He glowered. ‘I almost missed you when you slipped out tonight. We had no idea you’d had contact with him. It must have been during that damnable walk in the park. I couldn’t leave the horses.’ He looked at her for confirmation and she nodded. ‘If I hadn’t known that walk of yours, the determined tilt of your chin, I might not have guessed who you were tonight.’
He frowned. ‘You risked my child.’ He brushed his knuckles down the line of her jaw. ‘I would have been at pointe non plus right now if you had not stopped under the light.’
Guilt clenched her stomach. He was right. She had risked their child. She hadn’t given it a thought. All she could think of was Garrick. She should have known something was wrong. Impetuosity always had been her downfall. ‘Thank God you did know it was me.’
His eyebrow flew up.
‘But Garrick, Le Clere said you sold secrets to the French. And those men?’ The catch in her voice betrayed her efforts to appear calm. ‘Who were they?’
‘The two men Dan placed here are from my old regiment. Known as “sweeps”, they do all of the army’s dirty work. Reconnoitring, spying, cleaning up the messes left by the redcoats. The Frenchmen are friends of mine. They followed Le Clere from France and had the inn surrounded before we arrived. I thought I could handle Le Clere alone. They were waiting outside for a signal from me.’
His mouth quirked up in the cynical smile she had realised he used to hide his feelings. ‘It was very nearly a bullet in my brain that brought them in on us.’
She couldn’t prevent a shudder.
He looked at her as if surprised. ‘Would you have cared, mignonette?’
‘How can you ask? How did you come to be involved with these men? Frenchmen, Garrick.’
He hesitated, his eyes shuttered against her. Her heart sank. What web of lies would he spin?
‘Chérie,’ he answered, soft and low, ‘these are not my secrets to tell.’
‘I am your wife. If you can’t trust me, there is no more to be said.’ She started to rise.
‘What then, ma perle? Will you send me away again?’ He sounded bitter.
It was hopeless. She began to move away, but his low voice continued and she sank back down. He was staring at the hearth as if seeing events unfolding in the cold ashes.
‘I bought a commission in a regiment after I saw you at Castlefield, as you probably know. The Ninety-Fifth. It’s not one of the most glamorous regiments and the work is dangerous. It suited my mood.’
He leaned forwards, elbows on his knees. ‘You know what I feared I had done.’
‘You are innocent. William has the letter. I’m so sorry.’
‘I know. Sissy told Dan and he told me.’
She thought he’d be pleased, but it seemed to make him sadder, more remote as if he was already lost to her. Could she blame him? After all, she had trapped him in a marriage he didn’t want. She wanted to reached out, but didn’t dare, kept her hands clenched in her lap.
‘You saw Le Clere. That blood runs in my veins.’ He looked sickened. ‘I hoped I would be killed and end the damned curse. Indeed, when I first joined the regiment I cared so little for my own safety, men called me the mad Marquess.’ He smiled, but there was no joy in it, just bleak satisfaction.
She shivered.
‘I liked army life. The danger kept my mind off other things.’
‘What things?’ It was foolish to ask, and she couldn’t keep the hope out of her voice.
He glanced up. ‘You.’ It was said so simply, without anger or accusation, that she felt his pain. She forced herself to remain still, much as she wanted to kneel at his feet and beg forgiveness.
Once more he sat silent and gathered his thoughts, staring into the past. Finally, he continued in the same low tone.
‘Then the rumours started. I’d ruined a virtuous lady. Beaten a youth to within an inch of his life. They were muttered behind my back, and sometimes hinted at to my face. Slowly, my friends among my brother officers dwindled away. They believed it. No smoke without fire, eh, chérie?’
She winced. He would never forgive William for starting those rumours or her for believing them. How could he? If only she’d trusted her heart. ‘Go on.’
‘During that time my French background came to the attention of a certain man on the general’s staff. You will forgive me if I do not give you his name. The fact that I had little care for my own personal safety also suited his plans. Briefly, I was recruited as a spy, but not by the French.’ He smiled grimly. ‘For England. I was honoured to be chosen. It was, and is, a very important task. But it has some drawbacks.’ He laughed softly.
Wishing she could comfort him, Eleanor reached out. He saw her hand, but didn’t take it, keeping his gaze fixed on the fireplace as if he couldn’t bear to look at her face.
‘It was the hardest thing I ever had to do…almost.’ He gave her a look of such raw agony, she knew instinctively he was referring to the day he had walked away from Castlefield Hall. Her heart shrank painfully small. She felt his hurt with pain of her own. The pain of regret.
‘I sold out. Complained I’d been passed over for promotion.’ He shook his head. ‘My fellow officers suspected me of more cowardice. All but Dan, poor lad, cut me dead.’ This time his smile was warm.
‘I became a malcontent. Half-French, bitter at England and highly placed. The perfect material for use by England’s enemy. Unfortunately, I was seen in France by a captured English officer. More rumours made the rounds. Not a bad thing as a smokescreen, but if I became a pariah, I would lose my usefulness to the French. We arranged for the Prince of Wales to befriend me—after all, who would speak out against Prinny’s closest companion without proof? The French were delighted with the development. The Prince thought it a great joke. Able to move freely in France, I rallied the few remaining loyalists. Some of whom you saw tonight. I still hold the rank of Major in the British army. Not that it will ever be acknowledged.’
That hurt him. She could hear it in his voice. ‘Garrick, I—’
He winced and held up his hand, his face stark, his eyes clouded by inner storms. ‘As a spy, I had access to many resources, here and abroad. I discovered your brother was the source of the rumours about what I had done to you. It didn’t come as a surprise. I was just glad he never let fall your name. For that I would have been forced to take his life.’
The chill determination in his face sent a shiver down her back.
He took a deep breath, as if forcing himself to go on. ‘Over the years, I thought about the letter’s disappearance.’ He laughed, a bitter, self-disparaging sound. ‘I’m such a bloody romantic, I thought you’d tried to save my worthless skin by hiding it.’
She should have trusted him as her heart had demanded. Her vision blurred. ‘I wish I’d thought of it.’ Her voice caught.
He looked up. ‘Ellie, don’t, please. Let me finish. With Napoleon imprisoned on Elba, I thought the war was over. It was time to put my personal affairs in order.’
‘But why were you so set on recovering the letter, if you thought it proved your guilt?’
This was the moment Garrick had feared most. He could not draw back. He had committed to telling her everything.
He hung his head. He’d thought revenge would ease the pain. All it had done was make things worse between him and Ellie.
‘I sought you out with the express purpose of finding the letter and accusing your brother of protecting a murderer.’ He could