‘He told me what happened and it was awful.’ So was the way she’d treated him today. Just as she’d sensed his suffering four years ago, she should have guessed it yesterday and let it and not her own fears guide her.
‘I think it’s good Marbrook trusted you with such a thing.’
Lily shook her head. ‘He didn’t tell me out of trust but anger. He flung it at me as if it was the greatest insult he could imagine and it was because of how I’d insulted him.’
She explained to her brother the aspersions she’d cast on Gregor. ‘He came here to make amends and I made a muddle of it. It would have been better if you’d refused his request to come.’
‘I’m glad I didn’t, dear sister, because I can see he has as deep a regard for you as you do for him.’
‘We hardly know one another.’ And what she’d learned of him she’d tossed aside because of her own fears.
‘Look at Mother and Father. They barely knew one another before they married, yet two people couldn’t be more perfectly matched.’
It was true, but at the present, Lily wasn’t as trusting in providence as her parents. ‘Petunia doesn’t think Lord Marbrook and I are suited.’
‘Petunia thinks too much of herself, while Rose thinks too well of everyone. Daisy doesn’t act as she should, Mother and Father are too involved in their plants to check her. I take nothing seriously while you take everything much too seriously. It’s part of your charm.’ He cuffed her under the chin and she knocked his hand away.
‘Try to be serious, Laurus. What am I going to do? He surely hates me now.’
‘There you go, imagining the worst again.’ Laurus knelt down in front of her. ‘After coming all this way to see you, after four years of thinking about you when he might have easily forgotten you, I don’t think he’ll be so easily put off by this misunderstanding.’
‘I’m not so sure.’ She wanted to believe him, but whatever image of her Gregor had held on to in France, she’d surely shattered it with her aspersions today.
‘Then it might be time to swallow your pride and find out. Apologise to him like he did to you.’
It couldn’t be so simple. ‘I don’t think it will make a difference.’
‘There’s only one way to find out. Now come inside and get ready for the ball.’ He rose, taking her hand and pulling her up with him, something of the Lord of Misrule coming into his face. ‘You’ll see there’s Christmas magic to be worked yet.’
A multitude of guests crowded the ballroom, their jewels and bright silks glittering with the many candles set in nearly every candlestick and candelabrum the Rutherfords owned. A small group of musicians from the village sat at the far end of the long room, their violins and flutes playing a lively tune to accompany the dancers going up and down in rows in the centre. Every family in the county was here, for there were very few who wanted to miss the Rutherford Christmas ball. Green garlands were draped in arches along the walls, rising to grace the tops of the windows before dropping back down between them. The last one had been hung by the servants under Lily’s direction less than an hour ago. Through the windows, the falling snowflakes caught the light and began to pile up in the corners of the sills. To the pleasure of all, it hadn’t started snowing until almost every guest had arrived.
A magnificent selection of treats was spread out on the table at the opposite end of the room from the musicians. The older people stood around them, enjoying Sir Timothy’s hearty rum punch while the dowagers and aged wives nibbled at the delicate mincemeat pies. The younger people had no interest in the sweets or drinks, but only the endless reels sending the gentlemen in black coats and breeches and the ladies in deep green or red dresses up and down the dance floor in time to the clapping of their fellow dancers.
Lily didn’t dance tonight, or share in the festivities. She stood near the refreshment table, at the back of a crowd of older folks, forgotten by both them and everyone enjoying the merriment. Across the dance floor, near the wall on the opposite side of the room, Lord Marbrook stood just as removed from the merry society as her. The many preparations for the ball had kept Lily occupied through the entire afternoon, leaving no time for her to seek Gregor out or to speak to him about this morning, though Lily wasn’t sure if she should regret the lack of opportunity or be glad for it.
On the dance floor, Laurus made a sweeping turn with Sir Walter’s granddaughter, catching Lily’s attention as he moved. With a jerk of his head in the direction of Gregor, he silently encouraged her to cross the divide, but she couldn’t. It was one thing to risk his rejection in the privacy of the house, amongst family. It was quite another to do so in public where more than one person was regarding both of them with curiosity, making it clear they hadn’t forgotten the wedding ball any more than either Lily or Gregor.
Lily cursed her lack of resolve, realising Lord Marbrook was right about her. She wasn’t the brave girl he remembered, just a self-absorbed spinster determined to hang on to the past. She loathed to think of him leaving Helkirk Place with such a low impression of her, but she didn’t know how to begin to rectify her mistakes.
The dancers parted, opening up a space between Lily and Gregor. He stared at her, more sadness than distaste in his hooded eyes. Then at once something he’d said at dinner last night came rushing back.
I don’t know where else to start. I’ve regretted what I did from the moment my father escorted me from the ball.
He hadn’t known where to begin with his apology any more than she did, but at least he’d possessed the courage to make it. The couples came back together with the music, blocking him from her view.
‘Miss Rutherford, what are you doing hiding here, you should be on the dance floor impressing us with your accomplished dancing skills,’ Sir Walter called out as he came down the refreshment table towards her, his breeches making his sticklike legs even leaner. ‘I’m sure Lord Marbrook would love to see your graceful steps again.’
Lily braced herself as the old man’s white hair bobbed around his ears as he laughed, quite pleased with himself and his tiresome joke.
‘Oh, be quiet, Sir Walter, no one wants to hear that rusty old barb any more,’ Aunt Alice said sharply, wiping the smile from his face as she came to stand beside Lily.
Sir Walter set down his punch on the table, indignantly fluffed the lace of his stained cravat, then shuffled away.
‘Thank you, Aunt Alice, for putting an end to his ribbing.’
‘It’s about time someone in this family did.’ She held Toddy in one hand against her ample side and restrained Pygmalion on a leash with the other. The dog strained at the length of ribbon, eager to get away and do who knew what damage. ‘Now, girl, what are you doing here instead of dancing with your young man?’
‘He isn’t my young man,’ Lily corrected, trying to keep her voice steady so as not to reveal any of the turmoil plaguing her. ‘He’s Laurus’s friend.’
‘And I’m the Queen of France. Don’t think I didn’t see you two last night plucking the last berry from the mistletoe.’ Lily gaped at her aunt, who remained unruffled. ‘Now you two are standing across the room as if you don’t know each other. Come and I’ll reintroduce you and get things off on the right foot again.’
‘No, I don’t need any assistance with Lord Marbrook.’ She caught her aunt’s arm before she could set off. ‘Besides, even if I did approach him, he isn’t likely to take too kindly to me tonight.’
‘You won’t know unless