But the excitement of telling her about the connection faded in the insecurity that whispered along the cellular network. ‘Possibility of taking on a deal in Australia. New boutique hotels. Right from design stage.’
‘Wow, that’s big,’ she said. ‘That’s really big.’
‘It could be amazing.’
‘Sure,’ she agreed. ‘But once you’ve nailed that, will it be enough?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Once you’ve conquered Australia, what’s next?’
‘Indonesia maybe?’ He ignored her underlying criticism and played up. ‘Or Fiji?’
‘Of course.’ She sighed. ‘You’re going to end up with a massive chain.’
‘No need to sound critical, you know I love a challenge.’ And what would be so wrong with a massive challenge?
A small silence. ‘Well, I hope the meeting goes really well. It sounds like it could be a great opportunity. And you’re incredible at making the most of every opportunity that comes your way.’
He swallowed back the defence gagging in his throat. There was no point in fighting with her over the phone. Was she distancing—shoring up her defences in case he let her down?
Her determination not to care worried him. He didn’t want to worry. He didn’t want to have to mind how she might be feeling.
‘So what are you planning to wear tomorrow?’ He tried to tease them both out of it. ‘The black slip dress would be good, with the sequined sandals.’ He dreamed about that outfit all the time.
‘You sound like my gay best friend, you know that?’ she teased back.
He forced a chuckle but couldn’t quite mask the bitter kernel burrowing deeper inside his chest. ‘Isn’t that what you wanted?’
* * *
Less than twenty-four hours later he shook hands with Anthony and Annabel Mackenzie—twin offspring of one of the wealthiest families in Australia. He was the playboy head of the department store conglomerate. She the former solo-sailing superstar. She was petite, beautiful and strong. He was tall and even stronger. Formidable competition, fantastic allies. Practically royalty. Ruben liked being his own boss, but he wasn’t stupid. He’d forge a business alliance with the best of them. But only the best.
‘Thanks for taking time out to meet us.’ Anthony smiled.
‘Pleasure,’ Ruben replied. ‘Thanks for the invitation.’
‘We’ve been watching what you’ve been doing for a while,’ Anthony said. ‘We have some clients in common.’
Conversation quickly turned serious. They wanted him in on a consortium they were putting together to construct a couple of elite boutique lodges in Australia. Ruben would oversee it. But he wanted to know why they wanted him.
Annabel answered briskly. ‘You’re as driven as I am.’
‘For different reasons.’ They couldn’t have more different backgrounds.
A smile showed her acknowledgement of that. ‘You have the kind of focus that ensures success.’
He nodded slowly. Focus was everything. ‘And you insist on success.’
‘Absolutely.’
Yeah, this woman was driven. So was her steely-eyed brother. Ruben understood, he had that insatiable pit in his belly—the fire that needed constant fuel. They might have wildly different histories, but that commonality was there. And this would be some job. It wouldn’t be days away, it would be months. It would be hours and hours of work. The kind of challenge Ruben relished.
‘I’d need total control,’ he said.
Anthony sat back and smiled. ‘Naturally you would.’
As they talked Ruben glanced at Annabel. She was a woman well used to getting what she wanted, a beautiful, fit woman. A woman who had a lot in common with him. She had that ruthless, business-first ambition. Was the kind of person who’d made sacrifices—because no one could have it all. Especially those who dreamed big.
‘I have the connections,’ Anthony was saying. ‘You design it.’
‘We want your vision.’
But Ruben was struggling to concentrate and he’d never had trouble concentrating before. His work was everything to him. It had to be—for so long it had been all he’d had. No family, no friends, only wood and nails and garden had been the constants for him. He’d put his all into it and he’d reaped the benefits. As a kid it had been hard cultivating the ‘I don’t give a damn what you think’ mentality, but now that attitude was second nature. It had seen him take massive risks that had paid off.
But Ellie’s question circled—when would it be enough? Would it ever be enough? Or would the edge of dissatisfaction always be there?
He couldn’t afford to care what Ellie thought. It limited him. He’d start to need approval and he’d needed approval from no one for decades. But he wanted to know what she thought of this. Her doubts made him doubt himself.
He agreed to research the idea and get back to them. Engrossed in thought, he took a taxi from their hotel for the airport. The Mackenzie siblings waved him off and for the first time Ruben felt his isolation keenly.
How could he feel lonely now?
He knew why and, damn it, he couldn’t afford to be thinking about Ellie all the time. Couldn’t afford to miss her. Couldn’t afford to need to talk to her. She took up all his spare brain space. Plus the space he didn’t have spare.
He didn’t do relationships—not beyond superficial friendly or useful for business. None that required emotional investment. His business was his life. That was how he liked it and that was what made him happy. Thinking of her all the time was not making him happy.
He faced facts—it had to be over. He needed to cut her from his life so he could concentrate on what was most important to him. He’d tell her tonight, after the awards.
On a quiet Sunday morning, it could be only a twenty-minute drive to get to the airport, but in traffic like this it might be a good fifty minutes or more. His muscles clenched at the thought of seeing her again and having to say goodbye. He thought back on that conversation so late those few nights ago. The one that had turned him incandescent with rage and forced him into breaking the friendship boundary. His jaw clamped tighter but it was no use. He was powerless to resist, unable to block the constant dreams of her.
Starvation hadn’t killed the sexual attraction. Nor had that night of indulgence. He thought of her more and more. Every phone call he heard the sultry in her voice.
Seeing her would only worsen it. So what was the point of tormenting himself even more? The sooner she was expunged, the better. And wouldn’t seeing her once more only tempt him back into trouble?
The best idea would be for him to go to Australia as soon as possible and focus on that. Because what did she get from him really? He couldn’t believe she really needed his friendship. She had plenty of other friends and she was already expecting him to let her down. Her reaction when he told her about the meeting had shown that. And even if, for just a second, he let himself dream of being with her, he knew he couldn’t ask it of her. She loved her job. She was damn good at it. And it was completely incompatible with his. She didn’t need him distracting her or holding her back. She’d been in it only a few months and she was up for an award already. It was her calling. What she was best at, and what she adored. She was becoming as bad a workaholic as he was.
He frowned at that. She was tired with all these back to back tours. She needed a rest. In his most private dream he’d take her back to the hut and pin her there until she’d caught up on all the sleep she needed. He groaned at the agony. Because it wasn’t