He shrugged, the movement stiff. ‘I don’t have any family. And my friends know I don’t like to receive anything, so they don’t expect anything in return.’
‘But how do you celebrate Christmas, then?’ she asked, shock giving way to astonishment and an odd sense of sadness. She didn’t have any family any more either, not since her mother had died. Her father was still alive, but she’d given up on him years ago. Even so she’d filled the gap with a wide circle of friends—and Christmas had always been the perfect time to catch up and enjoy each other’s company. She loved the ritual of the season, the sense of love and companionship she shared with the important people in her life. How could you really participate in that without the giving and receiving of gifts? They didn’t have to be expensive. She’d splurged this year because she’d had a couple of successful commissions and had begun to make a name for herself as an illustrator. But she could still remember previous years when all she’d been able to afford were home-made stuff or bargain gifts, and she’d still enjoyed doing her Christmas list just as much.
‘Simple,’ he said, his voice devoid of emotion. ‘I don’t celebrate Christmas.’
‘You don’t …’ She paused, nonplussed by the blank look on his face.
Of course she knew there were people who hated Christmas, usually for specific reasons. It could be a stressful time, especially when your family life wasn’t great. And whatever Ms Tremall had meant all those years ago by a ‘bad home’ she suspected Jace’s family life might have been the opposite of great. But he didn’t sound as if he hated Christmas, just as if he were indifferent to it. Which somehow seemed even sadder.
‘But you must have celebrated it with your wife?’ she asked, her skin flushing a little at the boldness of the question.
She hadn’t meant to probe. She knew however curious she was about his past, she didn’t really have the right to ask him personal questions, but instead of clamming up as he had before, he simply leant back in his chair and studied her for a moment.
‘We weren’t married that long,’ he commented. ‘You know, if there’s something you want to ask me about my marriage, why don’t you just ask?’
Her skin heated. Had she been that obvious? Clearly, she had been if the implacable look in his eyes was anything to go by.
But despite feeling exposed, despite knowing she’d been caught asking something that was none of her business, and despite being certain that Jace’s offer to ask him about his marriage was disingenuous, the rapid ticks of Cassie’s heartbeat rose in her throat and she recalled the look in his ex-wife’s face five days ago. And admitted to herself that the naked pain in Helen’s gaze had niggled at the back of her mind ever since that day.
‘All right, I have got something to ask,’ she said softly, forcing the question out before she could stop herself. ‘Did you love Helen when you married her?’
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