“Yes,” she whispered. “Thank you.”
She lay there, enormously and inexplicably comforted by the touch of that hard hand, so warm and strong. Her eyes slowly closed, and she gradually relaxed. The night terrors didn’t come. He kept them firmly at bay with the strong, steady clasp of his hand around hers. Everything was going to be all right. Another wave of exhaustion swept over her, and she was asleep with the suddenness of a light turning off.
* * *
GRANT WOKE BEFORE DAWN, his senses instantly alert. He knew where he was, and he knew what time it was; his uncanny sixth sense could pinpoint the time within a few minutes. The normal night sounds of the jungle told him that they were safe, that there was no other human nearby. He knew immediately the identity of the other person in the tent with him. He knew that he couldn’t move, and he even knew why: Jane was asleep on top of him.
He really didn’t mind being used as a bed. She was soft and warm, and there was a female smell to her that made his nostrils flare in appreciation. The softness of her breasts against him felt good. That special, unmistakable softness never left a man’s mind, hovering forever in his memory once he’d felt the fullness of a woman against him. It had been a long time since he’d slept with a woman, and he’d forgotten how good it could feel. He’d had sex—finding an available woman was no problem—but those encounters had been casual, just for the sake of the physical act. Once it was finished, he hadn’t been inclined to linger. This past year, especially, he’d been disinclined to tolerate anyone else’s presence. He’d spent a lot of time alone, like an injured animal licking its wounds; his mind and his soul had been filled with death. He’d spent so much time in the shadows that he didn’t know if he’d ever find the sunlight again, but he’d been trying. The sweet, hot Tennessee sun had healed his body, but there was still an icy darkness in his mind.
Given that, given his acute awareness of his surroundings, even in sleep, how had Jane gotten on top of him without waking him? This was the second time she’d gotten close to him without disturbing him, and he didn’t like it. A year ago, she couldn’t have twitched without alerting him.
She moved then, sighing a little in her sleep. One of her arms was around his neck, her face pressed into his chest, her warm breath stirring the curls of hair in the low neckline of his undershirt. She lay on him as bonelessly as a cat, her soft body conforming to the hard contours of his. Her legs were tangled with his, her hair draped across his bare shoulder and arm. His body hardened despite his almost savage irritation with himself, and slowly his arms came up to hold her, his hands sliding over her supple back. He could have her if he wanted her. The highly specialized training he’d received had taught him how to deal excruciating pain to another human being, but a side benefit to that knowledge was that he also knew how to give pleasure. He knew all the tender, sensitive places of her body, knew how to excite nerves that she probably didn’t even know she had. Beyond that, he knew how to control his own responses, how to prolong a sensual encounter until his partner had been completely satisfied.
The sure knowledge that he could have her ate at him, filling his mind with images and sensations. Within ten minutes he could have her begging him for it, and he’d be inside her, clasped by those long, sleek, dancer’s legs. The only thing that stopped him was the almost childlike trust with which she slept curled on top of him. She slept as if she felt utterly safe, as if he could protect her from anything. Trust. His life had been short on trust for so many years that it startled him to find someone who could trust so easily and completely. He was uncomfortable with it, but at the same time it felt good, almost as good as her body in his arms. So he lay there staring into the darkness, holding her as she slept, the bitter blackness of his thoughts contrasting with the warm, elusive sweetness of two bodies pressed together in quiet rest.
When the first faint light began to filter through the trees, he shifted his hand to her shoulder and shook her lightly. “Jane, wake up.”
She muttered something unintelligible and burrowed against him, hiding her face against his neck. He shifted gently to his side, easing her onto the blanket. Her arms still hung around his neck, and she tightened her grip as if afraid of falling. “Wait! Don’t go,” she said urgently, and the sound of her own voice woke her. She opened her eyes, blinking owlishly at him. “Oh. Is it morning?”
“Yes, it’s morning. Do you think you could let me up?”
Confused, she stared at him, then seemed to realize that she was still clinging around his neck. She dropped her arms as if scalded, and though the light was too dim for him to be certain, he thought that her cheeks darkened with a blush. “I’m sorry,” she apologized.
He was free, yet oddly reluctant to leave the small enclosure of the tent. His left arm was still under her neck, pillowing her head. The need to touch her was overwhelming, guiding his hand under the fabric of her shirt, which was actually his. He flattened his hand against her bare stomach. His fingers and palm luxuriated in the warm silkiness of her skin, tantalized by the knowledge that even richer tactile pleasures waited both above and below where his hand now rested.
Jane felt her breathing hasten in rhythm, and her heartbeat lurched from the slow, even tempo of sleep to an almost frantic pace. “Grant?” she asked hesitantly. His hand simply rested on her stomach, but she could feel her breasts tightening in anticipation, her nipples puckering. A restless ache stirred to life inside her. It was the same empty need that she’d felt when she’d stood almost naked in his arms, in the middle of the stream, and let him touch her with a raw sensuality that she’d never before experienced. She was a little afraid of that need, and a little afraid of the man who created it with his touch, who leaned over her so intently.
Her only sexual experience had been with her husband. The lack of success in that area of their marriage had severely limited what she knew, leaving her almost completely unawakened, even disinterested. Chris had given her no useful standard, for there was no comparison at all between her ex-husband—a kind, cheerful man, slender and only a few inches taller than she was—and this big, rough, muscular warrior. Chris was totally civilized; Grant wasn’t civilized at all. If he took her, would he control his fearsome strength, or would he dominate her completely? Perhaps that was what frightened her most of all, because the greatest struggle of her life had been for independence: for freedom from fear, and from the overprotectiveness of her parents. She’d fought so hard and so long for control of her life that it was scary now to realize that she was totally at Grant’s mercy. None of the training she’d had in self-defense was of any use against him; she had no defense at all. All she could do was trust him.
“Don’t be afraid,” he said evenly. “I’m not a rapist.”
“I know.” A killer, perhaps, but not a rapist. “I trust you,” she whispered, and laid her hand against his stubbled jaw.
He gave a small, cynical laugh. “Don’t trust me too much, honey. I want you pretty badly, and waking up with you in my arms is straining my good intentions to the limit.” But he turned his head and pressed a quick kiss into the tender palm of the hand that caressed his cheek. “Come on, let’s get moving. I feel like a sitting duck in this tent, now that it’s daylight.”
He heaved himself into a sitting position and reached for his boots, tugging them on and lacing them up with quick, expert movements. Jane was slower to sit up, her entire body protesting. She yawned and shoved her tangled hair back from her face, then put on her own boots. Grant had already left the tent by the time she finished, and she crawled after him. Once on her feet, she stretched her aching muscles, then touched her toes several times to limber up. While she was doing that, Grant swiftly dismantled the tent. He accomplished that in so short a time that she could only blink at him in amazement. In only a moment the tent was once more folded into an impossibly small bundle and stored in his backpack, with the thin blanket rolled up beside it.
“Any more goodies in that bottomless pack of yours?” he asked. “If not, we eat field rations.”
“That