‘As none of this is relevant to service dogs, shall we get cracking?’
Esme narrowed her eyes as if she was staring straight at the chip on his shoulder. Oh, hell. She wasn’t actually going to try to wheedle some Christmas cheer out of him, was she? To his surprise, she gave him a nod that indicated she knew exactly what he was talking about. That she understood pain and loss and everything that came along with it but she, unlike him, was trying to muddle through to the light at the end of the tunnel.
It was the type of look that made him wonder if his approach—no light, no tunnel—was a bit too blunt. He was the first to look away.
‘Right, then.’ Esme clapped her hands together and pointed to the displays. ‘Why don’t you two get a lead each and some treats? The dogs already have specialist collars that we’d like you to use. They’ve tried and approved of pretty much all of the treats on the wall, so take your pick.’
Max noticed Esme sending him a curious look after another round of victory air punches from Euan. He moved in closer, lowered his voice, his eyes flicking to Euan as he spoke. ‘The kid’s had a rough ride. That’s why I didn’t tell him about staying at the castle. I like to keep expectations low. Makes anything good that happens a welcome change.’
‘Ha!’ Esme laughed. ‘That’s my policy when it comes to men!’
‘Good policy,’ Max said darkly. He didn’t like the thought of her with other men. He also didn’t like that he didn’t like it. He shouldn’t care and he did. Which was precisely why keeping Esme at arm’s length—further if possible—was the only way he’d get through this. Basic training had been easier.
Esme shot him a look so full of hurt he knew she’d taken it the wrong way. Before he could fix it, Margaret bounced through the double doors and cheerfully interjected, ‘You ready, boss?’
Esme gave herself a little shake as if it would flick the pain away. ‘Absolutely. It’s time for Fenella and Euan to meet their dogs in real life.’
As she turned to go there was only one thought in his mind: This was a woman he would never allow to walk away. Which was why letting her think he was a bastard was for the best.
Now that Esme had properly humiliated herself in front of Max, she was as grateful to be around the dogs as she was hoping Euan and Fenella would be. Normally this was her favourite part—introducing the dogs to their new companions. This time, though, she was still stinging from Max’s glowering response to her dating comment.
What had he been trying to say? That she’d always disappoint? That she’d never be enough? Hurt became anger. How dared he? He didn’t know her. Another Harding MacMillan. She scowled. At least he didn’t seem to want anything from her.
Against her better judgement, she glanced at him. He looked away.
Oh, yes. She’d read the comment right. He had no time for her except when it suited him. At least his affection for Fenella and Euan seemed genuine.
She snorted. Honest like a dog. She loved dogs, and dogs were trainable so—
No. Don’t even go there.
‘Any chance we’re going to get this show on the road?’
Humph! Impatient like a dog.
‘If you’ll follow me,’ Esme snipped. Margaret went to fetch the dogs as Esme showed Euan and Fenella into a large room that was a bit like a sports hall. Big, airy, more than enough room for a large group of dogs to be trained and, of course, for their new owners to learn how to handle them.
‘Now, a word of warning—mostly to Max rather than the two of you,’ Esme began. ‘No offence.’
He put his hands up. None taken. Of course. He was ex-military. He could take it. Then again, the look on his face when Euan had fist bumped him. It was as if he’d won the lottery. There was definitely a big old softie lurking under that tough-guy exterior of his. Probably just as well it didn’t extend to her.
She forced herself into work mode.
‘Right! In a wee while we’ll give Max a dog too, so he can experience the same training as you are. First things first, though…your dogs are precisely that. Your dogs. They need to bond with you and only you.’
She scanned the small group again, her confidence growing as her professionalism came back into play.
‘The most important thing to remember when you meet your dog is that you are their new best friend and you are going to establish a bond that, up until this point, they’ve only had with their trainer. Margaret and I are the main handlers, but we tend to raise a lot of the puppies down in the village so that they grow up in a home environment. They’ve been well socialised. What that means is you are going to have to make extra-sure that the praise they seek is yours. That the only treats they receive are from you. That the cuddles they want are from you. So this means, no matter how much you want to spread the love with Max…’
Her eyes flicked to his and she instantly wished they hadn’t. Spread the love? Was she mad? No. She needed to make her own point now that he’d made his.
‘You can’t. No treats. No cuddles. Nothing.’
There. Line drawn.
If Esme was trying to make a point, Max heard it. Loud and clear. Any chemistry he might’ve felt humming between the two of them had run its course. Fair enough. He’d been a jerk. She wasn’t one to beg. Good for her. Too bad he hadn’t had that same ability back when he’d kept hoping his stepdad would finally realise he was a good kid, or that he had been hallucinating when his fiancée had told him there was someone else. Someone worth loving. He felt a scowl form. Being here was reopening a whole ream of memories he’d hoped to never revisit.
He made himself tune back into what Esme was saying.
‘Are you ready for me to bring the dogs in?’
Euan and Fenella were so excited he thought their heads would pop off if they nodded any more vigorously. Even he had to admit it was pretty damn sweet. When Margaret brought the dogs in, it was all he could do to keep the tears at bay. And that was saying something.
Margaret dropped the lead to the biggest of the two dogs and said, ‘Go, Nora. Go to Fenella!’
Fenella dropped to her knees and immediately embraced the large, creamy-haired goldendoodle. ‘You’re absolutely gorgeous, aren’t you lovely? Look, Max! Isn’t she gorgeous? No, I mean don’t look. She’s all mine!’ Then she burst into giggles and dug into her pocket to give Nora a treat. Nora took it then licked Fenella’s face.
There it was. A forever bond made in a second.
Euan was equally over the moon. Max had thought the lad would’ve tried to put on more of a cavalier attitude. Pretend he kind of liked the dog. But when the big old bandy-legged golden Lab bounded over to him and offered a paw? Instant love.
Max gave his jaw a rub then shoved his hand through his hair, willing the scrubbing on his scalp to keep the bottleneck of feelings exactly where it should be. Suppressed. Churning away in his gut. Wherever. Anywhere but on display.
‘It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it?’ Esme had appeared by his side without him noticing. Little magical Christmas nymph that she was. She probably had elf dust or something like that in the small treat pouches she had hanging off her belt. ‘I always cry.’
He looked down at her and, sure enough, she was wiping away a couple of tears. One glistening liquid diamond from each eye.
‘How do you do it?’