felt compelled to lean in and pull her from the shelf, so to speak.
“I suppose I would,” she said. “But that isn’t why I’m doing this. I quite like the idea of uncovering the truth, in an unbiased fashion.”
“And so you study your family history.”
“Yes.”
Her eyes had grown brighter when the subject was introduced. Strangely, he found he quite liked it. It was very interesting to make conversation with a woman about something other than shallow topics. And in this instance, it had been quite easy. Was she truly so different?
It made him wonder if the women he conversed with were actually as shallow as he imagined or if they thought him to be shallow. Strange that it should matter to him at all. It shouldn’t. Not when he purposefully kept those interactions as meaningless as possible.
He kept a wall between himself and others, using all manner of methods, and limited conversation with his lovers was one of those methods.
It didn’t matter what he thought of them. It didn’t matter what they thought of him. It only mattered how it felt when they were in bed.
“You will find this trip back to your homeland fascinating, then.”
He wanted to try out a bit more of that excitement. He wondered what it must be like, to possess that level of enthusiasm. God knew he no longer had the ability. He had seen what happened with passion. Had seen it firsthand when his parents were killed, lost forever in a storm of twisted steel and broken glass. He had no desire to be a part of anything like that. He led with his mind. He had relationships that were mutually beneficial for both parties involved.
They never ended in screams and accusations of infidelity. No. He always gave his women a gift, made sure he complimented their beauty, lied about how diverting he found their company and promised to cherish their time together always and to remember them fondly.
He never did.
The moment they walked out of his bedroom he forgot their names. He simply didn’t possess the capacity to care about people with any real depth. At least, people outside of his family.
He couldn’t see the value in it. He could only see the cost.
“I expect it will be wonderful. My grandmother has told me stories about the old family estates. About the palaces. But I’ve never been to see them myself. All I’ve ever seen are old, faded pictures.”
“Why exactly was the royal family expelled from the country?”
“Oh, there are a great many rumors of unfair taxation. Of my great-grandfather being a tyrant. Greedy. But I’m not entirely convinced. And certainly, that isn’t my grandmother’s take on the situation. Regardless, there was an uprising and the family had to escape in the dead of night. They’re lucky to have escaped with their lives. Most royal families don’t make out quite so well during violent depositions.”
“You speak the truth there.”
“I