In his head, he cursed his weakness, yet somehow couldn’t stop himself from wondering if it really would be so bad to remain one more day.
The stew was ready, the dumplings almost cooked and Cassie’s mind was going around and around in circles. What had she been thinking, inviting a strange man for dinner? What on earth would the villagers say if they discovered that little titbit? It did not do to be the subject of wagging tongues in such a small place. Hopefully, given the weather, it was unlikely for anyone to be passing her cottage after dark.
In her heart, she’d known all of that and yet still she’d issued her invitation. There was something about him that made her think the man was lonelier than he would care to admit. After his kindness to the girls, it was only right that she should make him welcome.
She eyed the table Lucy and Diana had decorated with sprigs of holly. It looked cheerful. Cosy. She had even decided to use two of her beeswax candles in the candelabra for the occasion. She glanced at the clock and saw it was almost five. If she did not want to be caught in her apron again, she must make haste.
She ran up the stairs to her small chamber at the front of the cottage where she washed and changed into her Sunday-best gown. A glance at herself in the small cracked glass she had purchased in the market reminded her of her shortcomings, her dowdy appearance, her fulsome-to-overflowing figure. She heaved a short sigh. She was fooling herself if she thought he found her more than passably attractive. Likely his kisses had been spur of the moment, brought on by the spirit of the holiday season. They meant nothing. She touched a finger to her mouth, remembering the feel of his lips on hers.
So pleasurably shocking.
Would he kiss her again this evening? And if so, what would she do? Her heart raced. Dare she take what she wanted from this man before he went on his way? She wanted to. Widows were known to take lovers. To be bold and wanton. Was that why he had accepted her invitation tonight, when yesterday she thought he might not?
Was it really only the day before yesterday she had met him for the first time? She felt as if she had known him all her life, yet she knew nothing about him. Settling her cap upon hair drawn back in a neat tight bun, she crossed the small landing to the other chamber where the girls slept and did their lessons.
‘You look lovely, Mama,’ Lucy said.
Cassie hugged her daughter. ‘So do you.’
Diana raised her arms and Cassie picked her up and bussed her on the cheek. ‘Thank you for helping Diana dress, Lucy.’ With the ease of long practice, for Clifford had not believed in spending coin on a lady’s maid or governess when he had a wife to make herself useful, she tightened their lacings and brushed their pretty hair until it shone. ‘Red or blue ribbons?’ she asked.
‘Red,’ Lucy decided. ‘To match the holly.’
Cassie smiled at Diana. ‘Dearest?’ Cassie did not make the mistake of taking her youngest child’s choice for granted.
‘Red,’ Diana said, as usual following her sister’s lead.
‘Will the church in the village be full of candles, the way the one at home was?’ Lucy asked as Cassie tied a bow over her left ear.
‘I would expect so, but, dear heart, walking a mile in the depths of winter with no one to accompany us is not a good idea. Instead, we shall light our log and sing our carols here.’
‘Will we have to go home?’ Diana asked, a quiver in her voice.
Cassie hugged her tight. ‘I don’t know.’ Not if she could possibly avoid it. ‘Shall we go down and await our guest?’
The girls clattered down the wooden staircase ahead of her. Flutters invaded her stomach. It seemed no matter how she tried to remind herself that Mr Royston was no more than a guest for dinner, her body had other ideas. No doubt she wasn’t the first widow, or yet the last, to consider entertaining a gentleman with more than her company, but she feared she might be making a dreadful mistake.
The girls had barely perched themselves on the chairs in the parlour when a sharp knock came at the front door. Heart fluttering madly, Cassie went in answer.
And there he stood, his chocolate-brown hair dusted by snowflakes, his smile hesitant, his green eyes dark with caution, as if he, too, harboured doubts about the wisdom of this evening. And yet he looked so handsome with the light from the parlour spilling over him, so large, so very male, her mind went blank as her body hummed with pleasure. ‘It is snowing.’
He bowed. ‘It is. Good evening, Mrs Melford.’ He tilted his head in question.
Heat scalded her cheeks. ‘Please, come in.’ Once inside, she took his coat, hat and gloves.
He bowed in the direction of the girls. ‘Good evening, Miss Melford. Miss Diana.’
Such lovely manners.
The girls, bless them, inclined their heads and dipped their knees as she had taught them. ‘Good evening, Mr Royston,’ they chorused.
Diana shot across the room and grabbed his hand. ‘Come and see the table. It has holly and everything.’
Cassie couldn’t quite believe her eyes. Shy Diana had decided he was safe, which said a great deal about Adam Royston.
The man made a great laughing show of allowing himself to be pulled into the kitchen and was assiduous in his praise of the table decorations. ‘Something smells delicious,’ he said, his eyes twinkling at Cassie.
‘Dinner,’ Lucy announced. ‘We are to have vegetable soup and beef stew and custard tart.’
‘That sounds positively wonderful,’ he said. ‘I have to admit I am sharp set after my walk in the snow.’
‘Is it snowing hard?’ Cassie asked to fill a pause.
‘A few flakes on the wind. Not settling.’ His eyes crinkled at the corners in amusement. ‘Except on me.’
She smiled at his teasing. ‘Please, everyone be seated. Mr Royston, if you would take the place of honour at that end.’
Adam held out a chair for each lady in turn and they sat.
‘Lucy,’ Cassie said. ‘Please say grace.’
Replete beyond words, Adam stretched his legs before the hearth. Simple it might have been, but he could not remember when he had enjoyed a meal more. His contentment had nothing to do with the food, which had been plain, hearty and tasty, thank you very much, Mrs Melford. Above all, he had enjoyed the company of a warmhearted woman and her two lively daughters.
Cassie was a treasure. Loving. Gentle. Kind. Yet full of fun. And her body, so magnificently lush he had trouble keeping his hands to himself.
He frowned at the flames in the hearth. This afternoon, for the first time in a long while, something inside him had come alive. He had actually enjoyed himself. Forgotten duty, forgotten responsibility and felt happier than he had in years. Without knowing it, he’d missed that feeling. Badly. Perhaps his parents were right, it was time to move on with his life.
What, and forget Marion? He could not. Would not.
The sounds above his head, the sounds of children readying for bed, the sounds of a mother caring for those children, slowly diminished. Sounds that should have been his, but were not. That was part of the reason he’d avoided Portmaine Court and his family. It reminded him too much of what he had so carelessly thrown away. Instead, he wandered from property to property on Portmaine business. Keeping himself busy. Keeping himself marginally sane by being useful.
Footsteps tripped lightly down the narrow staircase, followed by a view