His voice was low. ‘I’m always going to be the King of Euronia. I’m always going to be father to Annabelle.’
She nodded. ‘I’ve never questioned those things.’
He held her gaze. ‘But I’ve never really told you that those are things that I wanted. Not just things that were forced upon me or inherited by birth. When I was young I thought being King would be a whole lot of pressure on my shoulders—with no say in it for me. As I’ve grown older I’ve accepted that not only is this my destiny, it’s something I actually want.’
She ran her tongue along her lips. Deep down she’d always known this. Even though Alex hadn’t told her who he was when they’d met. This wasn’t just his inherited future. This was a future he was willing to embrace.
It was a first step. It was the first time he’d actually admitted to her what he wanted in life.
He leaned back in his chair a little. ‘I went to the US to study and learn business. It was my idea, not my father’s, but he fully supported it. The world is changing constantly—it’s getting smaller—and Euronia needed to move into the twenty-first century.’
‘And now?’
‘Now I need to use everything that I’ve learned to help my country prosper.’
‘So where does that leave us?’
So many things were sparking in her brain. Did Alex suspect what she was about to say to him?
‘How do you feel about me, Ruby?’
The question blind-sided her. She knew they were having a frank discussion, but she hadn’t expected him just to ask her outright.
‘I...’ Her voice tailed off as her brain tried frantically to find the right words.
He shook his head.
She hadn’t even answered yet and she’d disappointed him. But how could she tell him how she really felt when they still hadn’t dealt with the heart of the problem? She had to say the words.
‘What if Sophia had lived?’
‘What?’ He looked confused. Blind-siding worked both ways.
‘What if her cancer had been cured and she’d lived—what then?’
He shook his head. ‘That would never have happened. Sophia’s cancer was already terminal. Nothing was going to change that.’
‘But what if it had? Would you still have married her? Still have had Annabelle? Would you have come looking for me at all?’
Her voice started to shake a little and she took a deep breath. She needed to be calm. She needed to be rational and not blinded by her emotions.
‘I need you to be honest with me, Alex. I need you to be honest with yourself.’ This was hurting more than she could ever have imagined. ‘If Sophia was alive today, where would she feature in your life?’
‘Don’t paint her as the villain in this piece. You’re angry with me because I married another woman. Just say it.’ He blurted it out straight away.
‘You’re right. I was angry. More than that, I was bitterly disappointed—even though I’d no right to be. But I don’t understand. If you’d really wanted to find me you could have. In fact, you did. You sent me those flowers. Why didn’t you just come and see me? Why didn’t you ever jump in your million-pound jet and come and find me?’
She was sounding desperate and she hated herself for being like that. But if it was going to be all out there—then so be it.
‘You didn’t answer my message, Ruby. I left you a message—I got no reply. What was I supposed to do? Search for a woman who didn’t want me to find her? Embarrass myself and put you in vulnerable position?’
She bit her lip. It was a reasonable reply. But it didn’t make her like it any better.
He kept going.
‘I thought my father was about to die. The things I’d been working towards were being thrust on me from a great height. I didn’t have time to think about it any more—I had to just do it. No wonder my father had agreed for me to study business. The country’s finances were in a mess. We were teetering on the brink of disaster. For the best part of three years I juggled finances, moved money, invested money, watched stock markets and persuaded people to come to Euronia—persuaded people to invest in Euronia. Most nights I got around four hours’ sleep. I was a mess, Ruby. I didn’t have time to sleep, let alone think. How would you have felt if you’d been around a man who was too busy to spend time with you? Too busy to talk? Too busy to sleep? What kind of a relationship would that have been?’
‘But you found time for Sophia.’
She said it so quietly the words were barely a whisper above the hum of the yacht’s engines.
Alex’s eyes widened and his response was immediate. ‘Sophia appeared just as things were starting to look up. She was desperate, Ruby. She was dying and she was my friend. Sophia’s illness brought me back to reality. What’s the point of taking care of a country if you can’t take care of those around you?’
She could hear the emotion in his voice. It was starting to break. This was it. This was the whole crux of the matter. This was the enormous big grey elephant in the room and it was time to smash it to smithereens.
‘So what happened with Annabelle, then?’
The words echoed around them. She hadn’t really meant to say them out loud. They’d come into her brain and out of her mouth almost instantly. It was cruel. It was uncalled for.
It was unintentional.
He sat back sharply—almost as if she’d thrust a knife into his chest.
‘You think it’s my fault, don’t you?’
She looked him straight in the eye. Everyone had danced around Alex. Everyone had chosen their words carefully. But this was it. This was the only way to give them a fighting chance.
‘I think that when Sophia died Annabelle didn’t just lose her mother, she lost her father too.’
She took a deep breath and continued.
‘You keep claiming Sophia was only your friend. And you can tell me that as often as you like. But your little girl is the spitting image of her mother. Do you think I’ve not noticed that there’s no photograph of her mother in her room? Do you think I don’t see that little fleeting gaze of something when you look at her? Don’t ask me what it is, Alex, but it’s there. I’ve seen it. Children pick up on these things. And I think Annabelle has picked up on it. You don’t want to be around her. She reminds you too much of what you’ve lost.’
She could almost see the shock registering on his face, but she couldn’t stop.
She pointed her finger at him. ‘I know you’ve been busy, but I don’t think you’ve been as busy as you claim to be. When I laid it out for you that you had to spend time with her you managed to do it.’
She was hurting him. She could tell. And she really didn’t want to. But it had to be said. She had to try and move them both forward.
‘She’s improving, Alex. She is. I know that when she’s around you, and around me, she exists in her own little bubble. But it’s our job to expand your daughter’s world in a way that makes her feel safe.’
‘This isn’t about Annabelle. Today isn’t about Annabelle. This is supposed to be about you and me.’
He looked stunned. Stunned that someone had challenged him on his feelings about Sophia. Stunned that someone was suggesting the reason his daughter might not be speaking was his fault.
It was only natural for him to try and deflect the conversation.
‘But