He stumbled over the thought in his mind.
He loved Molly. He couldn’t say for sure when it had happened. Maybe he’d loved her since the first night he’d come back and she’d dropped all her barriers and let him see the real woman. Or maybe he’d loved her since he’d first seen her dark eyes and chestnut braids.
“I’m glad you feel at home,” she said. “You always kept a part of yourself isolated when you lived here before.”
“I know. I’ve been afraid to trust another person. It’s easier at NASA because it’s all about rank and performance, but this—” he gestured to the two of them “—this is scary because the last time I thought of home like this was before my mom died.”
She nodded. “It’s different for me. This has always been my home. It’s hard for me to imagine being anywhere else. But you’ve always wanted to leave, even when you were a kid, to get out there in the stars. I can understand it, but it’s hard for me to figure out how we could be together if you’re still able to go on missions. You’d be gone for such long periods of time.”
“It would be hard,” he admitted. But it was his life. He loved Molly and he loved space. He didn’t think he could choose between them. If his health forced him to be grounded, it would be easier in some ways. The decision would be out of his hands. But something deep inside of him felt that he had improved enough, that the exercises and treatments Dr. Tomlin had prescribed had done their job. And that would leave him in a situation he never thought he’d be facing.
“So what are we going to do?” she asked.
“Just keep on the way we have been for the last month. Nothing has changed. I brought it up...well, it doesn’t matter. I made a commitment to you and the facility and I’m going to keep it no matter what the tests show,” he said.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
He had this one moment where his conscience battled with him. He loved Molly.
Love.
He couldn’t remember the last person he’d loved. His mom, he supposed, but that was so long ago she’d faded into a distant memory and sometimes he couldn’t remember her face. But Molly was here before him. Standing there looking very unlike herself with her arms wrapped around her waist.
She needed him. He had a chance to become like the strong, caring men he admired. But he’d have to give up his dream.
Wasn’t that what love was?
Sacrifice?
He didn’t know for sure, but he made his choice. “I’m positive.”
* * *
TWINKLE LIGHTS AND tiki torches illuminated the dock area and beach around the pond later that evening. Music, laughter and raised voices filled the air. Molly wandered among the ranch hands, construction crew and astronauts who’d come out for the party. She hadn’t seen Jason in the last thirty minutes, but that was okay.
They had spent a lot of time alone today before everyone had arrived. She was worried she’d forced him into a decision he’d come to regret.
“What are you doing over here looking all pouty, sunshine?” Rina asked as she came up to Molly and handed her a plastic margarita glass.
She took a sip of the frozen strawberry goodness. “I think I might have manipulated Jason today to do something he doesn’t want to.”
“Damn, girl, I wasn’t ready for that,” Rina said. “I thought you were sad that the facility would be opening soon.”
It was the end of the Bar T Ranch she’d always known, but she’d made her peace with that. “Change is inevitable, right?”
“Yes, it is. So what happened with you and Ace?” Rina asked.
The two women moved away from the party area down the path where there was a bench nestled under a willow tree. “Remember when I used to think no one could find me here?”
“I do,” Rina said. “It was your spot. Your dad told me how you and your mom used to spend time under this willow.”
“We did. I always think of her when I come here. I wonder what she’d say about all this,” Molly said.
“She’d be proud of you. You’ve done what was needed to keep the ranch in the family and you are making it a place for future generations,” Rina said.
Molly wondered if that was true or if Rina was just saying what she thought she needed to hear. The truth was someplace in between, Molly reckoned.
“So...” Rina said, taking another sip. “What did you do?”
Molly finished her margarita and sat down on the bench.
“Jason is feeling better. He thinks...he thinks that going on another mission might not be out of the question for him.”
“Was it ever?” Rina asked, coming over to sit down next to her.
“Yes. He has been part of an experiment for bone-density loss. It’s called spaceflight osteopenia. When we went to Houston right before we won the bid, the doctor saw him and the news wasn’t good. He thought he’d never go back to space. So he started considering a future with me and the ranch...”
“Well, damn.”
“Exactly. And today...well, today he tried talking to me about it, but I was all like it’s me or the moon.” She groaned, embarrassed. “I used to be afraid he would leave. No, I would think, what if Jason goes on his mission and when he comes back he doesn’t want this or me anymore?” she said. God, she hadn’t realized that was what she’d been feeling, but now that the words were out she felt freer.
Rina hugged her close and rubbed her back. “All I know is that love doesn’t come if you force it. If that boy loves you, then he won’t be able to go into space unless he knows you’ll be here for him when he returns.”
“You think so?” Molly asked.
“I do.” They sat for a few minutes in silence. “I guess we should go back to the party,” Rina said finally.
“We should.”
She followed Rina through the branches of the willow and up the path only to run into Jason coming down.
“I was looking for you,” he said. He wore a pair of tight-fitting jeans and a dress shirt, along with a Stetson she’d never seen before. He had two glasses in one hand, a bottle of Maker’s Mark in the other.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” Rina said, walking past him.
“I was hiding out.”
“Under the willow?” he asked, draping the arm with the glasses over her shoulder.
Everyone knew her secret spot, she thought, and was reminded again that on the ranch there were no true secrets.
“Yes.”
“Good, let’s go there now. I want to be alone with you.”
He led her back under the willow tree. The music from the party was softer here. He put the glasses down on the bench with the whiskey bottle and drew her into his arms.
She started to speak, but he put his finger over her lips. “No more talking. I want to dance with my woman.”
He pulled her close, one arm wrapped around her waist, and took her right hand in his left. The radio was playing Sara Evans’s “I Could Not Ask For More.”
Jason swayed with her, singing under his breath along with the music. She felt her heart melt and fell even more in love with him. And she knew that she could never be the reason this man didn’t go for his dreams. That as much as she needed him here by her side, she needed him to be happy.
She rested her head against his chest and sang along