Luke was greeted by the news that the doctor had been called when he returned from riding. He threw his crop and gloves on the sideboard in the hall and took the stairs two at a time. When he entered his grandfather’s sitting room, Marshall was just tidying the grate with a small brush. He put a finger to his lips.
‘He’s sleeping at the moment, sir. Miss Roxanne has been with him for the past two hours. The doctor came and said he was exhausted. He’s not to be upset and he must rest for at least a couple of weeks. Miss Roxanne was reading to him just now, but I think he may have gone off again for a while, because she stopped. Now she’s started again. She has a fine reading voice, sir. Your grandfather was chuckling away for a while there. Reading Shakespeare she was, but in a way I’ve not heard before.’
‘Thank you.’ Luke said. ‘Perhaps you have something you need to do elsewhere? I shall sit with my grandfather for a little now.’
‘Yes, sir. I’ll fetch up some brandy and warm water. It helps his lodship to sleep sometimes and the doctor said anything that made him rest was good.’
‘Yes, you do that,’ Luke said. He walked to the door of his grandfather’s bedchamber and then listened. Roxanne was reading The Taming of the Shrew and acting out the parts. He heard his grandfather chuckle and hesitated, hardly liking to intrude on what was clearly an enjoyable companionship.
‘You are a wicked minx, as I said before,’ the earl said and laughed. ‘I think you have missed your calling, Roxanne. You are wasted here. You should be on the London stage.’
‘I would much prefer to be here with you and Luke.’
‘I think you mean that,’ the earl said. ‘It isn’t just an act with you, is it, Roxanne?’
‘No, sir. I am very fond of you and…’
Luke walked in before she could finish. Roxanne was standing at the foot of the bed, a book of Shakespeare’s plays in her hand. She was smiling, but when she saw him, her cheeks turned pink and she glanced away from his searching gaze.
‘How are you, sir?’ Luke asked and went to his grandfather’s side. ‘I hear the doctor has been to visit you. I think you found the ball too much, sir. Perhaps we should postpone the wedding for a month or two?’
‘You will do no such thing on my account,’ the earl said. ‘It will take place as planned in three weeks from now or I’ll want to know the reason why.’
‘Please do not distress yourself, sir,’ Luke said quickly. ‘I was merely concerned for your health.’
‘My health is neither here nor there. I did not summon the family here for you to change your mind the next day, Clarendon.’
‘Please do not get upset, sir,’ Roxanne said and bent to touch his cheek. ‘I shall leave you with your grandson—Luke, you should not tire him. The doctor told me it is important that your grandfather rests as much as possible.’
‘Of course.’ Luke inclined his head stiffly. ‘I shall speak to you later, Roxanne.’
‘Of course, Luke. Whenever you wish.’
‘You’ll come to visit me again later, girl?’
Roxanne looked at the earl and smiled. ‘Of course. You must have a sleep when Luke leaves you, but I shall come back before dinner.’
Roxanne was sitting in the back parlour she favoured when Luke entered later that day. He frowned to find her alone and asked why she was not in the drawing room with their guests.
‘I wanted a period of quiet reflection,’ she said and stood up. ‘I shall join your Aunt Jane and Uncle Frederick for tea. Most of the others left an hour or so ago. Your Cousin Horatio asked for you, but I was forced to say that I did not know where you were, since I was told you were not with Grandfather.’
‘The earl asked to be left alone. He seems weaker than before. I fear that he may not live much longer. The doctor told me that if he takes a turn for the worse it could be his last illness.’
‘I know he seems very tired, but the ball took a great deal of his energy. I pray that he will recover. He so longs for an heir. It would be wonderful if he could at least know that a child was on the way.’
‘After last night that may already be the case.’ Luke frowned, turning to gaze out of the window. ‘I should apologise for what happened, Roxanne. I did not behave, as a gentleman ought. If I could change things, I would, but unfortunately we cannot turn back the clock.’
His words stung like the lash of a whip. If the previous night had been as wonderful for Luke as it had for her, he would not need to apologise.
‘I think no harm was done since we intended to marry as soon as the banns are called,’ she said. ‘It need only be a small affair. I see no reason why Grandfather should be forced to attend. He will be satisfied if all is done as it should be.’
‘You seem to be on excellent terms. I must bow to your superior judgement in this matter.’
She glanced at him. His lips were white and set in a thin line.
‘Are you angry with me for caring about his welfare?’ Roxanne asked in a carefully flat tone. His manner was so rigid, his anger barely under control. ‘The earl requested that I call him Grandfather. If it annoys you, I can be more formal.’
‘Why should you? He clearly likes it and you.’ Luke frowned as he turned to look at her. ‘Forgive me. I was anxious and when I’m anxious I become angry. I had no right to interfere.’
‘You have every right. I have not forgotten the reason you brought me here, Luke—but I find that my affections are engaged. Grandfather has been generous to me with his own affection and I genuinely wish to make him happy. I hope he will rally again, but I know that he could take a turn for the worse.’
‘If he should die, you would not need to keep your bargain.’
‘Should I not? That would be your decision, naturally.’ Roxanne got to her feet. ‘Excuse me, I should go and take tea with your family. If you wish to disappoint everyone, you must take the necessary steps, Luke. I gave my word to the earl and I shall not break it. However, I shall not hold you to a bargain you dislike so much. Please inform me of your wishes when you are ready. Now, if you will excuse me.’
She walked out of the room with her head high. Luke cursed himself for a fool. She had been on the verge of tears, but hiding it as best she could. He had hurt her and it was the last thing he wanted to do and yet he was hurting too, so badly that he was striking out blindly. He was so confused at this moment that he did not know what he wanted.
Waking to find Roxanne sleeping so sweetly in his bed had thrown his senses into disorder. She was beautiful, generous and passionate—what more could any man want in a wife? He knew that he had discovered a treasure beyond price and it frightened him. How could he ever deserve such a woman?
One day he would break her heart and she would leave him—she might be killed in an accident because he’d broken her heart. To know that he was guilty of bringing her to such misery would destroy him. If he loved her, he would lose her. Far better not to love than to love too much.
Roxanne saw the last of the guests leave and then went upstairs. She knocked at the earl’s door and was invited to enter by his manservant.
‘How is he now, Marshall?’
‘Not so clever, miss. I was just about to send for you to ask what you thought. He doesn’t want a fuss, but I wondered if we should have the doctor again?’
‘I