“I know. I need to expand the herd a little more, but not so much that it’s unmanageable.”
He wanted to ask if she’d thought about their conversation, the advice he’d given her. He might not know much about goats, but he did know business, and the principles of selling were universal.
“Will you keep any of the kids?” he asked.
“Probably not. I’d rather expand the bloodline. I know a few breeders. I might be able to work a trade.”
She finished with Athena. The goat stepped away. The next took her place. Heidi carefully washed the udders before starting to milk again.
“If you still have the name of that guy, I’m willing to sell the steers,” she said, concentrating on her work.
“I’ll call him. He was available to come by this week.”
“Good.”
Heidi worked efficiently, neither of them speaking. What had happened before—the kiss—hung between them.
He wasn’t sure why he’d done it. He wanted to say it was because she’d been there and he hadn’t had anything better to do. But he knew that was a lie. He’d wanted to kiss Heidi. He’d wanted to know what she felt like in his arms. He’d wanted to touch her and taste her. Now that he’d kissed her, he wanted more. Which was why he’d called Nina back and confirmed his date. Because Heidi wasn’t part of his plan, and he doubted she was the type to have sex because it felt good. She would want more, and he’d given up on more a long time ago.
“About the other night…” he began.
Her hands slowed, then picked up speed.
“I didn’t mean to make things awkward between us.”
“Too bad,” she said, still not looking at him. “Because if that had been your goal, you could be happy now.”
“You’re pissed.”
“No. I’m confused. Tell me about Nina, the matchmaker. Did you really hire someone to find you a wife? Do you know what century we’re living in?”
“I hire the best. She’s the best.”
She turned to him. “You can’t get your own girl?”
“I tried that once. It didn’t work.”
She returned her attention to the milking, finishing with the second goat. The third took her place.
“I was married before,” he admitted. “We were young and in love and we got married. I thought everything was fine. Then one day, she said she didn’t love me anymore, and left. I kept waiting to feel devastated or humiliated. All I felt was relief that we hadn’t had kids. So that was the end, and I was left thinking there should be more to it. But I guess there isn’t.”
Love was an illusion—an excuse for people to get into relationships. Something he didn’t need.
“So why get married again?”
“I want kids. I’m traditional enough to believe that, in a perfect world, there are two parents.”
“Let me guess,” she said. “You want Nina to find you the right sort of woman. Educated, probably with a career, but not one that takes up too much of her time. You’re willing to let her work, but you’d prefer it if she would stay home with the kids. Smart, but not too smart. Pretty, but you’re not interested in beautiful. She should be entertaining and talk about current events. Someone who won’t stray. You plan on being faithful, but you don’t expect her to touch your heart. You’re saving what’s left of it for your children. Oh, you’ll settle for two, but you’d really like three. And a dog.”
Rafe stayed where he was, which took a whole lot more effort than it should have. He felt as if she had cut him open and laid him bare for everyone to see. She’d managed to reduce the sum of him and his wants to a mockable list. How had she guessed? He’d always been told he was tough to read. Was he showing his cards, or did she have some kind of insight? Even his mother hadn’t been able to guess all of that.
“You don’t approve.”
“I don’t have an opinion,” she told him. “I guess the part I don’t understand is wanting to spend your life with someone you’re not in love with.”
“Love is an illusion.”
“You’re wrong about that. Love is very real and it’s dangerous. People do crazy things in the name of love. Bad things. Love is powerful and shouldn’t be played with. So, when do you get to meet the first of your candidates?”
“In a couple of days.”
Heidi glanced at him. “She’s coming to Fool’s Gold? For a date?”
He shrugged. “I tried to put Nina off, but she said it wasn’t a problem.”
“That’s because you’re quite the catch, Rafe.”
She wasn’t exactly laughing, but he saw the humor in her eyes. When they’d first met, he’d been in control of everything going on around him. Somehow that had shifted. He felt as if he were walking on floating logs, and in danger of slipping and falling. It wasn’t a sensation he enjoyed.
“Will we get to meet her?” she asked.
“No.”
With that he stalked out of the goat house and headed back for the kitchen. He had a fence line to finish and a company to run. As for Heidi, he’d been wrong to think he’d offended her by kissing her. She was a lot less fragile than he’d thought. In fact, she was a formidable opponent. He was done playing nice. After all, he was in Fool’s Gold for only one reason, and that was to win.
* * *
HEIDI CARRIED THE MILK into the kitchen. She’d already seen Rafe heading out to work, so she knew she was safe. Thank goodness. She wasn’t sure she could stomach another encounter with him today. The last one had nearly done her in.
Everything about their relationship was unfair. How tall he was, how sexy, the way his smile made her feel weak in the knees. And that had been with her sitting down. Imagine if she’d been standing.
It was the kiss, she thought, as she poured the milk into containers and then put them in the second refrigerator in the mudroom. The way he’d touched her and made her feel. Now she knew the possibilities, and she couldn’t make herself forget them. While he was busy looking for his perfect wife, she was left wanting more kisses followed by long, languid nights in his bed.
She had a feeling she’d guessed right about the kind of woman he was looking for. Coming up with the list had been easy. She’d simply imagined everything she wasn’t.
She told herself it didn’t matter. That when she and Glen won their case, May and Rafe would return to San Francisco. She would forget all about this interruption of her regularly scheduled life, and all would be well.
She poured herself a cup of coffee and walked through to the living room. She’d barely swallowed her first sip when she was brought to a halt by the sound of soft laughter. Soft, intimate laughter. She heard Glen’s voice coming from his room. Seconds later, May answered. Also in his room.
No, no, no, she thought, freezing in place, like a mouse caught out in the open. Not already. They couldn’t be… She’d warned May, had talked to her grandfather. They were old enough to know better.
She backed into the kitchen and sank into a chair by the table. Now what? If Glen broke May’s heart, then they were in serious trouble. An angry May could have a fair amount of sway with the judge. Heidi was going to have to have a serious talk with him again, and then go look for someone else who would be on her side. Even if that meant having to deal with the one person she most wanted to avoid.
* * *
IT