“Yeah, well it feels like it’s me. Heck, no one’s asking for my number or seems particularly interested, so...” Jamie let her voice trail.
Cole had run his hands through his hair. “I get it. You want to be noticed. But people notice you. Right now, I bet there’s some poor guy wishing you’d look at him. I’d rather you talk with him than one of these drunken varsity kids. Sometimes guys can take advantage.” Then he peered at her through thick lashes. “What are you waiting for anyway? A kiss is no big deal.”
She’d ignored his last question. “You’re one of those varsity kids. Are you taking advantage of me?” she asked.
“Unlike you, I haven’t been drinking. And you’re Reed’s little sister. It’s different.”
“Great. Just what I need. Another big brother. I keep going like this and I’ll never get my first kiss.”
Cole groaned. “Just stop. It’ll happen. You know, when you’re at college. Far away from anywhere Matt can kick someone’s ass.”
She’d licked her lips nervously and gathered every ounce of bravery she possessed. “Or maybe you could do it.”
His eyes had locked with hers, but he’d shaken his head. “No can do, Jamison.”
“It’s Jamie. And why not? You obviously know what you’re doing if Rebecca Watts can be believed. And you said it yourself, it’s not like it means anything. I’m not going to be some dopey girl that chases after you. And bonus, not like I’ll be chasing you around begging you to do it again.”
She had been lying through her teeth of course. Because sometimes when she was all alone, she wondered what it would be like to kiss him. It was silly. He never even noticed her other than as competition. She could count on one hand the number of one-on-one interactions they’d had. But she’d always been hyperaware of him.
“If you do it, I’ll stay away from jocks at parties and I’ll stop pretending to drink.” Beer tasted like piss to her. “I just want to know.”
Cole swallowed hard, his brows furrowed. “If I do this, you never tell Matt? And you stop trying to make out with varsity assholes.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“And promise me. No more even holding a can of beer. And beware of frat boys bearing fruit punch. You understand me? You’re way too trusting.”
“Deal.”
Cole shook his head and patted the carpet next to him. “It’ll be easier if you sit. Because you’re practically puppet-sized.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I am not.”
“Uh-huh.” When she sat, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she relished his warmth. “You want the guy to treat you like you’re special. Be gentle with you. Never coming on too strong, okay?”
She nodded. Taking mental notes. “Got it.”
Then Cole had caressed a cheek with his thumb and cupped the back of her neck under her hair and angled her head. Her heart was thundering so loud, she could barely hear him when he spoke.
“Okay. I’m pretending it’s not you, Jamison.”
Her first kiss had turned molten hot in seconds as he schooled her in how to kiss. How she should expect to be touched. Everything had been so gentle, passionate, and she wanted more.
Blood rushing in her head and heart hammering, she’d decided to take matters into her own hands. She pulled back, and he frowned but let her go easily. “Are you okay?”
At first all she could manage was a nod. But then she blurted. “Yeah, but I want you to really kiss me. I know you’re holding back.”
Cole tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Jamison. You don’t want—”
“Yes, I do. Or some other guy is going to teach me and he won’t have my best interest at heart...” When it looked like he might not kiss her properly, she pushed herself into a crouch and levered herself onto his lap facing him. “Please show me.”
“I—” Then he sighed and kissed her again. The second time around hadn’t been quite so gentle. His lips had been far more urgent, his hand skimming up her tank top to run his thumbs just over her ribs. The tease of his thumb over each ridge sent a shiver through her body.
His hand clamped on her hips and he set the tempo of the kiss and their rocking bodies.
The sensations zipping through her body weren’t just new. Try explosive and mind changing. She knew she couldn’t go back. Not to boring, bland her. Not when she knew it was possible to feel this way.
The tingles wrapped around her spinal chord tight and forced her muscles to bunch. Forced her body to arch, searching for...something.
Cole kissed her deep. His hand on her hip moving her until their bodies rocked into each other again and again. But then he threw his head back against the wall and tucked her against him.
She’d tried to ask him why he stopped. Or what she’d done wrong. The evidence of his arousal was hard to miss. And the idea that she’d managed to excite him was heady. But when she tried to talk, he hushed her, then held her for what felt like an eternity.
They didn’t move until the sounds of the party were in full swing. Then he’d gently lifted her away. His motions stiff and jerky. “You okay?”
She lied as smoothly as she could. “Yeah, I’m fine. You?”
“To tell you the truth, I have no idea.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t—”
He’d kissed her forehead then. “You have zero reason to be sorry. None. Let’s go.”
He’d taken her out of the closet and it seemed like everyone had forgotten the game. She left that room with him feeling anxious and curious. But the longing was most prevalent.
That party had marked the beginning of winter break. And considering her parents had dragged them to Saint Louis that Christmas, she hadn’t seen him again until the following January.
And then it was like it never happened. She wasn’t sure exactly how these things should go, but he was silent. The weird part was, he ignored everyone. Quit track, didn’t run soccer and left all his academic clubs. She’d easily made valedictorian after that. Not exactly how she’d wanted to do it. It was obvious something was wrong. But the one time she’d tried to approach him, he’d looked through her. Like she didn’t exist. She hadn’t tried again. And now, he was playing savior to her damsel in distress? How the heck was she supposed to survive a day with him, let alone ten days?
Jamie was a Christmas-decorating expert. A pro short on time, so, she did the basics. Stuck some battery-operated candles in the windows, put up the wreaths. Strung some garlands and pinned a few snowflakes to the ceiling. She pulled out the nativity scene to place under the tree.
It only took her about an hour after the tree had arrived. The whole time Cole had been absent. She hadn’t seen a glimpse of him since he’d brought her in. After she was done, she settled in to get some work done. Working, for her, was like going into another zone. She didn’t even like people around because it messed with her flow too much. She usually employed noise-canceling headphones and played nature sounds. She changed to music once she got her groove. Today, for sure, called for Christmas music.
After picking her spot on the couch, and setting up the router configuration, she was pretty much up and running. She was so deep into issues to mark for fixing that she didn’t notice when Cole had come out from one of the rooms down the other hallway.
It