Nathaniel was very much afraid he was infatuated with her, maybe worse.
As he lay there in the dark, battling emotions he had kept locked away for so long, his chest ached and his eyes burned. Damn Ophelia. Damn the storm. If things hadn’t gotten all jacked up, perhaps he could gradually have tested the waters with Dani.
Instead, here they were, thrust together in a faux environment. His sex hardened and his breathing grew ragged. What would it be like to take her here in his bed? Did she even have a boyfriend?
It stunned him to realize he didn’t know the answer to that question. In the midst of his fantasies lay the grim realization he was probably the last person on the planet to whom Dani Meadows would turn for a relationship.
In little more than a week, they would both be back at New Century Tech, hard at work, each easing into familiar roles. Could he bear it? After having her here, just down the hall, would he be able to treat her like an employee again?
At 3:00 a.m., he climbed out of bed. He was only torturing himself by trying to sleep. In his sock feet, he tiptoed down the hall and listened at the guest room door. Not a sound emanated from within, though a tiny strip of light showed underneath the door.
He tapped quietly. “Dani. Are you awake?”
No answer. Any one of a number of possibilities came to mind. Dani might have fallen asleep exhausted and left a light on unintentionally. Or perhaps it was on so she could check the baby easily.
He shouldn’t open the door. Every rule or law of hospitality expressly forbade it. Not to mention the fact that he and Dani had parted on angry terms.
Nathaniel turned the knob anyway.
The room was empty.
He stood there in the middle of the expensive plush carpet with his mouth agape. The bathroom door was open. No sense peering in there. Dani would have been talking to the baby if they were in residence. He liked how she communicated with the kid as if Peaches could understand every word.
Clearly, Dani had managed to slip quietly past Nathaniel’s bedroom without him hearing a single thing.
Undaunted in his quest, he did an about-face and headed for the den. There he found a scene that gripped his heart and wouldn’t let go.
Somehow, maybe while the baby slept, Dani had retrieved the small tree from the dining room and returned it to the place of honor beside the dancing orange and yellow flames. A simple cotton afghan was spread at the base of the tree. The baby slept peacefully on her tummy, one fist curled against her cheek.
Dani wasn’t asleep at all. She sat on the stone hearth, elbows on her knees, fingers steepled beneath her chin. Wearing only his shirt that reached almost to her knees, she was barelegged and gorgeous. The misery on her face made his chest hurt.
He took the end of the sofa nearest the fireplace and leaned forward to face her. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“No, you’re not.” Dani’s cold certainty was worse than her anger. “You meant every word you said. The only reason you have any regrets now is because we’re stuck with each other for at least another thirty-six hours, maybe more.”
“Will you cut me some slack?” he pleaded.
“Why? Why should I?”
Who knew that blue eyes could freeze a man? He swallowed. “I don’t know if I can explain.”
“Try me.” Perhaps she wasn’t completely calm. She jumped to her feet and wrapped her arms around her waist, standing beside their small, fragrant Christmas tree and staring at it intently as if it had the power to provide answers to difficult questions.
She was so beautiful and yet so far away. He had put that emotional distance between them. Because he was scared. “Look at me, Dani.” He stood as well, but he didn’t pace. This was too important.
Slowly, she turned to face him. He couldn’t read her expression. The woman who was usually open and without artifice had locked her emotions in a deep freeze. “You’re the boss,” she quipped, her tone deliberately inflammatory.
“This isn’t easy for me,” he said. The words felt like sand in his throat.
That chin wobble thing happened again. Dani’s jaw worked as if she were trying not to cry. “Today is the worst Christmas I’ve ever had,” she whispered. “And that’s counting the one when my mom was in the hospital with pneumonia and my father burned the turkey. So don’t talk to me about easy.”
He bowed his head, tormented by guilt, wracked by indecision. No bolt of divine intervention came to save him. With a deep ragged breath, he managed to look at her straight on without flinching. “I’m becoming obsessed with you, Dani...and that scares the hell out of me. I don’t know what to do.”
“You probably ate too much,” she taunted. “Indigestion passes. Grab an antacid. You’ll be fine.”
“Don’t be flip,” he growled. “I’m serious. All I can think about is kissing you to see where it takes us.”
As it had earlier in the dining room, every scrap of color drained from Dani’s face, leaving her pale. “You don’t want to kiss me, not really. You think I’ll ruin your life.”
“Of course I want to kiss you, but that won’t be the end of it. You’re in my head, damn it. And in my gut. I can’t sleep.” He paused, his forehead damp and his hands clammy. In desperation, he said the one thing that a woman like Dani might respond to favorably. “I need you, Dani. Badly.”
Almost in slow motion, he reached out and took her hand in his. She looked at him with an expression that was three parts fear and one part the same burning curiosity tearing him apart. If she had shown the slightest resistance, he would have stopped instantly.
Instead, she took a step toward him. “Nathaniel.” The way she said his name, husky and sweet, was his undoing. He dragged her against his chest and held her so tightly she laughed softly.
“I have to breathe,” she said.
Releasing her a millimeter, he sighed. “I’ll breathe for both of us.” He rested his chin on top of her head, feeling the silky, caramel-taffy waves tickle his middle-of-the-night beard. “Tell me to stop,” he pleaded hoarsely.
“I won’t.” She licked the pulse beating at the base of his throat. “But I won’t be accused of seduction, though. If we do this, it’s all on you, Mr. Winston. Maybe you should think long and hard before you do something you’ll regret.”
Her schoolmarmish admonishment only made him more desperate. How could she stand there and be so cool? “I’m already long and hard,” he complained. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”
* * *
Dani felt ill. For months and months, she had wondered what it would be like to have Nathaniel look at her the way a man looks at a woman he desires. Well, now she knew. And it wasn’t good.
Her boss didn’t want to want her. Somehow that was a thousand times worse than the strict professionalism he showed her in their working relationship.
It took everything she had to pull away from him and back up when all she wanted to do was rip off his clothes. “I’m serious, Nathaniel. Do we have a physical spark—yes, but you’re giving me mixed signals. Heaven knows that might be the understatement of the year. I’m a grown woman. I have needs, too. We’re snowed in together with nothing to distract us. It stands to reason we might feel something. That doesn’t mean we have to act on it.”
“I said I was sorry for earlier.” His gaze was stormy and hot with male intent.
“Sorry, maybe. But you spoke the truth. What could possibly induce me to do something so reckless and self-destructive?”