“There isn’t really any question, is there?” Dr. Walker added.
Not regarding which sealed bid to accept, maybe, but Emily had plenty of questions, doubts and uncertainties.
The company was offering incredible upgrades that the clinic couldn’t otherwise afford. How could Kevin afford to be so generous? Surely his fledgling company didn’t have this kind of money to donate. And from the way he’d reacted to seeing her at Laura and Bryan’s wedding, he wasn’t trying to win her over again. Surely I’m just imagining this. Kevin doesn’t want to be near me any more than I want him around. He wouldn’t do this.
There was no question but that she wanted the clinic to flourish. She wanted to help their patients. And despite her and Kevin’s history, she wished him every success, both personally and professionally. She just didn’t like the idea of their goals being mutually dependent.
Turning her mind back to the meeting, she concentrated on the discussion. Others expressed gratitude at the upgrades, and Emily added suspiciously, “Can we trust his word on that?” The faces around the table looked puzzled by her sudden lack of enthusiasm. “It’s just—I’m merely concerned that we be sure the company will follow through once it has the job in hand. Well, it does seem determined to win this bid, doesn’t it? Question is, how many promises would the company make in order to get the job?”
Everyone began talking at once, and Bob leaned close. “You know something about this company, Em? I’ve never seen you so feisty. To be honest, I like it.”
“What’s wrong, Bob? Did the new receptionist break your date?” She edged away.
He smiled. “Come on, have dinner with me. No one need find out.”
Emily looked around the table, then turned her head so that only Bob could hear. “I think you’re making a big mistake, Bob. Your third strike with me was two receptionists and six months ago. One more, and you’ll strike yourself out of the clinic, as well.”
The doctor sobered, and leaned back in his chair, nonchalantly pretending he hadn’t heard anything she’d said. That was fine with her. Just so he understood.
Emily let her mind wander back to Kevin as the board’s discussion progressed without her.
Thirty minutes later the chief of staff spun his pen on the chipped tabletop. “I think it’s obvious that number two believes in our mission. Unless there’s any disagreement, I’ll share our feelings with the board and let them make the announcement.” All present turned and looked at Emily, anticipating another argument.
What if it’s not Kevin? Can I take that chance? She shook her head.
As the others made their way through the conference room door, she opened the folder again, looking more carefully for some inkling of proof. Could Kevin believe in the clinic’s mission? She saw no evidence, but decided he deserved a chance. She thought back to their conversation at the wedding. Trust me, Emily. We will see each other again. Kevin had gloated. But why did he want this job?
Unfortunately, her emotional struggle would have to be sacrificed for the good of the patients. She would learn to ignore Kevin, and his charming antics.
Silently edging her way past the board members, Emily considered Kevin’s possible motives. Whatever his reasons, one thing was for sure: when Kevin MacIntyre went after something, there was no stopping him….
She recalled the weeks he had spent trying to convince her to go on that first date with him. Flowers, phone calls, surprising her between classes. Yes, Kevin MacIntyre could write the book on charm.
Emily wondered how she’d face him each day, then rallied. It’s over now. We’ve both moved on. If he gets the job, well, if I can work with Bob, I can surely handle Kevin. I have to. The clinic’s future depends on this renovation.
Emily returned to her office. If the staff needed her, they wouldn’t hesitate to call. She needed a minute to breathe. Time to collect herself and banish Kevin MacIntyre from her thoughts—if only temporarily.
Emily closed her office door behind her and leaned against it. Dear God, help me. I don’t think I can handle this alone—
The phone rang, and she knew her moment of reprieve was over. She took two calls, then began seeing patients.
Twelve hours later, Emily pulled into her garage. She walked into the house, dropped her purse and collapsed on the sofa. Ignoring the blinking light on the answering machine, she set her pager on the end table and closed her eyes. She flipped her shoes onto the floor and propped her ankles on the arm of the couch.
It was days like this when she asked herself what she was thinking when she gave up the man she loved for that miraculous acceptance into medical school. And the answer was always the same. She had been thinking of her mother’s struggle to provide for her and her sisters when their father walked out. She had been thinking of Katarina’s hearing loss. Of the people she wanted to help. The last person she’d been thinking of was Kevin—the one person she should have considered more.
Her stomach growled, proclaiming that the salad she ate for lunch was long gone. She was famished. Dragging her fatigued body off the couch, Emily rummaged through the cupboard until she found a can of beef stew. The wind howled outside as a winter storm moved in from the west; snow was already sticking to the streets. Thank goodness I’m not on call tonight, she thought. Emily dumped the stew into the pan, turned on the burner, then simply stared at it, waiting for it to boil.
Kevin’s words had haunted her for the past two weeks. We can both be happy that you realized your career was more important than a family before it was too late. They stung because after years of wondering, she finally knew why Kevin hadn’t come after her. He felt she’d abandoned their dreams for a job. That truth was especially difficult after days like today. Days that started before seven and didn’t end when the office closed. Days that melded, one into the other. Days when crises happened nonstop.
Help me to remember that it’s not for my own glory, Father, but for Yours.
Emily couldn’t accept credit for the many decisions that had led her through the last few years. For without Him, she couldn’t have survived it at all. Medical school, internship, finding a clinic whose mission fit so perfectly with her own. It was nothing short of a miracle, finding her way back to Springville, Colorado. Or so she’d thought.
Until she saw Kevin MacIntyre standing in her patient’s hospital room.
Until her past caught up with the present and threatened to crush her future.
Until Kevin made her realize she couldn’t “have it all.”
There were countless days when she wished for all the things that he’d accused her of rejecting for her career. Times when she longed for the serenity of a man’s loving embrace. Nights when she dreamed of her own children. And still she battled daily with the green monster, envying women who had mastered that delicate balance between career and family. There were even moments when she cursed the day he had walked away. And days when she wondered if Kevin had ever felt the same.
Her eyes burned with tears she refused to shed.
It appeared she now had the answer. He’d moved on with his life. And on, and on, obviously not letting their broken promises slow his social life any. It appeared her mother was right. Kevin was like her father: a fifties type of man, who wanted his woman to raise the children and have dinner ready at six o’clock. Kevin MacIntyre was definitely not the man to offer support throughout her demanding career.
Snow swirled around the parking lot and drifted along the curb. Kevin closed the door of his short-bed pickup, ready to work out with Bryan at the gym before heading home. Cranky and ready to burn off some frustration, Kevin stepped through the glass doors and headed for the lockers.
“Hi,