‘I think that might have been Penny’s attempt at humour,’ Jed said, but she could feel his eyes on her, knew he was trying to talk to her, but as she had all day she did her best to avoid him.
Jasmine actually thought she had when she finally finished for the day and went to pick Simon up. But heading over to the crèche she found Jed at the vending machine outside.
‘I’ll come over later.’
‘You know I don’t want that. I don’t want to confuse Simon.’
‘We’re not going to make out on the sofa,’ Jed said. ‘And I’m not going to stay the night till you think he’s ready for that, but I do want to talk to you. You’re nearly in tears and I don’t get why. What happened at your old job?’ He could see the blush on her cheeks but she said nothing, instead walked past him to pick up Simon.
Simon was happy and scruffy after a day in the sandpit and Jasmine knew that it was time to face things, that she and Jed could not keep skirting around the edges.
Here in her hands was the living proof of an exceptionally difficult relationship, here was the baggage she carried, and yet it felt right in her arms.
She had to be able to talk about it with someone she trusted.
And she had to start trusting Jed.
He was still waiting for her when she headed outside.
‘About six?’
‘He’ll still be up.’
‘I don’t mind, or I can come over around nine if that’s what you’d prefer?’ She longed to let Jed closer but she just couldn’t take any chances with Simon.
‘About nine.’
Simon wasn’t at his sunniest and her mum dropped over too. It was just one of those disorganised evenings, not helped by a disorganised brain thanks to the day’s events. Jasmine had just got Simon down and was sorting out his bag for the next day when she heard a knock at the door and looked up to see that it was already a quarter past nine.
‘I wouldn’t have got here at six anyway,’ Jed said, following her through to the kitchen. ‘I only just got away. It’s still busy there.’
‘Who’s on?’
‘Rex!’ Jed rolled his eyes. ‘And Penny’s still hovering. I swear she never sleeps.’
‘Do you want something to eat?’
‘Are you going to cook for me?’ Jed grinned.
‘No,’ Jasmine said, ‘but if you’re nice I might defrost something.’
Actually, she did cook. Well, she made some pasta and defrosted some sauce and it was possibly their most normal night together. He ate a large bowl while Jasmine got things ready for the next day. Perhaps realising she wasn’t ready to talk yet, he chatted a bit more about himself, telling her a bit about his siblings and their families.
‘Don’t you miss them?’
‘A lot.’
‘So how come you moved down here?’
‘Just …’ Jed shrugged. He knew he had to tell her, but there would be time for all that later—he wasn’t here for himself tonight. He could see that she was still upset, see her hands shake a little as she folded some washing and then finally joined him.
‘You got upset in Resus today.’
‘I didn’t.’
‘Jasmine?’
‘I just get annoyed when people don’t check valuables properly,’ she attempted. ‘Everyone bangs on about how important it is and then if something goes missing …’
‘People are busy.’
‘I know that.’
‘I heard you speaking to that paramedic,’ Jed admitted, and he watched as she closed her eyes. ‘Jasmine, did something happen at your old job?’
‘No,’ she broke in. ‘Jed, please …’ And then she started to cry. ‘I found out that my husband was stealing from patients.’ It was so awful to say it, to admit to it. She’d made it so huge in her mind that she half expected him to stand up and walk out, but of course he didn’t. Instead, he took both her hands.
‘Come on.’ He was very kind and very firm but he wasn’t going to leave it. ‘Tell me what happened.’
‘I don’t know where to start,’ she said. ‘There was an unconscious patient apparently and there was a lot of money missing.’ She knew she wasn’t making much sense, so she just told him everything.
‘Lloyd,’ Jasmine said. ‘Simon’s father, he was a paramedic. We really got on, but then everyone did with Lloyd. He was very popular. We went out for about three months and—’ she couldn’t really look at that time properly ‘—I thought everything was fantastic at first,’ she admitted. ‘But I know now that it wasn’t because I was being lied to even then. I didn’t know but there had been a report put in about him.’
‘You can’t know if someone doesn’t tell you,’ Jed pointed out.
‘I know that, but it wasn’t just that he didn’t tell me.’ She took a deep breath, because if she was going to tell him some of it, then she had better tell him all. ‘Remember I told you that I can’t take the Pill?’ She blushed as she had the first time she’d told him. ‘Well, we were careless.’ She went really red then, not with embarrassment, more with anger. ‘Actually, no, we weren’t. I know it takes two, but I think he was the one who was careless.’
‘Jasmine.’ Jed was completely honest. ‘I nearly forgot our first time.’
‘I know,’ she admitted. ‘But even if you had, I’ve got a coil now, so it wouldn’t matter. It was more that I didn’t forget.’ She looked at Jed, she knew how they had lost it in bed together, but she never had till him. ‘I reminded him, I tried to stop him. I don’t know, I can’t prove that, but there was an accident, and I found I was pregnant and not sure I wanted to be. I was just so confused and yet he was delighted. He insisted we get married and and then we took three months off to see Australia. As he said, to have loads of fun before the baby. I had lots of annual leave saved up.’
She couldn’t even look at Jed as she went on. ‘What Lloyd hadn’t told me was that he was under investigation for stealing from a patient. It was all kept confidential so not even his colleagues knew, but another patient had come forward with a complaint and they’d placed Lloyd on three months’ paid suspension. We were swanning around Australia and I had no idea.’
‘When did he tell you?’
‘He didn’t,’ Jasmine admitted. ‘I went back to work. I was coming up for six months pregnant by then and he told me that he had another month off and then he started to talk about how, given I love my work, why didn’t we think about him staying home to look after the baby? Every word that man said to me was a lie.’ She could feel her anger rising as it did whenever she thought about him and wondered, as she often did, if he’d got her pregnant deliberately.
‘So how did you find out?’
‘The other paramedics were a bit cool with me,’ Jasmine admitted. ‘They’re a pretty honourable lot, they don’t take kindly to what Lloyd did and there was I, chatting with them like I used to, about our holiday, about things, and then one of my friends pulled me aside and said it might be better if I didn’t rub things in.’ She started to cry. ‘She said it was fine if I could accept what he’d done, but it was a bit much for them to hear about us having fun with his suspension pay. He’d been fired by then and I didn’t even know.’
‘Oh, Jasmine.’
‘He said that as his wife I should have supported him, but the fact is