‘Then maybe you should return and I’ll come later,’ Allegra countered. ‘Why must we rush things? We could at least get to know one another first...’
‘With me in Palermo and you here? No.’ Rafael shook his head, resolute. She would just find an excuse to stay in New York. The thought, stupidly, hurt. ‘I want you where I can see you, Allegra. Where I can protect you and take care of you and our son.’ His voice thickened, much to his shame. ‘That is important to me.’
Her expression softened as her silvery gaze swept over him. ‘You have far more of a protective streak than I ever realised.’
‘I do. I don’t want to let you or our child down.’
‘And you’re afraid you will?’
‘No.’ He rose from his desk, determined to end this conversation. It had all got stupidly emotional, and he hated that. He didn’t do emotion. It was for the weak. He’d learned that to his eternal cost with his father, when he’d goaded him with his childish complaints. When he hadn’t been able to stop what had happened next. Enough. There was nothing to be gained by thinking of that now. ‘I will never let that happen, Allegra. At least in that, you can trust me.’
* * *
Allegra sat down across from her mother, her expression resigned and set.
‘You’re what?’ Jennifer Wells screeched.
‘I’m going to Sicily,’ Allegra answered. ‘With the father of my child.’
‘But you don’t even know him.’
‘I know he’ll take care of me and our son.’ That was at least one aspect of Rafael’s character that she was sure of. It had been three days since Rafael had issued his ultimatum, and Allegra had spent those days thinking long and hard about her future. Their future. When the further tests with a neonatal cardiologist had revealed the extent of their son’s heart defect, which wasn’t as simple as they’d hoped but still within the realm of good news, her choice felt even more limited.
She couldn’t do this alone. She’d lived most of her life in determined independence, chosen isolation, loneliness, but she couldn’t do this by herself, and she didn’t even want to. But even more importantly she didn’t want Rafael or her son to miss out. She’d been denied her father’s presence in her life from the time she was twelve. Could she wilfully deny her son the chance to know his father, and Rafael the chance to know his son?
It would be the height of selfish cruelty to choose self-preservation over her family. Because it was a matter of self-preservation. Rafael held a power over her, one she didn’t fully understand. She was attracted to him physically, of course, but she’d felt stirrings of something even deeper. When he held her...when he’d felt the baby kick...if she let herself, she could start to care for him, and that would be a disaster. Because there was every chance Rafael would walk away from her as her father had. But he wouldn’t, she prayed, walk away from their son.
And so she’d told Rafael she would go to Sicily, but she wouldn’t marry him—not yet, anyway. They needed to get to know one another before she made actual vows, agreed to that level of commitment. To her surprise, Rafael had acquiesced. Tersely, but still. She’d been half expecting him to frog-march her down the aisle.
Then yesterday she’d gone to her apartment and packed up what she’d wanted to take, which had been surprisingly little. Looking around the tiny space, she wondered at how she had ever thought she could have managed there with a baby. And yet how she was going to manage in this strange new life in Sicily? So much was unknown.
‘I can’t believe you’re doing this, Allegra.’ Jennifer’s voice rang out in censure. ‘This stranger...running away with him? Have you thought this through at all?’
‘Yes, and it makes sense,’ Allegra answered. ‘Considering the alternatives.’ She felt weary right down to her toes, and tomorrow evening they were leaving for Palermo. She’d already handed in her notice for her job, said goodbye to Anton, who had been her friend and boss for nearly ten years. He’d kissed her on both cheeks with tears in his eyes.
‘Is Vitali being...difficult?’ Jennifer asked after a moment. She looked on edge.
‘Pragmatic,’ Allegra said, even as she wondered why she was being loyal to Rafael. Perhaps because, in his own hard way, he was being loyal to her. And whether she liked it or not, they were a family now. ‘As am I.’
‘You remember what I told you about his father?’ Jennifer said, and now she sounded diffident.
‘He did business with my father and it didn’t work out, you said.’ But it was more than that. Blood on his hands. What had happened? How much did it matter? She couldn’t ask Rafael now; things between them were tense enough.
‘Yes, and your father didn’t trust him.’ Jennifer expelled a breath. ‘I don’t know the details, of course, but there has to be a reason for that. I got the sense that there might have been something...’ She paused, pursing her lips. ‘Criminal involved.’
‘Criminal?’ Allegra stared at her, appalled by this new revelation. ‘What do you mean exactly?’
Jennifer shrugged, her gaze siding away. ‘I don’t really know, but soon after they did business Vitali went broke. He lost everything, and narrowly avoided prison. That’s...that’s all I know. Perhaps it’s better buried in the past.’
It was more than Allegra had ever known, and underscored how little she knew Rafael or his history. How little he’d told her. She’d have to ask sometime, and while she didn’t look forward to that conversation, she needed to know what she was getting into. What their child was getting into. She needed to trust Rafael...yet how could she, when she didn’t know him? When she didn’t like to trust anyone?
‘That might be so,’ Allegra told her mother, ‘but Rafael has his own business and I really don’t think it involves any criminal activities.’ At least she hoped not.
‘But you can’t be sure.’
‘No.’ She couldn’t, Allegra knew with a pang of true fear, be sure about anything.
ALLEGRA GAZED OUT the window of the passenger jet at the hard blue sky, not a cloud in sight, and tried to bolster her courage as well as calm her seething nerves. They were due to land in Palermo in less than an hour, and after a sleepless night in the first-class cabin she felt exhausted and overwhelmed.
‘Do you need anything?’ Rafael asked as he looked up from his tablet where he’d been scanning the morning news. ‘Herbal tea? A hot compress?’
‘I’m fine.’ He’d been all solicitousness for the flight, but it was a formal, distant concern that set Allegra’s nerves on edge. She felt like his patient, or perhaps his possession. Maybe both. And she was conscious, more than ever, of how much she’d left behind. Her job. Her life. Freedom and independence.
‘How far is your villa from the airport?’ she asked, and Rafael put his tablet aside.
‘About an hour. A limo will pick us up.’
She nodded, gripping the armrests, wishing she felt more at ease. More confident that she was doing the right thing. She’d be living in the lap of luxury after all. Rafael had promised her just about anything she wanted. And yet...he could be such a hard man. Even when he was being kind there was a distance to him, a remoteness that made her uneasy. And she knew no one in Sicily other than him. Their baby wasn’t due for over four months. What would she do all day? Could she be happy?
‘Please don’t worry,’ Rafael murmured, resting one long, lean hand on top of hers. ‘It will all be fine.’
Allegra nodded again. Rafael squeezed her hand, and the simple touch had the