Will you please be quiet and mind your own business, you insufferable witch! “I was being generous and giving, Mother. A notion you may not be familiar with.”
“What do you look like now? Without your hair, you have nothing left. Nothing!”
“Why, thank you, Mother. As a matter of fact, you’re probably right. It’s short, cropped close to the head, and now that the weight is gone from it, it’s sprung like a thousand demented pogo sticks on crack.”
“Oh my God. It sounds gruesome!”
“Yes, Mother. I’d have to say that’s exactly how it looks.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you’re reclusive. No one has to see you.”
“Yes, Mother, I’m saving the world by staying indoors.”
“You don’t have any awards ceremonies or anything coming up do you, dear?”
Will you please be quiet and mind your own business, you insufferable witch! “No, Mother. But thanks for pointing that out for me. It makes me feel a hell of a lot better to know I won’t be offending anyone while not getting any attention or accolades for my work.”
“Yes, dear. Glad I could help.”
Sarcasm was lost on the woman. “Do you have anything else to say to me, Mother? I’ve got a lot on my plate right now.”
“Oh, please, Janine. Don’t start overeating, too. Between your hair, your plummeting career and your difficult son, you don’t want to add to your misfortune by making yourself overweight!”
Will you please be quiet and mind your own business, you insufferable witch! “I was talking metaphorically, not foodwise. I’ve got a lot of problems on my plate right now, Mother. And Craig is not difficult, Mother. He’s the perfect kid. So before you start ripping him apart like you do me, my advice is to say goodbye and hang up the phone before I give you a little piece of my mind on your parenting abilities.”
“No reason to get yourself in a huff, dear.”
“Yes, Mother, there is. You can say whatever you like about me, but when you cross the line and talk about my son, you’re overstepping your bounds, and you’d be wise to back off.”
“But I…”
Will you please be quiet and mind your own business, you insufferable witch! “Back off, Mother, and say goodbye.”
The older woman sighed. “Okay, Janine. I don’t know why you have to turn everything into a fight. I was only trying to give you advice based on some of my many years as a—”
“Goodbye, Mother,” she said as she hung up the phone on her mother, mid-sentence.
She hadn’t noticed that the music had stopped. Nor did she see Craig come out of his room, sliding along the hallway to the kitchen in his socks; so she was startled when he spoke. “You okay, Mom?”
Janine nodded. “Yes. I’m fine.”
“I heard everything,” he said gently. “I didn’t mean to, but when you knocked on my door, I thought the phone was for me so I listened in.”
“It’s okay.”
“Thanks for sticking up for me.”
She nodded.
“I’m sorry about what I said before.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, Mom. It’s not. You’re nothing like Grandma.”
A snort of air came from Janine’s nose. “That’s a relief.”
They stood in silence, neither knowing what to say next.
“Why do you let her talk to you that way, Mom?”
She shrugged. “Why fight it? It just extends the conversation. I’ve learned long ago to let her have her say and not argue. Arguing only prolongs the agony.”
He nodded.
She looked at her son. Really looked at him. “I don’t want you to ever think that way about me, Craig. I want you to be able to talk to me.”
“I can, Mom.”
She smiled sadly at the most important person in her world—the only important person in her world. “Will you let me know if I ever get too overbearing and you can’t express yourself to me? Because the day that happens will be the day I’ve destroyed the best thing in my life.”
He looked at the floor, stubbing his toe at some invisible mark. “Yeah, I’ll let you know.”
CHAPTER 5
The sunlight streamed across her face, and the sound of an ambulance screaming outside her window woke her up from her troubled sleep. Looking around, she saw that she wasn’t in prison for tax evasion, but was still in her own home. Thank God it was only a dream. A nightmare, really.
She pulled herself out of bed, threw on a robe and stumbled to the kitchen for her morning jolt of caffeine. Passing the table, she looked for the pad and found her morning note from Craig.
Not yet, Mom. I can still take ya!?
Don’t let Grandma get you down.
You’re smart, talented, and beautiful in my eyes!?
Smiling, she was glad he couldn’t see her at that moment. She looked down at the old, worn terry-cloth robe with pulls and stains, and fingered her dirty hair. He wouldn’t find her so beautiful right now. But perhaps she was wrong. When he had bed-head and crusts of sleep in his just-wakened eyes, she found him quite adorable. Beautiful. The only time she found him more beautiful was when he was sleeping. Because when he was asleep, he was without any defenses. He was her son, her child, the being she had given life to—pure and open. He was still her baby when he slept.
She looked down at the pad again and smiled. How could her mother think this boy was anything but terrific? Look at the sweet message he’d left her, knowing she was stressed and tired and feeling crappy about herself.
She shuffled over to Mr. Coffee, measured out some coffee and thought of her son as she stood there waiting for the pot to fill. The heavenly aroma filled the small, drab kitchen, and she found renewed strength in the blissful fragrance. When the trickling sound ended, she poured herself a cup and padded back to her room, mug in hand, to get her e-mail messages. Once she’d responded to anything urgent (like hopefully the response from her agent Sid), she’d get to her walking.
She logged on and brought up her e-mail program, sipping the hot coffee while waiting for the messages to come through. Looking for anything important, she was a bit miffed that she hadn’t heard from Sid. “Damn it! When I was making money hand over fist for the man, he answered my e-mails within minutes!” Lately, if she heard back from him within a week, she felt honored. “Has my latest work been that stinky?” she wondered aloud as she deleted the mortgage offers, the porn-site insertions, and the other nonpersonal spam that flooded her in-box. Feeling depression start to sink in, she put on her mannish-looking walking shoes and sports bra—no use having anything droop further, time and gravity were doing enough to help in that department—and climbed aboard her treadmill.
She popped in the videotape of Family Feud that Craig had recorded for her daily and started walking. Family Feud was on twice each weekday, which made one hour of tape. If she timed it right, she could walk about forty-five minutes worth in an hour. If she was lucky. The time discrepancy was due to her usual pit stops—which she took every ten to fifteen minutes or so. Having a bladder the size of a thimble, she could only get about a quarter mile done—tops—before she needed a bathroom break.
“House! HOUSE, you moron! How can you not say house?” she yelled at the doofusy-looking man on her TV screen. “Where do you live? In