“False alarm.” One of the bellmen came outside and shouted. “Once the fire department gives the okay, everyone can return to their rooms. It should be just a few minutes.”
“Good.” Wrapping her arms around herself, Natalie shivered. “Damn. I wish I’d grabbed my coat.”
He pulled her into his arms. “Come here.” When she hesitated, he shook his head. “No funny business, Nat. Shared body heat is better. You’ll be warmer this way.”
She relaxed against him, but only slightly. “Have you checked out the parking lot?”
“We’re on the north side of the building. All the cars are parked on the south. Whoever pulled the fire alarm wanted us out of the building, but why?”
“The code!” The bellman indicated they could return to their rooms and she ran for the entrance. “Maybe they think I left it in the room.”
He limped after her, struggling to keep up. “Did you?”
“Of course not,” she scoffed. “It’s with me. I never let it out of my sight. And Corbett’s info is on the laptop.”
“How would they know you have either of them?”
“That’s what I’d like to know.” Shooting him an exasperated look, she yanked open the side door and quickly entered the registration area.
“Nat, wait for me. We’re a team, remember? For now, you’re supposed to work with me, to trust me.” The instant he spoke he knew he’d made a major mistake.
“Been there, done that. No thanks.” She stopped a moment and looked at him, her face unreadable, her mouth set in a grim line that was totally unlike the Natalie he knew and loved.
“Nat, wait …”
Ignoring him, she kept going.
Since he had no choice, he followed, grabbing her arm. “You can’t just walk away from me if we’re going to work together …”
“Work?” She spun to face him and he was startled to see tears in her caramel eyes. “This has nothing to do with work.”
Sean took a deep breath. “Look, Nat, I know you’ll never forgive me for what I did two years ago. I can explain my reasons until I’m blue in the face, and you won’t understand.”
“I swear if you say it’s time to put the past behind us and move forward, I’m going to puke all over you.”
Since that was exactly what he’d been planning to say, he said nothing. Instead, he kept his mouth shut and stared at her.
She stared back, the coldness of her expression at war with the pain in her eyes.
“You’ve gone on with your life, have you?” he finally asked.
“As best I could.”
“You’ve found someone else then?”
For the space of one heartbeat, two, she said nothing. Finally, she made an odd little sound and shook her head. “You don’t know how badly I’d like to lie and tell you yes, I’ve found someone else.”
“Like Dennie Pachla, the doctor?” he suggested, hating himself for asking but wanting, needing to know.
“He’s a friend.” Her voice was tired. “Like Auggie. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but there’s been no one else.”
Some devil urged him on. “Why not?” he pushed. “Two years is plenty of time for a griefstricken widow to move on with her life.”
She looked down, twisting her hands together. When she finally raised her head, the anguished look on her face made him feel as if he’d twisted the knife.
“Do you know what it’s like to love someone so much that every beat of your heart echoes theirs?” Her voice broke, but she didn’t cry.
Before he could answer, she continued.
“Do you have any idea, any idea at all, what it’s like to love someone that much and then have them ripped out of your arms?”
“Yes,” he said quietly. “I do.”
“I don’t think so.” She held up her hand when he would have argued. “Because honestly, Sean, if you had, you would have known I nearly followed you to the grave.”
Shocked, stunned, he shook his head. “You mean you …? Corbett never told me.”
“Corbett doesn’t know. Would it have made a difference, Sean? Would you have shown up at my funeral?”
“How can you ask such a thing?” Now, when he’d thought he had nothing left unbroken, the last bit of his heart shattered. “I can’t believe you tried to—”
She shrugged. “It wasn’t intentional, Sean. I was hurting and my doctor had prescribed pills. I suppose I knew I shouldn’t mix antidepressants and alcohol, but I only intended to have one drink.” She took a deep breath. “Next thing I knew, I woke up in a hospital.”
This he couldn’t wrap his mind around. “I had no idea.”
“How could you? You were dead.”
The repercussions of his lie had been worse and had spread wider than he’d ever imagined. “I couldn’t have lived with myself if you’d died,” he said.
“How do you think I felt?” The sheer anguish in her voice struck him raw. And as she turned away, he wanted only to wrap her tight in his arms and tell her he’d never let her go again.
Chapter 8
Moving with the others down the long hallway, Natalie knew when she saw the partially opened door of their room that they had been right.
Whoever had pulled the alarm had been in their room. Had trashed it.
“The only other person I’ve told about the code is Corbett. This must be the work of the Lazlo Group mole.”
“That’s possible.” Standing in the doorway, Sean nodded. “What about your friend Auggie?”
“Auggie’s a good guy. He wouldn’t do this.”
Sean shook his head, as though he didn’t completely agree. “What a frigging mess.”
The room looked like a jacked-up demon on meth had torn through it. Natalie couldn’t even begin to envision explaining this to the inn management. Hopefully, they would just assume it was a break-in and since their room was near the exit, it had been the easiest to target.
“I know.” Pacing from one end of the room to the other, Natalie looked for any sign to indicate who the culprit was. “They must have been pretty pissed off when they didn’t find it.”
“Obviously.”
She fingered the tiny flash drive. “Of course they didn’t realize this baby stays with me everywhere I go.”
The next morning, Natalie tried to avoid looking at Sean, as though he could read in her eyes the dreams that had tormented her in the darkest part of the night. Pleasant dreams, indeed.
She’d known she wanted him, of course. But she wasn’t in the habit of lying to herself, and what she hadn’t realized was exactly how much she wanted him. Like a craving, an addiction, her desire for him never left her.
Worse, she knew why. Making love was exactly that to her—two people, madly in love, celebrating with their bodies. Sean had been her one and only and she’d come to him untouched, a virgin.
She was still untouched, by choice. If she couldn’t love someone else as much as she’d loved Sean, she didn’t think she would ever